The Quantity versus Quality of Time

Posted in life lessonsTagged , , , ,

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” – Michael Althsuler

This post was previously posted on 7/20/2022. Heads up – you may have already read this.

Last week I was driving in my car with my almost 7-year-old daughter at 8:29am when she said “Darn, I’m always a minute late for my favorite time.” She likes palindromic times – in this case 8:28.

It made me think about what I’ve been working on lately. Life feels hectic – summertime means different routines for each week, forms to fill out for camps, people to coordinate carpools with, a lot of additional details in addition to working my full-time job, taking care of kids and trying to maintain a social life.

In the midst of this, my goal is not to be in a hurry even while living a busy life.

That is to say, to try to be intentional and savor the things I’m doing. For example, I had on my to-do list an item to fix the fence where it had come apart at a post. That activity in and of itself doesn’t really have a high enjoyment value. But the other day when I stepped out to assess the task, I felt the summer sun on my back and saw the green of all the grass and trees around. The flowers of the garden are really flourishing and it’s an incredibly vibrant scene right now.

The task might not be much to talk about – but the scenario is gorgeous. When I hurry, I miss all of that. So I’m trying to take an extra breath or two, how long can that take – 11 seconds if I’m optimizing the length according to the Unified Theory of Breathing? Just a couple breaths add a dimension that makes me think of the quote from Auguste Rodin, “Nothing is a waste of time if you use the opportunity wisely.“

There are two different Greek words that speak to this divide: chronos and kairos. Chronos is clock time so when my daughter is saying that she’s a minute late for her favorite time, it’s chronos we’re talking about. Kairos is translated as the “right time” as in now is the right time to step in, speak up or enjoy what I’m doing. I might have to be somewhere at a particular time, as in chronos, but kairos calls me to be mindful of the trip.  

I usually manage to arrive on time, chronos speaking, but I frequently mess up the quality of the time, kairos, in order to do so. In fact, I did that just yesterday when I was hurrying the kids to the car so we’d be on time for our carpool. My almost 3-year-old son wanted to hold the door for his sister and in my desire for efficiency, I didn’t listen to him and missed the right time to enjoy the spark of what he was doing. A small moment that is neither here nor there in the big picture, unless all the small moments are rushed like that.

What I’ve learned is when I manage not to be in a hurry even while life is busy, it prevents me from feeling like I’m a minute late for my favorite time.

How do you approach the quantity versus quality of time? Any tricks to slow yourself down when you are hurrying?

If you aren’t short of chronos, I’ve also posted a related post on the Wise & Shine blog: Speed Reading

(featured photo from Pexels)

50 thoughts on “The Quantity versus Quality of Time”

  1. Though I don’t do this, I wonder if spending a minute watching the sand fall in an hourglass might remind us to make the best use of our time.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I can honor the ‘chronos’ and be on time…numbers-wise…but my head and heart can be on some distant shore. I often remind myself to ‘stay in my body’ when I’m zooming around. I hadn’t thought about it until I read your post, but I guess that’s my way of summoning kairos. 😉😘😉

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Wonderful that your daughter has a favorite (palindromic!) time, and that your son wanted to hold the door for her… Sometimes we’re in a rush and can’t help it because we’re trying to meet a deadline. But I agree that it’s worthwhile to savor what’s happening around you. To slow down, I focus on something. Could be my breathing, could be something from my senses. That focus allows me to pay more attention to other things, too. I’m more aware. Of course, many times go by when I don’t do this. But it feels good when I remember to take those moments of awareness.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The biggest trick I’ve found for slowing down is being curious. One of the side effect of being sick was limited mobility and a slow pace, and one of the benefits was noticing the ants, squirrels, face-shaped pattern of woodpecker holes, and shadowy silhouette of an owl in the tree. For reasons unbeknownst to be, that childlike wonder really does seem to slow down time. Even now that I’m feeling better, I still stoop down to watch a beetle or spend too much time looking for the double-plume quail or the one with the injured leg.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s funny, Erin, because I was just thinking about curiosity this morning. How is that injured leg quail doing? And the way you incorporated curiosity into the slower pace that being sick forced you into – brilliant. What a way to get out of our heads and into the scene. Thank you for sharing this wonderful method!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I should take the time to post the Rodin quote somewhere where I can see it every minute of the day. That could be my personal motto. I never try to make the most of time, not the least of it. I take every moment, minute, event, or activity as it’s given and start it off with a deep breath and a reminder that this will be the only time this time happens. Enjoy it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “And a reminder that this will be the only time this time happens.” So good, Michael! And the deep breath – so good and grounding. I sense the talented speaker you are in this comment. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Einstein once wrote that, “time is relative. It’s only worth depends on what we do as it is passing.”
    I have been tied to a clock for most of my adult life, but finding joy in the precious moment I am in, alleviates the bounds of time. When we are suspended in this one moment, time really does become relative.
    It isn’t easy based on our societal constructs, but it is absolutely possible.
    Great post Wynne.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “It isn’t easy based on our societal constructs, but it is absolutely possible” – that is golden, Alegria. Right, not easy but possible. And I simply LOVE the way you finding joy and slow things down – and share that vision with us through your videos. Absolutely brilliant!!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Years ago when I lived in Tucson and rode the bus to work, I made it a habit to search for a new photo to shoot. It not only kept me occupied while waiting or walking to and from the stops, it helped give my my moments of joy, when I paid more attention to the slant of the shadows and sun, how textures and colors changed like moods as the sun shifted. People gave me strange looks as I photographed strange or very mundane items, but I felt a sense of joy each day when I managed to capture my photo for the day.

