What if we could astound ourselves?

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“If we did all the things we are really capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” – Thomas Edison

I used to work with someone in IT consulting who had a policy of a four hour minimum. Anytime a client would ask him a question, he’d bill at least four hours. He had reasoning to back it up – that switching tasks was time consuming for him and that he wanted clients to think before contacting him or declaring everything to be an emergency.

He came from a family where his father was very successful, monetarily speaking. And my colleague has also raised sons who seem already poised for financial success.

What stands out for me about this colleague is that he had a healthy amount of self regard – more than most people that I’ve met. Speaking for myself, I was raised in a family where humility was a guiding principle. And I’m grateful that it was.

But WHAT IF we could all be audacious for just a minute? What would you say about your skills, talents, and what makes you special and unique if for a brief period of time you could see them without your humble glasses on? What would you say about yourself if you were your best cheerleader?

Would you remark on your ability to do hard things? Or the talent you have for putting others at ease? Could you commend yourself for all the skills you’ve honed with years of practice and patience? Is there any chance you would see your gifts as ones bestowed upon you by God or whomever else you believe gave you them?

AND if, for just a moment we could do that, would we step into bigger roles and bring our talents to bear for others in a way that we aren’t doing?

There is something to be said for being audacious. It doesn’t have to be only for our financial and personal success. It might mean we would use our talent to its fullest extent.  

What if we could set aside our self-limiting beliefs?

62 thoughts on “What if we could astound ourselves?”

  1. We have a family member just like this. It always takes me aback. I think a healthy helping of humility makes us more humane. I’d rather be compassionate than delusional. Lol

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  3. Interesting concept! I feel like I’m sort of an internal Jeckyll and Hyde already, sometimes bouncing back and forth between being strongly confident, and realizing that I also “ain’t all that.” I’m like a yo-yo in that way. But no matter what my intentions might be, I feel like humility helps me to be more aware, more understanding, and a better decision maker than I otherwise would be.

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  4. Such an interesting thought, Wynne. I tend to lean more toward quiet humility than boastful self-promotion. This week I had a chance to do a presentation at work with one of our salespeople. He once told me “Clients and consultants love you because you’re knowledgeable, confident but “not salesy.” The “not salesy” piece was one of the best compliments I ever got. 😂

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  5. I agree that awareness of our own worth is important, Wynne. What that worth is depends on when we measure it and what our life has been up to that moment. In that sense, every answer, at best, is true for the time being, perhaps including a point from which audacity is set aside. Cheers to those young enough to be audacious, including you, Wynne!

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  6. Such an interesting post, Wynne. You make a compelling point about not limiting yourself, and I don’t disagree. It’s just that I can’t get past the attitude of the colleague in your initial example. I agree with VJ. I’d be more comfortable concentrating on integrity, humility, and compassion to be the best I can be rather than being audacious. I’m afraid your former colleague just comes across as someone I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with, interested only in himself and his money.

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  7. Excellent points, Wynne. Humility is an admired virtue for those who don’t subscribe to the self-absorbed lifestyle. Each day, I become more convinced humility is the bedrock trait worthy of honing. Yet when your Source of confidence empowers you to ask for more than you can hope or imagine, that’s worthy, too. As others pointed out, achieving a balance of the two goals might just top the priority list.

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  8. I love this…such a conundrum for me. I know a few folks who value their time so highly that they also “pad” their billable hours in the way you described your former colleague’s behavior and it annoys the crap out of me because it feels like stealing…and yet their responses are the same: I’m channel switching and making myself available. Absolutely valuing his/her time beyond the actual time-on-task. But I’m with you…humility rules my world as a more primary characteristic but I can see the self-limiting side. 😉

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    1. Totally aligned – I never agreed with the time padding either. To be fair, at least my former colleague was up front about his policy. Here’s to balance the humility with astonishment! 🙂 ❤ ❤

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  10. So often I have seem to value their time so much that they actually waste more time when they acn be doing more productive things. Being raise a beat cops kid in the 1960’s you learn humility real quick. I am also a person who loves doing things for others but I would prefer not to have me “fingers” on those things.

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  11. I am going to start a slight tangent here with this one Wynne and simply mention that it is often encouraged in our society that men be out-there in how they present themselves. It is expected. Females on the other hand…well we have our place and it is not to sell ourselves or appear to value our own self-worth. It is not socially acceptable. That needs to be changed. I hope you understand my socially acceptable, toned down POV 🙂

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    1. Oh, that’s so insightful, Deb. I hadn’t thought of it as a gender thing but yes, that resonates with me. The “demureness” factor. Thank you for adding this to the conversation!

