Category: humor

Another installment from my dad’s humor cards.

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories or observations that he typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

When we cleaned out his desk after he died 7 years ago, I was lucky enough to stumble on this stack. I pull it out regularly to have a little laugh with my dear Dad. Now when I post one of them, I write my note next to his and it feels like a continuation.

Less Than Meets the Eye

A department store floor manager noticed a young boy staring intently at the handrail of an escalator. The manager walked over to him and asked, “Son, are you all right?”

The boy nodded “yes” without looking up.

“Can I help you?” he asked.

The boy shook his head “no” and continued to look at the handrail.

“Well, young man, do you want me to explain to you how escalators work?”

The lad replied “No, Mister, I’m just waiting for my bubble gum to come back!”

From Parables, November 1982

Another installment from my dad’s humor cards.

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories or observations that he typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

When we cleaned out his desk after he died 7 years ago, I was lucky enough to stumble on this stack. I pull it out regularly to have a little laugh with my dear Dad. Now when I post one of them, I write my note next to his and it feels like a continuation.

Funny How

Funny how a $10 bill looks so big when you take it to church, but so small when you take it to the market.

Funny how we get thrilled when a football game goes into overtime, but we complain when a sermon is longer than the regular time.

Funny how we believe what newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how people scramble to get a front seat at any game, but scramble to get a back seat at a church service.

Funny how we can’t think of anything to say when we pray, and don’t have any difficulty thinking of things to talk about to a friend.

Funny how we are so quick to take direction from a total stranger when we are lost, but are hesitant to take God’s direction to be found.

Funny how people are so consumed with what others think about them rather than what God thinks about them.

Funny how so many churchgoers sing “Standing on the Promises,” but all they do is sit on the premises.

Funny how people think that they can get more accomplished in a lifetime without God than in an hour with him.

Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they don’t have to believe, or to think, or to say, or to do anything.

Funny, isn’t it?

Another installment from my dad’s humor cards.

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories or observations that he typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

When we cleaned out his desk after he died 7 years ago, I was lucky enough to stumble on this stack. I pull it out regularly to have a little laugh with my dear Dad. Now when I post one of them, I write my note next to his and it feels like a continuation.

Sins of Omission

The Sunday School teacher asked her class: “What are sins of omission?”

After some thought one little fellow said, “They’re the sins we should have committed but didn’t get around to.”

(from Parables, etc., Vol 3, #3, May 1983)

Another installment from my dad’s humor cards.

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories or observations that he typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

When we cleaned out his desk after he died 7 years ago, I was lucky enough to stumble on this stack. I pull it out regularly to have a little laugh with my dear Dad. Now when I post one of them, I write my note next to his and it feels like a continuation.

The Stethoscope

A nurse on the pediatric ward, before listening to the little ones’ chests, would plug the stethoscope into their ears and let them listen to their own hearts. Their eyes would always light up with awe…but she never got a response equal 4-year-old David’s. She placed the disk over his heart. “Listen,” she said, “What do you suppose that is?”

He drew his eyebrows together in a puzzled line and looked up…as if lost in the mystery of the strange tapping deep in his chest. Then his face broke into a wondrous grin. “Is that Jesus knocking?” he asked.

Another installment from my dad’s humor cards.

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories or observations that he typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

When we cleaned out his desk after he died 7 years ago, I was lucky enough to stumble on this stack. I pull it out regularly to have a little laugh with my dear Dad. Now when I post one of them, I write my note next to his and it feels like a continuation.

The Test

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.

“What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asks the cop.

“I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.”

“Oh yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Let’s see you do it.”

The juggler gets out and starts juggling the flaming torches masterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch. “Wow,” says the driver to his wife. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!”