The Do-Overs

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“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” – Marianne Williamson

Funny how life sometimes provides a do-over.

Last spring I was talking to a mom whose oldest child was a pandemic virtual Kindergartner with Miss O. At the time of the conversation, her second child was just finishing Kindergarten. The Mom said to me, “I had no idea how healing it would be to have a normal Kindergarten year.”

I nodded and noted it, knowing that I didn’t really get it.

But now that Mr. D has been in Kindergarten for almost two months, I’m finding she was spot on. The field trips, waffle parties, recess, and gym class. All sorts of things that Miss O’s class couldn’t do. And all the learning – the ABC chant, the letters and numbers – I get to hear about but without having to sit alongside.

I wouldn’t have said that I needed to heal. I was surprised to find this do-over feels like balm for my nervous system; an edit to a storyline I wasn’t even aware had been written.

It feels like I’ve put down the weight of having to be a teaching assistant on top of everything else. There’s delineation between weekdays and weekends. I’m watching things happen like the socialization of five-year-olds without my facilitation. I’m able to take a big step back and breathe out what I didn’t even know I was carrying.

It makes me think of other do-overs that I’ve been able to do. My second attempt at climbing Mt. Rainier when I summitted after having to turn around on my first attempt. Falling in love again after a heart break. Re-doing a crochet project after unraveling a crooked line.

I also can think of do-overs that haven’t been so fun – colonoscopies come to mind. But my friend’s statement reminds me that each time, for better or for worse, is a chance to re-write the script. Seems like a good thing to remember, especially on a Monday.

(featured photo from Pexels)

47 thoughts on “The Do-Overs”

  1. I love this analogy of the do-over. It’s true, life gives us many opportunities, not everything is just once in a lifetime, and if it is, I’ve been trying to approach it in a much more relaxed state to be able to enjoy it more.

    Your thoughts on kindergarten made me think how homeschooling robs the kids of the very needed socialization and interaction with other little humans that kids need. No matter how good of a teacher mom (or dad) is, they cannot replace the millions of tiny lessons their kids will receive from interacting with other kids and adults during their school years. That’s just as important as academics.

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  3. Whoa my goodness. Perspective right here: “I’m able to take a big step back and breathe out what I didn’t even know I was carrying.” Love the insight, Wyne. And I agree – what a Monday message. I’ll take it! 🥰

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  5. I’d be interested to know what Marianne Williamson means by “living fully in the present.”

    My perspective, and Wynne I think you illustrated this in your writing, is that living fully in the now sometimes requires reclaiming or reintegrating some broken, misplaced, hurt, or lost part of me from the past.

    It is exactly that being “able to take a big step back and breathe out what I didn’t even know I was carrying” which helps me live more fully in the present.

    I’m a huge fan of the do-over!

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    1. Re-integrating parts from the past – so well said! We can’t go anywhere without it, right? 🙂 I totally agree that is essential to living in the present. Always surprises me what baggage I’m carrying and how good it feels to put down. 🙂

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  7. I completely agree with your reflection on healing experiences. It’s amazing how much difference a fresh perspective can make. Your experience with Mr. D’s Kindergarten is a perfect example of how we sometimes overlook the underlying weight we’ve been carrying. It truly is revitalizing to just watch things unfold without the added pressure of facilitating every moment.

    Your thoughts on do-overs really resonate with me. Life does have a way of giving us those second chances, both joyful and challenging. It’s comforting to remember that each experience, good or bad, is another opportunity to rewrite our personal narratives.

    Thanks for sharing such a meaningful insight!

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  9. Such an important – and encouraging – thought, not just the value of do-overs but the reminder that’s they’re possible and that they’re there, waiting to be discovered and embraced.

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  10. Wow. That is so interesting that your daughter missed in-school Kindergarten and your son gets to experience it. I love this: “I’m watching things happen like the socialization of five-year-olds without my facilitation. I’m able to take a big step back and breathe out what I didn’t even know I was carrying.” I felt so sorry for kids in high school who missed prom, graduation and so many milestones. I hadn’t given thought to the young ones.

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      1. I don’t think being homeschooled with outside teachers is a bad thing. I did that with my daughter for all of middle school! But it must be nice for you to see your son having fun with all the extra stuff you get in school.

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  11. Some events are like the difference between being at a wonderful concert in a good seat and listening to it on the radio. Glad you got the proper do-over, Wynne!

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  12. One of the blessings of life are the do overs and more often than not, we do get these opportunities! 🙏

    I only had one kindergarten with T and I still have trauma from those pandemic kindergarten years. 😂 I’m glad you got that do over with Mr D. Our Grade 1 thankfully made up for it and boy was it a joy to get back to a sense of normalcy.

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    1. I can understand that trauma, Ab! Glad grade 1 made up for it. I think we are left with a whole lot of gratitude for in-person school, right? Happy Monday!

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  14. I love Marianne Williamson’s quote Wynne. 🤗 I also love how you have gallantly embraced the art of healing without losing your mind. 😜 Your kids seem to remind you of new discoveries, even when you have to take a step back. Good thoughts my friend. 🥰💖😘🙏🏼😊

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  15. Excellent, Wynne. Do-overs are great for noticing things we missed the first time and for helping us grow, and I agree with you, some are not fun at all. Colonoscopies are one, but I’d add differential equations and physical chemistry to the list. I had to do a couple of do-overs on those, and my summers were pretty sad in those days. 🤦🏻‍♂️

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  16. Resilience is an often underappreciated quality in humans.

    I felt so bad for senior classes who had to miss out on those special 12th grade moments. After they had virtually everything canceled that year, I tried to organize a banquet with my old third-grade class to celebrate them, but I reluctantly had to pull the plug when COVID took off. Two of my former students were able to track down all of students from that class but one. It would have been a special night. Sadly, I had to email them a letter wishing them well instead.

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  19. It’s interesting to hear the parental perspective on school/no school during Covid. I’d be interested to read more about what it was like trying to work and co-teach at home during the pandemic.

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    1. Oh, three-ring circus comes to mind. It was ridiculously hard. Classes (for 5-yr-olds) were like 45 minutes on and then 30 minutes off and then the schedule changed throughout the week. We went to school to pick up supplies for them to have for every 2 week periods and then had to keep those organized so that Miss O could find them when the teacher held them up.)

      Some of the things I heard from the class as we held remote sessions,

      “Ms Richards, can I go to the bathroom?”

      “Ms. Richards, where is my pencil?”

      I bet you have an interesting perspective as an educator. Did you hold remote music classes?

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  20. Where is my pencil! via Zoom 😂😂😂
    I retired from teaching the year before Covid hit, so I don’t have any experience with how the whole remote learning thing went. my wife does, but she was teaching fourth grade, which, as you know is a whole different world from the younger kids. But, I do know that teaching the young ones live and in person was plenty challenging for me – I can’t imagine what it would be like in your shoes during Covid or even trying to be the teacher on the other end of the camera.

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    1. Ah, the colonoscopy. Not a do-over we like but at least we know what to expect. And it seems like the staff has a good sense of humor about it all, right? Good luck, Cindy!

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