How to Share Life’s Challenges

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“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein

In 2009 when I had to tell my parents that my husband and I had separated, I agonized over having the conversation. It meant that I not only had to manage my emotions about what was going on but also be prepared for theirs. It turned out to be a great conversation because I no longer needed to maintain a veneer that everything was okay.

I’m thinking about this conversation because I was just talking with the thought-provoking and inspiring blogger and retirement coach, Michelle Oram, about how to share life’s challenges on the How To Share podcast. She reminded me that when we share the difficult things we are going through, we open up ourselves to support.

In this podcast episode, Michelle shares her experiences and insights on how to navigate life’s challenges, particularly in sharing difficult news such as a cancer diagnosis. She discusses the importance of prioritizing who to share with, the emotional fatigue that can come from repeated sharing, and the value of support from both close friends and strangers. Our conversation also touches on the nuances of communication in personal versus professional contexts, and how these experiences shape our understanding of support and empathy. I also got to hear about Michelle’s new venture in retirement coaching, emphasizing the emotional aspects of transitioning into retirement.

Takeaways

  • Navigating life’s challenges requires thoughtful communication.
  • Prioritizing who to share difficult news with is crucial.
  • Sharing can open doors to support and help.
  • It’s okay to use different methods to communicate news.
  • Listening is more important than talking when supporting others.
  • People often don’t know what to say, so guidance is helpful.
  • Empathy grows from personal experiences with challenges.
  • Support can come from unexpected places.
  • Retirement can be a significant life change that requires preparation.

Here’s a short clip from our episode to give you a taste of the great conversation. Michelle’s comments about the power of open communication match my experience telling my parents about my breakup and more – when we share life’s challenges, it allows others to be able to support us.

Here are some ways you can listen and watch to the full episode:

Please listen, watch, provide feedback and subscribe.

How to Share Our Luck with Gil Gillenwater – How To Share

In this enlightening conversation, Gil Gillenwater is with host Wynne Leon and shares his experiences and insights from over 35 years of philanthropic work along the US-Mexico border. He discusses his book, 'Hope on the Border,' which highlights the transformative power of education and community service. Gil emphasizes the importance of enlightened self-interest over traditional charity, advocating for a model that empowers individuals and fosters dignity. He explores the duality of poverty, the need for sustainable opportunities, and the joy found in serving others, ultimately presenting a vision for a more connected and compassionate world.TakeawaysEducation is the key to breaking the cycle of poverty.Enlightened self-interest can lead to personal and communal growth.Charity should not be viewed as a sacrifice but as a mutual benefit.Volunteering provides a sense of purpose and fulfillment.Welfare can disempower individuals and communities.Community service fosters connections and shared humanity.The disparity in wealth is a significant issue that needs addressing.Experiencing poverty firsthand can change perspectives.Creating opportunities in one's home country can reduce migration.The joy of service is a pathway to personal happiness.Links for this episode:How to Share homeHope on the Border at AmazonGil's organization: Rancho FelizGil Gillenwater on FacebookWynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith; Blog: https://wynneleon.com/; Substack: https://wynneleon930758.substack.com/
  1. How to Share Our Luck with Gil Gillenwater
  2. How to Share 1970's Chicago with Doug. E. Jones
  3. How to Share Feedback with Dr. Vicki Atkinson
  4. How to Share the Next Generation with Mari Sarkisian Wyatt
  5. How to Share Impactfully with Social Media Friends with Amy Weinland Daughters

Links for this episode:

Michelle Oram’s blog: Boomer Eco Crusader

12 things you should never say to someone with cancer – Boomer Eco Crusader

Best ways to support someone with cancer – Boomer Eco Crusader

Michelle Oram’s Second Life Vision retirement coaching

76 thoughts on “How to Share Life’s Challenges”

  1. Pingback: Skillfully sharing bad news - How to Share podcast - Boomer Eco Crusader

  2. I will be coming back to listen to this when I have a calmer moment, but I wanted to say that I love how sharing our challenges is being discussed (I think we should all encourage to do so). I know this has helped me during difficult times. Love this!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. As an introvert I know that for me sharing anything that makes me feel even slightly vulnerable comes with the “emotional fatigue” you mention. I’ve never termed the experience as such, but that is the truth of it. Thanks for this insight.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Will definitely check out the episode. Those are great key takeaways and I agree, when we share difficult news with the right people we open ourselves up to their support. I’ve had that experience recently too.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. As someone who also went through cancer treatment, there are several overlaps in Michelle’s story and mine. But in particular, I could relate to people (usually friends or old classmates) who wanted to check in with me regularly, and it became difficult to repeat the latest updates (sometimes they were more involved stories.) I had already started a “Cancer Page” on my blog, for this very reason, and some did look there, but many people wanted to hear it from me directly. (I wanted to say “Check the page, PLEASE” but I didn’t.) I knew they were well-meaning, and this was their way of communicating. Thanks, Wynne and Michelle for an important conversation.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh, that’s interesting, isn’t it? I think you are right on the money that it was their way of communicating. Your blog — what a great way to disseminate the information because it is hard to keep repeating. Love your comments that help flesh out the topic. Thank you, Melanie!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. You’ve hit the nail on the head Wynne. “She reminded me that when we share the difficult things we are going through, we open up ourselves to support.” I think this is one of the reasons why I’m so interested to see where you go with this topic. I don’t always like to share my fears or things that might not make look all that great but . . . when I do, I’m always amazed by the weight that it’s lifted from my shoulders. It really is a freeing experience. Way off topic, but I have to tell you too. I love how you’re summing up each episode with your bullet list of takeaways. I usually can’t listen to the podcast right away. I have to come back to it. I love that you’re giving me a snapshot up front. Great stuff Wynne.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh thank you so much for this comment on many levels. It is so helpful when starting something new to know what is and isn’t working. I so appreciate knowing that the takeaways do and your encouragement for the topic is so appreciated! Thank you, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. this sounds like it’s going to be a great conversation. it’s something I’ve struggled with at times, not being sure how to share, who to share with, and what would happen as a result of my sharing. I look forward to listening to the whole podcast and learning. love the previews –

