The Feeling of Community

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“The deep irony, in order to be social, we first have to be individual.” – Nicholas Christakis

This was originally published on 2/16/2022. Heads up – you may have already read this.

When I was climbing mountains, I’d regularly sign up for a guided climbing trips, sometimes with a friend and sometimes by myself. It was a great way to travel and also get to climb a mountain or two. Typically we’d all converge in a meeting place and do the initial meet and greet and then go from there.

The groups of people that would come together were always interesting. I’m thinking about a particular climb of two volcanoes in Mexico. We all flew to Mexico City where we met our guides and fellow climbers before riding in a van to the base of Mt. Ixtacchuatl for our first climb.

The group was mostly Americans but otherwise there wasn’t an easily defined demographic, not gender, education level, personality type other than love of mountains.  On this particular trip, there were very outgoing people like my friend, Jill, and man named Trent who loved to talk and help anyone with anything. Most of the group was like Paul from Greenfield, NY who was really nice to talk to but more reserved about initiating conversations. There was our guide, Phil, who like to just spit out wisdom or quips in one line but not talk endlessly (e.g. “Watch out Jill, that guy has more moves than an earthquake.”)

As we went around doing introductions, one man named John stated very clearly, “I don’t like people. I’m just here to climb the mountains.”  Which was fine because that’s what we were there to do.

We summitted the first mountain, Mt Ixtacchuatl (17,338 feet) on October 31 and then headed down to celebrate the Day of the Dead in Puebla. After a day of rest, we started up our second mountain, Mt. Orizaba (18,491 feet).

After being dropped by trucks on the mountain, we spent the evening in a hut. At this point, we’d been together as a group for about 5 days and we were having a great time and working together pretty well as a team. The guy that didn’t like people was a very good climber and mostly stayed to himself, grabbing his share of dinner and finding a quiet place to eat it.

Around midnight, we got up from the few hours of rest we’d gotten and started preparing for our summit attempt in the dark using the light of our headlamps. We climbed steadily in the dark for about 6 hours until we reached an exposed couloir. We paused as the guides tried to get some ice screws deep enough into the fractious ice to secure our trip across the steep gully. Eventually we realized that the conditions wouldn’t allow us to cross safely over that part of the mountain and our summit bid had ended.

As we sat on the mountain watching the sun come up in no hurry to get anywhere, John, the climber who didn’t like people, pulled off his boot and found a Payday bar. He’d put the candy bar in his boot while preparing in the dark and then forgotten to take out. After being climbed on for 6 hours, it was shaped like an orthodic. He pulled it out, showed it around and we all had a good laugh alongside him as we imagined the journey of that candy bar. Even John enjoyed for that moment being part of a group that understood the crazy things that happen on a climb.

That particular event created an idea of community for me. One where we don’t have to all be best friends or come out of our comfort zones but can still enjoy the camaraderie of a shared experience focused on a common interest.

(featured photo is mine of the group leaving the top of Mt. Ixtacchuatl)

43 thoughts on “The Feeling of Community”

    2. I am friends with a “loner.” I’ve heard him (and his daughter) verbalize that same thing. “I don’t like people.” At yet, when it is just he and I, he does talk…. I have no desire to figure that stuff out, but guessing it’s a trust issue. Easier to keep people @ arms length

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  2. Your description of this event had me chuckling, climbing along with you, envisioning each and every experience along the way, and thinking, “Better you than me!” What an adventure—and what an ability you have to tell an engaging story. Did anyone ask for a bit of the orthotic candy bar?

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    1. Hey…that’s what I wanted to know, Julia! I love reading about Wynne’s mountain climbing adventures – of course – but the vision of a Payday bar/orthotic was too funny! 😜

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    2. Oh, thank you, dear Julia. What a great question about the candy bar? I don’t think anyone at it…but had we spent a few more hours on the mountain, I’m pretty sure we all would have been willing to! 🙂

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  3. Wow, John really started out by saying he didn’t like people. Don’t you need others when you climb? Even just someone to keep tabs on you to make you haven’t fallen off the face of the earth! ha ha. I’m with you, I consider myself pretty self-sustaining but even I need a community to keep me going! 😎😎😎

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    1. Great point about needing others to climb, Brian. Yep, usually so. I suspect that was why he was hanging out with us, even if unwillingly! 🙂 So glad you are part of my community, my friend!

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  5. Great post, Wynne, and thank you for sharing it again with your new followers (like me). This last thing you said, “we don’t have to all be best friends or come out of our comfort zones but can still enjoy the camaraderie of a shared experience focused on a common interest,” is so important. It’s about building community, caring for, and respecting each other.

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      1. You’re welcome. I really appreciate it when you republish your past posts because it provides new readers like me with the opportunity to read and enjoy your great writings. It’s hard to go back and read years’ worth of posts, so thank you for doing that.

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      2. Oh, what great feedback. You’re right – that task has been overwhelming to me when I’m new to someone who has blogged for a long time. In most cases, I’m consolidating my posts that I wrote for a shared blog onto my blog but I’ll think about reblogging the ones on this blog too. Thank you!

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  6. A community working together on a difficult project. Being a teammate. One can go back to baseball double-play combinations or members of a great symphony orchestra sitting side by side, making beautiful music, and not talking for a decade. Community and cooperation are essential, as you describe Wynn, like it or not.

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  10. That quote is wonderful and truly answers the secret to any great relationship – first we have to be individual. Esoterica perfectly says what I was going to say.

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  11. I love that sense of community where people are focused on their common interest or goal and not on the differences between them. Lovely tale, Wynne! 💞💞💞

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  12. Reading this post again made me appreciate that everyone in a community is different. Some are naturally outgoing and gravitate towards connection and some are like John, and prefer to be alone. But everyone plays a part in the community.

    And I bet that Payday chocolate bar tasted really darn good after that six hour climb!

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  13. Pingback: The Feeling of Community – WORLD_EXPLORER

  14. in order to be social we need to be individual…the overlapping of these two is so debatable. is individuality lost in the process of becoming social or is the social something that cannot be escaped…thanks for this post!

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