How To Share Optimism

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“Light and shadow are opposite sides of the same coin. We can illuminate our paths or darken our way. It is a matter of choice.” – Maya Angelou

You know the skit about positivity? It goes something like this:

Johnny: “We have to drive three hours to have lunch with relatives I’ve never met? This is going to suck!”

Mom: “Johnny, you haven’t even met these people. You need to be more positive.”

Johnny: “I’m positive this is going to suck.”

I’m a congenital optimist. It’s taken me decades to understand my own filter and figure out how it effects others. As a parent, an entrepreneur and as a leader, I’ve come to see that optimism can be helpful when encouraging others, but it has to be tempered with genuinely acknowledging the ups and downs. In the end, I see optimism more as fuel to keep trying than an expectation about an outcome.

Which aligns with the How to Share podcast conversation I had with the incredible author and blogger Mark Petruska. He also is an inveterate optimist and together we explore the concept of optimism, discussing its definition, the importance of timing when sharing optimistic views, and the audience’s receptiveness to such messages.

We delve into the relationship between optimism and empathy, the balance between optimism and realism, and the idea that optimism can be cultivated as a skill. Our conversation emphasizes the significance of understanding individual circumstances and the stages of acceptance and grief when offering encouragement.

How To Share Optimism Takeaways

  • Optimism is defined as a favorable view of the future.
  • Timing is crucial when sharing optimism, especially during difficult times.
  • People may not be receptive to optimism until they reach acceptance
  • Empathy plays a significant role in how we share optimism.
  • Optimists may live longer due to lower stress levels.
  • Optimism can be cultivated and strengthened like a muscle.
  • It’s important to balance optimism with humility and realism.
  • Sharing personal experiences can enhance the impact of optimistic messages.
  • Understanding your audience is key to effectively sharing optimism.

This is a great episode that will get you thinking about the lens you look through – and how to share it with others. I’m optimistic that you’ll love it.

Here’s a sneak peek of the great conversation with the amazing Mark Petruska:

Here are some ways you can listen and watch to the full episode:

Please listen, watch, provide feedback and subscribe.

How to Share Our Luck with Gil Gillenwater – How To Share

In this enlightening conversation, Gil Gillenwater is with host Wynne Leon and shares his experiences and insights from over 35 years of philanthropic work along the US-Mexico border. He discusses his book, 'Hope on the Border,' which highlights the transformative power of education and community service. Gil emphasizes the importance of enlightened self-interest over traditional charity, advocating for a model that empowers individuals and fosters dignity. He explores the duality of poverty, the need for sustainable opportunities, and the joy found in serving others, ultimately presenting a vision for a more connected and compassionate world.TakeawaysEducation is the key to breaking the cycle of poverty.Enlightened self-interest can lead to personal and communal growth.Charity should not be viewed as a sacrifice but as a mutual benefit.Volunteering provides a sense of purpose and fulfillment.Welfare can disempower individuals and communities.Community service fosters connections and shared humanity.The disparity in wealth is a significant issue that needs addressing.Experiencing poverty firsthand can change perspectives.Creating opportunities in one's home country can reduce migration.The joy of service is a pathway to personal happiness.Links for this episode:How to Share homeHope on the Border at AmazonGil's organization: Rancho FelizGil Gillenwater on FacebookWynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith; Blog: https://wynneleon.com/; Substack: https://wynneleon930758.substack.com/
  1. How to Share Our Luck with Gil Gillenwater
  2. How to Share 1970's Chicago with Doug. E. Jones
  3. How to Share Feedback with Dr. Vicki Atkinson
  4. How to Share the Next Generation with Mari Sarkisian Wyatt
  5. How to Share Impactfully with Social Media Friends with Amy Weinland Daughters

Links for How To Share Optimism podcast episode:

Storyteller and writer Mark Petruska

Is Optimism Something We’re Born With? | Psychology Today

Hope and Optimism as an Opportunity to Improve the “Positive Mental Health” Demand – PMC

The Difference Between Hopeful Optimism and Toxic Positivity | Psychology Today

(featured photo from Pexels)

67 thoughts on “How To Share Optimism”

