The Art of Staying Flexible

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“Blessed are the flexible, for they should not be bent out of shape.” – unknown

The holiday season is over. I swear the collective sigh of relief that we can all get back to our routine is so big as to be palpable.

My dear friend, Katie, whose amazing daughters are grown, came over the other day and we were talking about the highs and lows of this season. The magic, the expectations, the busy-ness, the boredom of the down time, the togetherness. It’s not like the gift of the season comes in a neat package. It’s more like a gift basket put together by a five-year-old and there are some pokey and slimey things in the mix.

When I went to my annual physical with my doctor in early December, I asked her about her sons. She answered that her younger son was home from college on the east coast from Thanksgiving through Christmas. She smiled when she said it was nice, but she was getting a little tired of crumbs on the counter. We had a good chuckle about that.

For me, I wrestle with being flexible enough to go on adventures, to throw the ball around, or to play a game. Often it feels more comfortable to cling to things I need to do. Who am I if I leave dishes in the sink, the crumbs on the table, close my laptop, and start chasing butterflies?

But I’m always rewarded when I set what I’m doing down and participate in the play. I benefit from the magic when the kids share their perspective and fun. Longevity and healthspan expert, Dr. Peter Attia lists socializing as one of the ways to stave off dementia. The complexity of what we do when we interact with others helps to keep our brains well.

So, for everyone who is sipping a cup of tea or coffee and celebrating this week of getting back to normal, please give yourself a pat on the back too. Reading a book given to you that might not be your genre, drinking from a new mug, navigating niceties, trying out the new gadget – all of it helps keep us flexible.

(featured photo is mine – I love the light and dark captured together)

78 thoughts on “The Art of Staying Flexible”

  1. Is writing a 21st century set of beatitudes count as play? Or maybe thought, contemplation, or prayer? You’ve offered a start, Wynne. With no disrespect intended to the author of Matthew.

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  2. Oooh I love your photo too Wynne. A mixture of light and dark – representing life itself.
    You’re so right about trying to stay flexible which for me proves to be increasingly difficult the older I become! The answer being to keep on trying 😊

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  5. I don’t know how it was for your kids this morning but this morning was harder for us after two weeks of waking up after 10 am. 😆 Let’s hope the rest of the week flies by.

    The art of flexibility is so important in life and more so during the holidays. I think I read a similar article over the break about social connection – and diet and exercise and sleep – as being important in minimizing risks for dementia.

    Happy new year and best wishes to you three this week!

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    1. It was harder for us too! It felt like everything was a little rusty! From what I’ve read – exercise, diet and sleep were also on the list. Seems like the basics – but apparently essential!

      I hope you all have a great week!

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  6. I can clean the crumbs. I don’t even mind.

    I can’t even figure out what I want to sip on this morning, aside from water. My “normal” is a yet another new one, and I’m not sure what that even looks like quite yet. A new semester of learning along with the nostalgia of all that has happened over the last month or so. Right now, I’m feeling very *not* ready for normal. I miss the (muted) chaos and the unordinary.

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  7. The photo is beautiful! Being flexible is how I live my life now. I never knew how freeing and peaceful it would make my life, and I still get things done.😊 Wishing you and your two a wonderful week!💕

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  8. I really like your description of the holidays as “a gift basket put together by a five-year-old.” The colorful variety of stuff that could in there. And you make a great point of being flexible. It helps! 🌞

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  11. It’s actually very healthy to be able to acknowledge the downsides that even the best of holiday seasons inevitably bring. Another Christmas week in the bag! I love your starting quote. 🤗

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  12. I had to giggle when you mentioned drinking from a new mug because we were gifted six new mugs for Christmas with nowhere to put them. Because four were Christmassy, they (along with last year’s Christmassy mug) are now stowed with the Christmassy things. And I made a home for the others two. Sometimes I don’t feel very flexible when it comes to being gifted things for my already overflowing kitchen, and then I adjust and figure it out. Glad to hear you’re back into your routine – I remember the days of school vacations and being thrown out of my routine.

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    1. I’m laughing, Susan! Isn’t that funny about the mugs? I mentioned that because Miss O gave me a mug for Christmas and it’s precious – but not as big as my favorite mug. I’m trying to be flexible and use it… 🙂

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  13. Love this…take our time as we return to whatever a ‘normal’ week is like. A friend told me this morning that she’s still living ‘out of pocket’ — off her regular schedule — because she decided she needed to change things up a little…thinking she was too entrenched going into holiday time. I think your invitation to be flexible, stay open is a good reminder. And a pat on the back! Thanks, Wynne! 🥰

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  14. Yes, I am relieved to get back to normal, too. I was so looking forward to time with my kids and Christmas. But it was so much work getting ready for them and mailing out 90 boxes of Frangos to my husband’s clients! Big sigh of relief here.