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I’m sorry not to have made it over to your new podcast series, Wynne, until now. My intentions have been good, but as you well know, there are still only 24 hours in a day. Well, I’m here today.

    I agree with Michelle how tiresome and wearing it can be to tell the same bad news stories over and over again. Email is a much better option. One symptom of aging I’ve discovered in myself is I can’t remember who I’ve told. I don’t want to become that guy who repeats the same story four times to the same person. Her solution is a great option.

    I appreciate Michelle sharing her story. I respect eveyone’s method of sharing or not sharing, but I operare from the same philosphy of openness as her. Sharing with others helps me process how I’m feeling. Keeping that all built up inside wouldn’t be healthy for me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love how you say that sharing helps you process – that’s a really astute observation! And I agree about not remembering who I’ve told. It’s hard to keep track so I like Michelle’s suggestion about email too.

      Thank you for taking the time – I know how busy you are supporting your family, students and community. There’s no hurry on podcast content – it’ll wait until you have some downtime!

      Thanks, Pete!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Love so much about this episode, Wynne. I’m so glad Michelle stressed how everybody shares differently, and that’s ok. I have no intention of sharing details of certain heartaches. But I have found a calming peace and relief in sharing general difficulties, especially when unexpectedly learning that others have gone through similar situations. I also appreciate your takeaway list. It helps me stay aware so I don’t miss those items.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, I love how you say “calming peace and relief” – that’s wonderful. And thanks for the feedback about the takeaway list. It’s so helpful to know what resonates with people! Thank you, Rose!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Growing up in a family that offers emotional support gives kids the building blocks to find people who they can confide in confidently. The rest of us read books, watch TED talks, listen to podcasts and observe all we can.

        Liked by 1 person

  22. Great post, Wynne! I love what Michelle said about sharing daunting news, that it brings support. Humans are like pack animals. We need people, not that we don’t enjoy our quiet time, but everyone should have a support circle, whether it’s family or friends, or a combination of both. Thanks for introducing us to Michelle. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  23. This is terrific, Wynne, because I remember dreading having that same conversation with my parents. But then, it happened unexpectedly one afternoon, the words just tumbling out after my mom dropped by the house to pick something up. And of course, she was nothing but supportive (and not very surprised TBH). My takeaway? Worrying is such a wasted emotion…not that we can control ourselves!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Ah, careful sharing, the wrong group people can definitely affect a person, from discouraging them to downright leading to a depression episode. I had to learn that lesson the hard way. It can feel so disloyal to not share with certain people, but ultimately our mental health is much more important.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. An important point. I really like how Michelle segmented out her audiences and pointed out that we need to remember that we are the priority when having these conversation.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Absolutely yes! This is a great message to get out there, we tend to sacrifice our own mental health, thinking we “owe” it to people, and then we struggle to put ourselves back together.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Always a pleasure Michelle! Bravo for a well written and well thought out piece!

        Liked by 1 person

  25. A very relevant podcast with great insight and advice. I recall having to let people know about the death of my 19 year old brother as my parents just couldn’t do it. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I also remember my very good friend telling me she had terminal cancer, how hard that must have been for her. Michelle’s suggestion to offer assistance and to simply listen is perfect. I will remember that in the future. Thank you Wynne for this interview. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  26. The podcase snippet is a great reminder to reframe our thinking about asking for help. I often tell my students and clients to think of it as giving the other person a gift. They want to help you, and you are giving them the opportunity to do so by speaking up and being vulnerable.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Excellent post, Wynne. As a reserved person, I find sharing life’s challenges with anyone other than my immediate family and a very few friends very uncomfortable. I agree that there are advantages of sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Fantastic conversation full of great wisdom, Wynne and Michelle!

    I can only imagine what was going through your mind when you received your diagnosis and for better or for worse, I’m glad you were able to receive surgery so quickly after diagnosis.

    My biggest takeaway was highlighting the difference between sharing hard news personally and professionally – and how these contextualizes the focus on the self. Very wise!

    Hard news is always best processed together with loved ones – and how fortunate we are when we have those networks to share our struggles with. 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a great comment, Ab. I love all the notes you pick up on. So insightful — and helpful! You are so right – how fortunate we are to have those networks to share struggles with! Thanks, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

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