  1. It’s odd; I’m the complete opposite; and am a pessimist but not a fatalist. I’ve read works by Peter Zapffe, Thomas Ligotti and (especially) Eugene Thacker (see this link https://continentcontinent.cc/archives/issues/issue-2-2-2012/cosmic-pessimism and his website https://eugenethacker.com/). Previously, I was very much inclined to try to think myself happy but that quickly ran aground and in fact made me worse rather than better. Not to be tendentious but I am a little suspicious of anyone who is too optimistic or perennially saying how great things are which in any event is very anthropocentric. I am genuinely pleased, though, that you’ve found a way to channel your optimism in a way that helps you cope with life — in all its glory. Take care, Julian

    Liked by 2 people

    1. How interesting, Julian. Eugene certainly knows how to make a point!

      I’m grateful I’ve learned to adjust my lens – or at least know it’s there. It can be great fuel but not all that accurate!

      Thanks for the great comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. An Interesting talk. Thanks to you both.

    The research you mentioned does give some mild support to those who believe there is a link between optimism and longevity. It is a fairly new research topic, so we will likely know more when additional studies have been done.

    It is also likely true that the survival of our ancestors was linked to having both optimists and pessimists within the small groups who faced the conditions early man confronted.

    It may be that the present is another historical moment when the world has the best available chance of successfully taking on a different set of challenges if both the optimists and pessimists listen to such contrary voices.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Such a good point about optimists and pessimists working together for survival – then and now. I’m grateful that I’ve come to see it as a lens so I can take in other perspectives. Thank you for the thought-provoking and helpful comment, Dr. Stein!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “In the end, I see optimism more as fuel to keep trying than an expectation about an outcome.”

    I’ve observed that when leaders show toxic optimism, when everything looks like it’s going to the dogs, that the employees lose trust and feel they’re being lied to.

    Unfortunately, that kind of fake optimism is based on an old leadership principle of “fake it until you make it”, and though it may allow leadership to fumble on and try to get through a tight spot, it alienates people who see through the smoke and mirrors.

    I’ve learned that optimism needs to be rooted in reality and not just be wishful thinking, otherwise the letdown tends to be a crash.

    As long as there remains the possibility of hope or a reasonable solution, then choosing optimism can be very helpful and mentally healthy. There is a fine line when those options run out and when one has entered the realm of magical thinking!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great points, Tamara. I think you highlight something really important which is that forced optimism is ineffective at best. As is most everything that is forced. Authenticity is so much better to win hearts and minds. I like your phrase that optimism needs to be rooted in reality – right! Thanks for the great comment!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes to authenticity and to being realistic! Love them both so much!

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  4. Okay Wynne, you had me simply by saying it was a conversation with Mark and you! Two great people, I can’t wait to listen! So much humor and wisdom. And then the topic. I’m fascinated with where optimism comes from. My first instinct is to be negative and pessimistic as you can get. Once I address the elephant in the room, I start to see sprinkles of light and hope. It happens All in a matter of minutes. It’s the crazy in me. Can’t wait to listen Wynne!🎉🎉🎉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, that’s fascinating about acknowledging the elephant in the room and then it opens up. Wow – next time we need to have you in on the discussion! I’m fascinated with the power of learning how we all tend to operate and then being able to work with it. Thanks for tuning in, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Funny, I joked about adding a pessimist to the discussion midway through. I would love to do a joint podcast with you, Brian! Err…not about marijuana…I just mean, both of us chatting with Wynne and/or Vicki!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m so with you and mark on this! I see it as a good thing, not ignoring the reality, but seeing the best in things, and knowing that hope is what keeps us going!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hope is what keeps up going — love this, Beth! Right! It doesn’t make it not suck but it’s being open to the little delights along the way.

      Like

  6. Toxic positivity, what a perfect expression to describe the downside of unfiltered optimism. But, keeping in mind the importance of tempering one’s optimism with empathy, I’m thankful that I’m more of an optimist than a pessimist!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. “I’m positive this is going to suck.”

    Well now, Johnny might be a kid after my own heart. I’m a charmingly cynical person so I approach things and people with caution, not wanting to assume anything good will or won’t happen. Imagine my joy when I’m proved wrong and things don’t suck! In other words optimism for me is being proved wrong. 😜

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Always excellent content, Wynne! I like the point about timing being crucial in sharing optimism. Dr. Kenneth C. Haugk wrote an excellent book on this called “Don’t Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart: How to Relate to Those Who Are Suffering.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for tuning in, Dana. Timing is so important, isn’t it. That sounds like an excellent book because it’s so hard to stand by with suffering. I’m going to check it out!