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  15. Great post, Wynne, and yes to staying flexible. It’s so rewarding when we step out of our routines and join the play. This weekend, I played Marvel Zombies: A Zombicide Board Game with my son and my wife, and it definitely stretched my brain a bit. I didn’t want to play at first, but I’m glad I did—it was fun, even though we were defeated by the zombies. Hopefully, it helps me stave off dementia!

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    1. That’s so interesting about the board game. Oh yes, I totally hear you about overcoming that initial reluctance. But I think there’s lots of upside – including healthy brains, I hope! 🙂 Happy New Year, my friend!

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  18. Got to test my physical flexibility today with 2 hours spent cleaning of and digging out my car! Took a hot shower after and slathered on sore muscle stuff!

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      1. Ah, the joys of apartment life. I’m lucky, a young neighbor helped me finish off the last bit, so that’s good!

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  19. So much to unpack with this post, Wynne. Flexibility serves us well. Those who are rigid are more prone to health issues and not finding peace in their lives.

    I think being an adult means being responsible while also not being afraid to have fun and get silly once in a while.

    Holidays mean something different for everyone. I’ll never forget one of the children who was sad on the last day before the winter break. When I asked her what was wrong she said, “I’m happiest when I’m at school.” That could mean anything, but it reminded me that not every child has a great home situation.

    You’re always great to make time for your kids. That’s clearly the most important thing any parent can do.

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  20. Couple of thoughts….first, I am the crumb maker…I try, I really do try. 🙂 Secondly, this past year was marked with some major challenges (dad’s passing, sister battling cancer) While neither one is fresh any more, for me, they caused me to savor the times we had with extended family. I think I was cherishing life more. (I”m not depressed, far from it) It’s just that I was more aware of the transitory and fragile nature of life….I think that’s one of the spin off “gifts” when we experience loss, it has the potential to make a person cherish certain things more.

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    1. Oh, this is such a beautiful perspective and reminder, Doug. The Buddhists especially urge us to think about death for exactly what you illustrate here – it reminds us how precious life us. Thank you for the beautiful comment, crumbs and all.

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  24. The end of the holiday season always brings such mixed emotions: part relief that it’s over, things are put away, and the house is back in order; and part nostalgia for a time period that just passed. Within days I miss the festive music and decorations and find myself planning out next year’s celebration. Guess that’s why they call it the most wonderful time of the year.

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  26. Having a routine you enjoy and are comfortable with is excellent. Having the chance to be free of that routine, celebrating the holidays with people we love is even more excellent. But each exists with just enough downside to remind us of the other’s value.

    But if I had to pick one… I’m going with holiday fun and chaos 😁

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      1. Hahah thanks Wynne! 😁 My daughter Ally recently called me a part time agent of chaos- that surprised me because I think of myself more as curious, adventurous to a degree and go-with-the-flow. But since then I’ve come to realize that my (qualified) comfort with chaos tends to result more in a preference for it (at times).

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  27. Wynne honey, thanks for the reminder to remain flexible as needed. It can certainly add days to your life, because events like the holidays for example seem to have become more laborious than celebratory. 😝 You don’t realize how exhausted the holiday activities can zap your energy. 🥵 Great share my friend. 😊💖🥰

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  29. I was Gumby during the holidays this year. I have adult children who do not parent like I did, I have a pregnant daughter that thinks she is the first to create life, I have a grown son who is as introverted as me, another who lives across the world, and a husband who likes to leave every job “almost done.” Rant complete. I also have children that I’m so proud of it makes me cry, I have new life coming into our lives, a boy who I will love with all my heart and haven’t yet met, I have two sons that are like the sun to me, and a husband that loves me even when I am unloveable. Life is so good, and I agree, we have to stay flexible or we miss all the good stuff. Love you Wynne, C

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    1. Oh, you captured the range soooo well, Cheryl! I’m particularly giggling over the daughter who thinks she’s the first to create life because we ALL felt that way, didn’t we? Life is so good so here’s to staying flexible and tuned in to it! XOXO my fellow Gumby!

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      1. Thank you, Wynne.
        The reason I said without compromising, Wynne is because I used to be flexible even if it meant inconveniencing my family or myself. When I realized that I was taken for granted and was physically and emotionally drained, I stopped bending over backwards.
        Have a great weekend.
        My love to you and the little ones.

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  31. I often tell individuals from October 31 through January 3 we all enter a alternative universe, and to give themselves and others plenty of grace because as you so wonderful said, the holidays “ It’s more like a gift basket put together by a five-year-old and there are some pokey and slimey things in the mix.” I will definitely be borrowing that line in 2025.

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