Cookie Cutter Faith

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“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

This was originally published on 7/6/2022. Heads up that you may have already read this.

My kids and I went to a wedding out-of-town this past weekend. At the wedding, they gave out fortune cookies. My 6-year-old daughter opened hers and read “You will find a treasure soon.”

The next morning we were driving around looking for an alternative to the planned hike because it was raining. I turned in at a sign that said, “Horseback riding.” It was a holiday weekend and we didn’t have reservations so I didn’t think we’d be able to ride but maybe we could see some horses, my daughter’s favorite animal even though she’d never actually touched one. Yet.

But they booked us for a ride. As my daughter sat atop a big quarter horse named Comanche, I could hear her tell the guide. “I got a fortune cookie and it said that I would find a treasure. It was right – THIS IS MY TREASURE.”

I chuckled but as the weekend went on she repeated the story a few more times adding at the end, “I need another fortune cookie.” I grew a little uneasy. Surely I needed to inject a little reality to this fortune cookie madness.

Wait a minute – one of my favorite quotes is from Albert Einstein’s “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle.” And I’m clearly on Team Miracle. So why was I feeling the need to put the kibosh on her finding some magic in fortune cookies?

Because I’m a parent and I want her to believe in something more substantial that involves some responsibility and transcendence. Because I don’t want her to be disappointed.

It made me think of all the years that I didn’t discuss my faith with my beloved dad because I feared my spiritual beliefs weren’t religious enough. When I finally found the chutzpah to do it, we had deep and meaningful conversations about life, family and love. And it turned out that life and his 40 years as a pastor had instilled in him a bigger idea than the Presbyterian party line. In the end, he called himself a big tent guy. “In a way I have become less cocky or confident because I thought I had things all figured out early on, but now I know I have general things figured out, but the fact is that we differ in this huge tent of the family of faith on different things.”

And then he went on to paint a picture of how my yoga/meditation/spiritual practice related to his beliefs in a unifying way:

“I’ve thought this often about you and your world with all the disciplines that are so wonderfully therapeutic. It seems to me that Christ is equally as present and could be equally named and known to you. The disciplines in a sense are more along the horizontal level than perhaps the vertical level (reaching up to God) and Christ honors anything that makes us more what God wants us to be.

I am thrilled with what is happening in you in this journey and one of the great benefits is that it brings us closer.  When kids follow in a trail similar to their parents, it creates one more way they can be close and can relate with each other … and in this case relate deeply and lastingly.”

Dick Leon

Thinking back to what I learned from talking with my dad, I think of all the time I didn’t talk about faith because of fear that it wouldn’t measure up. In the end, I realized that no two people see faith in exactly the same way, no matter how unified their theology is. Instead, there’s room in the tent for all of us.

I have faith that my daughter will grow up to experience God in her own nuanced way and I don’t need to fear it will be Fortune Cookie religion. So why not find some magic in it? After all, my fortune was “Your hard work will pay off soon.”

What about you? Do you talk about faith in your family? Do fortune cookies count as miracles?

As a related post to this one, I’ve published a post on the Wise & Shine Blog: Do You Believe In Magic? Do You Write About It?

(featured photo from Pexels)

46 thoughts on “Cookie Cutter Faith”

  1. Pingback: Do You Believe In Magic? Do You Write About It? - Wise & Shine

  2. Great question (do we talk about faith as a family)! As a dad of 4 kid, I was very aware as they were growing up, I didn’t want to .Jam/ force feed the spiritual component of my life down their throats. I know too many kids who chaff/ reject their parents spirituality because of that. I believed then, and i still believe the most important part of that process is for you as a parent that your words, and life, match your public profession of “faith” Kids can smell hypocrisy a mile away, even if they can’t put it into words. Nothing will cause a child to reject their parents brand of “faith” quicker than a hypocrite. @ the same time, we did talk about God, in our lives as the kids were in the house. We talked about “eye spys” for example… when something happened in our lives that seemed like God was involved in a special way. ..I think I heard that term off a Christian radio program/ I know i didn’t make it up. we didn’t have regular devotions with the kids. 90% of what kids pick up in a home is probably organically learned anyway. I hear echos of my approach to faith in your dad’ words.

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    1. I love this note because it has the wisdom of someone who has lived it. The eye spys is a great idea. You are right – this is so organic and kids really learn from observation more than lecture. Thank you, Doug!

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  3. It’s wonderful to see your daughter finding joy and wonder in simple things like a fortune cookie’s message. Embracing the magic of life and keeping an open mind can lead to beautiful experiences and connections. Your reflections on your own journey with faith and your father’s perspective are a reminder of the richness that comes from being open to diverse beliefs and finding common ground in the “big tent” of the human family. 🌟💫

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  4. Your dad’s embrace of how you live was very touching, Wynne. We need more such people, those who encompass the world instead of seeing differences as dangers to be attacked.

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  5. Such a profound topic, Wynne. With two Presbyterian minister nieces and my own non-traditional belief system, we seem worlds apart, yet the proof is in the pudding. It’s all a matter of the love in our hearts and how we behave toward others, regardless of beliefs. In the end, we are all members of the same family—both human and spiritual.