      Like

  17. You make a powerful point about timing. It can sound completely pretentious to say things will be fine when in the middle of a painful crisis. I tend to label myself a realistic optimist. I believe things will work out, but sometimes it takes deep effort and hard work to get to there.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Deep effort and hard work – I couldn’t agree more, Rose. And yes – timing is key, as is acknowledging the difficulties and disappointments. Well said, my friend!

      Like

  18. “I see optimism more as fuel to keep trying than an expectation about an outcome.” So good, Wynne!

    I’ve always been fascinated by personality traits more than the appearances we inherit from our parents, and the connection that helps us understand how much of this is learned behavior. My mom was an eternal optimist, and I like that quality in myself. (Except with automobiles, in which case I always seem to fear the worst.) 😐 Note that this happens to be on my mind because I just learned today that my truck repairs are going to cost over $2,000. Ouch!

    Let’s see if I can turn that into a good thought. At least that’s one thing I won’t have to worry about fixing when I sell the truck in a few months.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, I love that you let us sneak peak into your process, Pete! Personality traits are fascinating – I think so too! Sorry about your truck – but I bet you’re right, it’ll make the process easier for you going forward!

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I love that you drew your dad into the conversation – I miss those Sunday reruns! – as optimism has so much to do with faith in the unknown. Life is not without challenges but optimism helps us know that things will be ok regardless of the outcome. Humility and empathy have a lot to do with it too. For me, sharing optimism needs to be balanced with pragmatic steps too to help the receiver of the message. I think about that a lot as it could often come across as toxic positivity (I hate this word by the way!). Great conversation to start my day! Greetings from rush hour traffic (on the bus)! 😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What a brilliant connection you’ve made here between optimism and faith. Yes, I agree!

      Your process for balancing with pragmatic steps is nice way to think about how to make optimism actionable. I love it!

      Thanks for tuning in. I appreciate you and your thoughtful comments so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I’m with Ab – I was about to offer the same comment – that I appreciated your inclusion of your dad, the talented optimist Dick Leon in the conversation with Mark.
    I think I appreciate the fact that you both acknowledged the situational nature of offering optimism. It’s good to have a positive outlook but I’m with Mark about fine lines about humility when it comes to offering input to others. Nicely done! 🥰

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Humility when offering input to others — yes for all situations. Love that you called that out, my dear friend!! So good. And thanks for listening! I appreciate it and I’m sure my dear dad does too! 😉 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  22. I find it interesting (and honestly, a little disconcerting) that a couple of people equate “pessimism” with “realism.” Even Tara has made that comparison in the past, but I don’t believe it. The insinuation is that optimists are somehow ignorant of the real world. My reality has largely been positive, and maybe manifesting has something to do with that…this ability to turn hopes and dreams into reality. It’s a very different mindset..the classic glass is half-full/half-empty outlook.

    Thanks again for having me. This was fun!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that is an interesting tie too. But I think the American can-do ethos makes it harder to own being a pessimist. That’s my theory at least.

      I loved having this conversation with you. Optimism, manifestation, and a willingness to put things into practical use – the perfect combo!

      Liked by 1 person

  23. The Maya quote is a perfect start to this great conversation, Wynne. I agree with you that optimism is a choice to keep hope alive, but for me, it doesn’t mean that I won’t be realistic either. I think if we keep a pessimistic mindset, we’ll just live in doom each day, which in turn, could trigger more stress. And who needs more stress in their lives? So, I try to be hopeful and optimistic without expectations. This is great: “It’s important to balance optimism with humility and realism.” Well said. It was wonderful listening to you and Mark. 💞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I love this comment, Lauren. I think you put your finger on it but honing in on not having expectations. And the humility too! Thank you so much for listening! This feedback is so helpful to me!

      Like

  25. “… optimism more as fuel to keep trying than an expectation about an outcome.” Wonderfully articulated, Wynne. Personalities are fascinating and although experiences may broaden our perspectives, among other things, dispositions seem to be fairly consistent in individuals, as they progress through life. Interesting, isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Ugh, that Mark guy again?! I’m kidding. We all love Mark, and I don’t know where I’d be without him in my life.

    I’m optimistic that you’ll love it.–Fantastic ending, Wynne! 😛 This sounds like good stuff. I’ll bookmark it for my teeth brushing time, ‘cuz that’s how I do.

    Like

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