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  12. Fantastic questions, Wynne! I think of these types of questions, as I watch other successful people who seem to easily believe in themselves and do the things they dream of doing. What if I could find my true talent and be successful? What if I didn’t have to contend with circumstances and roadblocks that hold me back? Am I being humble and grateful for the small bits I’m fortunate to have? Or am I untalented, or lack the ability to find my innate talent, so I have to ‘settle’ for the meagerness in front of me? Am I doomed to ‘work harder, not smarter’ all of my years? I’d love to find and be my Audacious self for the rest of my life. ❤️

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  13. I can relate a little bit concerning self-worth. I just raised my freelance writing fees this year for the first time ever, even though I knew years ago I was vastly undercharging for my services. Humility is inbred in a lot of us.

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    1. I think there is being reasonably humble and then there is allowing ourselves to be undervalued across many settings in professional and personal life. Sometimes verging on being taken for granted…As a female I have both experienced and been taught how to behave. It does not suit me at all 🙂

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    2. Wuhoo to raising your rates. I can totally relate. I didn’t raise my rates in many years of having my own business. I could always find reasons not to. Here’s to balancing humility with worth!

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  14. What a great topic, Wynne. It’s a fine line, isn’t it? I was brought up to be humble and my parents are self-sacrificing to a fault. When I interviewed for my current job ~2 years ago, I asked for a much higher salary than I felt worthy of (but at the lower end of their range) and I got it, and it’s made me completely reevaluate things. Assuming both parties feels the interaction is fair and value is being gained, I’m a lot more comfortable now asking for more (and being willing to pay/offer more to others).

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    1. I think I mentioned this before but I remember the first time I asked for a raise in my then professional setting. I got it without question and it was the most empowering feeling. Never hesitated from that point on and it was a very male dominated profession.

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  15. I think billing for four hours is a bit much, if it only took one hour. You’ve asked some great questions about audacity, but I think your growing up with the value of humility is valuable.

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  17. Years ago the publisher of my illustrated children’s book in Finland (now out of print) suggested that I write down my philosophical thoughts for a book. When I returned to the US, I shared this with a colleague (who happened to be the 4th psychic to approach me) and she said that I absolutely must do this, that “my books would help a lot of people”. This absolutely astounded me. I had difficulty thinking that my thoughts were special enough to be shared with others, and to get this green light seemed a little overwhelming. Indeed, when I first started, I was jotting my thoughts down in the teeniest notebooks I could find, for I wasn’t sure I could fill up even one of those tiny things! Getting permission from people to write is incredible, and mostly it is the permission we give ourselves to listen to them!

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      1. It was so transformative for me! I have passed this on to others when I see a talent!

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  21. I like your reasoning here. You’re right that some of us forget to be our own cheerleader, having been socialized to not draw attention to ourselves.

    In answer to your last question: What if we could set aside our self-limiting beliefs?. My answer would be: we write personal blogs in which we share ourselves with the world. 🤓

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  22. This is an interest post, Wynne. Like you, I was raised in the typical Asian culture of humility. But there is something to be said about knowing your worth and demanding others know and respect your worth too. I don’t necessarily see that as the opposite of humility and modesty, but rather setting healthy boundaries with your time and energy. I could learn more from this colleague! 😆😊

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    1. I like how you often add a wonderful twist to the premise, Ab. You are so incredibly talented and thoughtful and I like your perspective that this is about setting healthy boundaries with time and energy! Cheers to that!

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  25. What a fascinating exercise! And I love this word choice: he had a healthy amount of self regard. Ha! What a kind way of putting it. I don’t know what I would say about myself. The book, Personality Plus, said introverts (the melancholics and phlegmatics) have a tendency to underrepresent their skills and talents, while the extroverts (sanguine, choleric) tend toward the opposite. Though I’m an introvert, I think I overrepped my JJ skills. 😛 I asked my sensei how I did in TKD, he said, “You didn’t quit and you didn’t complain.” Haha. I’m not a natural-born athlete, clearly, but I can stick things out, I guess. 🙂

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  27. I knew someone who set very difficult and nearly unachievable goals for her business. Unfortunately she failed and closed her business. I think that you should “fly down” so if you fall it won’t hurt too much. But I am sure that this is not the approach of the most successful people…

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  28. I tend to devalue my contributions. I know that I get things done, but I always think that others could do it quicker or more economically or with less hassle, etc. You’ve presented a very difficult question. I’m curious to see if I could go there–not sure I can!

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