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  6. I was blessed to grow up in a family that didn’t force me to see God in a certain way. And as I got older, I discovered that I am profoundly spiritual if not very conventional. I have a very difficult time living in a box now and I LOVE your Dad’s analogy of a tent that is big enough for all of us 🙏💕 I am so glad you were able to connect so profoundly with your Dad: that is such a gift, Wynne… 💕

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    1. Oh, Patti – there are so many ways that this comment resonates with me. I have a very difficult time living in a box now too. And yes, that time to connect with my dad was really a gift. Thank you so much for weighing in and adding your rich experience to my own! ❤

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      1. It’s so lovely when you discover that you’re not nearly as alone as you thought you were, so thank YOU, dear Wynne…🙏💕 Because of all the outside pressure, this topic has been weighing on my soul for years now, although I think I am finally well and truly on the other side of it…🙏

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  7. I love this post on so many levels…not least of which is hearing again about your father’s expansive heart and your courage to engage him in deep, risky conversations. xo! 💕

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  8. My deeper faith is pretty recent, so the questions you ask here are ones I’m just starting to face. From a living-unmasked perspective, it’ll be important for me to do so, even if I do get laughter in response.

    I did practice with a friend a few days ago. I said, “How I make choices now is … I pray, then I listen.” Given his own beliefs, I thought he’d laugh; instead, he warmly received my words as additional information about me (!). Taking that together with your story about how the convo with your dad went reminds me that laughter really is only one possible response! So I’ll try to be in the moment, not anticipations, as I do have these conversations. ❤

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    1. Oh, I like how you describe making choices. It reminds me of something I heard on a podcast and wrote about but I can’t put my finger on it. I’ll have to dig a little.

      Yes, be in the moment – it seems to work for so much! But I hear you about all the conversations I hear in my head. Geez, I did that for years with my dear dad and his response was none of the ones I anticipated!

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  9. I’ve had some beautiful miracles appear in my life, but never predicted by a fortune cookie. Hmm… 🙂 I love Miss O’s experience of “this is my treasure”. I also love your Dad’s words, your connection, the love expressed, and yes, your fortune cookie’s prediction, too. You write a marvelous blog, Wynne. 🙂

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  11. Love your father’s wisdom on the uniqueness of each unique individual’s faith journey Wynne. He eloquently expresses the stark difference between the ‘Do/Don’t’, one size fits all, cookie-cutter, impersonal, confining, controlling Relgion, and the ‘Done!’, individually fitted and sized, personal, freeing, vibrant, 24/7/365 Relationship with our Creator.

    Count this ole ragamuffin in on Team Miracle who after 8+ decades is ever more grateful each new morning I’m able to jump outta’ bed and fog a mirror 😊

    Be Blessed!

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  12. Love this post Wynne! I have come to believe that there are aspects of human life that transcend what we know or call reality. How those things occur, why, where, when are all up to individual interpretation but I think we mislead ourselves in believing that we as humans are the center of everything. Even my science based reality allows for there to be the possibility of something more, something bigger and grander that connects us all.

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  13. I so agree with your father’s big tent philosophy. I’ve always believed that God understands us and doesn’t put one denomination over another, or one religious practice to be the “right” one.

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  14. I have lived a few spiritual truths, each one was valid in the time of my life I experienced them. Some people live only one reality and stick with it, while others will explore. Who knows what your daughter will choose for herself, but I’m sure you will be supportive of her choices!

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      1. Good point about relationships, though I think we extract the lessons after we have moved on, at least I do!

        Liked by 1 person

  15. I grew up in a very non-religious family, so no, faith was never discussed. Except for the one time I went out and bought the new George Michael CD.

    I love that Miss O declared a horse her favorite animal without ever actually touching one. That’s faith of a different sort!

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    1. That’s a good George Michael joke, Mark! And you make a good point about Miss O’s favorite animal. I love that kids don’t have to be all that tied to what they say because they know they can change their minds. Something we can all probably learn from. 🙂

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  16. I remember this charming post when you originally published it.

    Since then, a colleague recently returned from San Francisco, where she visited the famous fortune cookie factory in Chinatown. So we got a large of fortune cookies and I went through three cookies in a row. I loved all three fortunes I received and felt I should stop before I came across one I didn’t like.

    Faith is so complex indeed but as you noted, sometimes there’s charm and wonder in embracing the cookie cutter fortunes too!

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  17. Faith was rarely discussed in my family of origin. My sister and I had more discussions about God and faith because it wasn’t really explained or experienced except at Christmas and Easter. We interrogated our friends who belonged to churches or synagogues, we shared notes, and we tried to develop a relationship with this invisible but perceptible presence eventually finding our way into traditions that fed us. I too believe in the collective tent of faith, all paths to God are relevant and good. It amazes me that the way in which you worship God can be divisive to so many people. We need more people like your dad. Hugs, C

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your investigative road to God is so interesting, Cheryl. I love it!

      And your bigger comment about how we can treasure our traditions but not hold them so tightly as to make them a division between us is so good. Here’s to the big Tent!

      Sending lots of love and appreciation for you!! XOXO

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  18. A fascinating read Wynne. I too love your dad’s idea of a big tent. I’m sure I love it because my background is a varied one. (As you know, even got a little Amish in there too, ha ha.) Love that you’re having these discussions with your kids. I’m sure they’ll see it too in the years to come in future conversations and when they read your book.

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    1. I love your comment because you remind me that many of us come to this topic from varied sources. Then we need to figure out how to find unity with that. Love your input, Brian!

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