The Preciousness of Life

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“Our life experiences will have resonances within our innermost being, so that we will feel the rapture of being alive.” – Joseph Campbell

The morning after a really rough night’s sleep, I was sipping tea and realized I didn’t like the mug. It was scratchy to my lip and it made my tea taste different. We were staying at a friend’s house on the Washington Peninsula so all the mugs were new to me.

Because I hadn’t slept well, I was more attuned to it. After a dozen sips, I forced myself to go the kitchen and change mugs. The smoothness of the new one made me realize how many sensations go into feeling soothing.

I hadn’t slept well because I realized in the middle of the night that I hadn’t refilled the water reservoir for Rusty the gecko before we’d left home for three nights. I sat up with a pit of dread knowing that without the water misting twice a day to keep his enclosure humid, he’d likely die. The questions swirling of when I last did it and how long he could survive sent me shooting out of bed.

It was our last night of this mini-getaway. It was 3am I was two hours and a ferry ride away from home. There was nothing I could do to help poor Rusty in that moment.

Instead I sat until I unraveled the knot of feelings in my gut. I felt the weight of all the responsibility I carry for keeping things alive. I sensed the thread of how tenuous life can be. I even worked my way to compassion for myself for making mistakes.

I finally went back to sleep feeling how dang precarious this thing called life is.

So when I awoke, I needed that soothing cup of tea. I wonder how often we forget that our time here is limited. Speaking for myself, when I lean in to the knowledge that life ends, it spurs me on to pay attention and drink out of the right cup. To take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others.

There’s a happy end to this story. I emailed my mom and she checked on Rusty. He was out of water – but she refilled it and misted him. He made it. So one other thing – thank goodness for moms!

61 thoughts on “The Preciousness of Life”

  1. I so get the mug thing. my friend and I were recently having a discussion about how each person has their favorite mugs, ones that feel comfortable and right for them, whatever the reason. we’re not always aware of it when busy, but when we have time to focus, we realize it, just as you did. I also have a gecko in my family that I care for a times for my grandsons. you solved the problem, found the right mug and will now be able to rest easy. (ps – I wrote a post about what happened once when I was caring for pretzel the zebra gecko, near death experience and he survived. not my fault, but a crazy set of circumstances and I still felt responsible.)

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  2. I held my breath hoping for a happy ending, and I’m so glad there was one. I understand the mug thing. I need my mug to be pottery not china. I have trouble drinking tea or coffee from a china mug. (Who knows why?)

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  3. I’m glad that Rusty is ok! Those middle of the night moments are truly the worst, especially when you can’t do anything about it at the moment.

    Thinking about your other post related to gratitude, thank goodness for the people in our community who help roughen the edges and bring us the soothe!

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  6. Glad it worked out, Wynne. I am also glad you brought mortality up. The Stoics knew that one cannot live a well-lived life without being mindful of this. I hope you bring it up from time to time.

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  7. Love that you were able to acknowledge the sensory ‘oof’…and realize you needed to switch out that darn mug. Funny how long we can stick with the prickly stuff before we make the adjustments. Thank you, Wynne (and as others have said, cheers to your mom for tending to dear Rusty!). 🥰

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  8. Oh I love how you wove this story into “and the moral of the story is…” Wynne. As I get older, I too lean into what I put in my spirit to embrace the gift of life everyday. 🤗💖🥰

    Love this: “…when I lean in to the knowledge that life ends, it spurs me on to pay attention and drink out of the right cup.” YES!!! 🙌🏼☕😊

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  10. Hard to let go of the hypervigilance. “leaning” into the things that nurture us is a wonderful lesson. I need to do this more consciously, for sure.

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  11. I’m glad things worked out for you and Rusty. It’s annoying how our brains remember these things in the wee small hours.
    I relate to your story about rough cup. Things are more multifaceted than we often realize.

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  14. Oh Vicky, thais is so touching and I know the feeling well ow restless sleep when one of my babies could be in jeopardy, and that includes plants, that usually die. I’m the worst.
    I love your discernment of the mug and I’m soooo picky about what drink out of as well.,
    💕love this line so thoughtful and caring!
    “I sensed the thread of how tenuous life can be. I even worked my way to compassion for myself for making mistakes.”
    Thank goodness Rusty survived! And yes, thank goodness for mom’s.
    We lost our potbelly pig, Jewels, to accidental neglect and it still is buried deep and hard to release 😢

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    2. Funny – I’m not sure I would have even noticed the name thing. Vicki, Wynne, Cindy — it’s a mouthful! And the best compliment to be confused with either of you.

      I’m so sorry to hear about Jewels! That’s so hard!

      Your affirmation that the restless sleep when one of our babies is in jeopardy that is common to parents is so good. Yes, our minds follow that thread!

      Thanks for the rich comment, Cindy!

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      1. Hahahaha, it just blurted out and a good laugh at that and I ditto your sentiments “And the best compliment to be confused with either of you.”

        Thank you so much. It’s been hard and I keep wanting to get another one but you know you can’t replace what once was. Besides, she was a handful.

        It’s so true. Our children are out biggest joy and our biggest heartache. For me anyway.
        You’re welcome. It’s always a pleasure to read you and really fun to hang out with you today💓

        Like

  15. Rusty—a comeback story. 😊 How many times do our parents bail us out, even when we’re adults? There’s something about human nature that stops us from thinking too much about our mortality until someone close to us passes or has a near-death experience.

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  19. Memento mori. Latin, for “remember you will die.” I like many of us, it’s something I ponder more in these latter years and influences how I relate to people and many of the choices I make. And yes. Reminds me to drink out of the right cup.

    P.S. Glad Rusty is well!

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  21. Oh I love this Wynne. All the feels for carrying the weight. And therefore we must look after ourselves. Changing cups was the absolute right thing to do. You’re quite the amazing woman and mom. Yes, thank goodness for moms. Glad Rusty is fine too.
    Beautiful post and such an inspiring reminder to love ourselves too in this tenuous thing called life. 💕

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  23. Thank you so much for posting this. I feel validated! When Tara’s cousin was visiting a few weeks ago, she told him I was weird about mugs, buying (what she deemed) too many and carefully selecting one every morning based on mood and other factors. I explained to them both that each mug has a different mouth feel (this was the point where they both looked at me rather oddly, but I soldiered on), and everything from the size and shape to the lip and handle can affect your enjoyment of the beverage. I don’t know that they were convinced, but at least you get me.

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  24. I’m so happy Rusty is okay! I hope you’ve caught up on your sleep. There is so much going on in life, that those small moments of comfort can make all the difference. Take good care of yourself, Wynne!

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  25. I feel you! And ugh. I’m glad things worked out with Rusty and that you decided to pour your tea into a better mug. Speaking of tea, my daily motto since the election has been, “Drink tea and carry on.” So far it’s been an assortment including red dragon rooibos chai, sweet tulsi rose, lady grey, white peony, and Moroccan mint. Here’s to taking care of ourselves so we can take care of others!

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  26. Wow, what a night. I’m sorry you were so distressed; I can relate to those middle-of-the-night alarms that keep you from going back to sleep. And the frustrations of not being able to fix a problem right away.

    “it spurs me on to pay attention and drink out of the right cup.” I smiled when I read that because I, too, require the right cup for the mood that I am in. Or the right throw blanket. Or the right scented candle. Or the right whatever. I hadn’t really thought of that as self-care. I assumed that I was being entitled/picky/stubborn, etc. Thanks for giving me a different perspective!

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