    I kind of stopped that habit after I moved away, I was driving to work, I had different stresses, etc. I’m thinking I need to revisit that habit once more! I feel I need to get back into that directed mindfulness, where I see more of what is around me!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What a great habit – and trick for paying attention, Tamara! I love that you shared that, especially the beautiful particulars of shadows and sun. So good. As is your phrase “directed mindfulness.” Love it!

      Like

  8. Ahhh, retired life! Never a need to rush or miss out on the little things as they come and go…unless perhaps the TSA Precheck line is longer than regular security and you have a tram ride plus are departing from gate 78 located 2 miles away in an airport annex 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh boy, this comment got my heart beating faster just reading it. The airport – such a high stakes environment for that time pressure!! Ahhh!! I’m hoping that none of the above happens to you on your upcoming trip, Deb!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks Wynne! In truth all of that has sort of happened over my adventures back and forth to Colorado- just not at the same time thankfully 😉

        Like

  9. I think as busy working parents, there is a disproportionate shift towards quantitative time, trying to do as much as we can in the limited time we have. I do savour the moments when time can be experienced qualitatively – where we can take those deep breaths, take in all the experience has to offer, and not be in such a pressure to move onto the next moment. One day at a time! 😅

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s so comforting to know that you are struggling with the same things. And I love how you’ve transformed my thinking by using qualitatively – somehow as an adverb it sinks in even more deeply. Thank you, my friend!

      Like

  10. Oh the pressure Wynne!!!! You make time in your busy schedule to write this wonderful blog and now I need to come up with a great comment that knocks your socks off, but the best I can come up with is: “just breathe.” Ugh. What a let down. Ha, ha. Oh, I think you’ve got the right idea Wynne. You try your best to be there in full for your kids and for others. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But what’s good is that you’re still trying to recognize those moments when Mr. D is holding the door open for his sister. Yea, you’re going to miss some moments, but your intent is in the right place. I could be wrong, but I believe that’s half the battle.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Just breathe” is brilliant, Brian! You’ve delivered as always!! I think you are right that it’s half the battle – because when we don’t even have it on the radar, it’s not possible at all. So true!

      Like

  11. There’s an argument that time doesn’t exist as it is a human construct and therefore a convention. We then spend ‘time’ pondering our past (memories) and our future (imagination). If we ignore what’s been and gone and stop predicting the future and live life for the moment we will be like the waves of the oceans and the stars in the sky. Neither is doing anything other than existing. Maybe we need to start existing to be aware that we exist

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow, what a deep comment. I had to read it a couple of times to let it sink in. It’s a beautiful thought and I can do it for a moment or two, sometimes longer when I meditate, and then I drop back into time again. But what a great thing to aspire to. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. When I catch myself rushing and feeling a little bit overwhelmed, I try to remember to take a deep relaxing breath and remind myself that all is truly well. It can take a moment to shift, but it helps. Your story reminded me of when my son was very little and often had trouble in stores. There were a few things that if he saw them, he HAD to have them: American flags, and balloons. If I didn’t get him one, he’d melt down. (Not a willful tantrum, but a meltdown). Eventually, I learned to keep a flag or two in the car, but I remember taking my inconsolable little one (he must have been around 2) out to the parking lot and holding him, hugging him, and taking a minute to just be. I think at the time I was just trying to calm myself down, but taking those thirty seconds to hug, rock, and breathe did us both good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a sweet story! You bring to mind the times when I’ve had to do a full stop to hold my kids because of injury or otherwise – you’re right, there is such a blessing in those moments. What a beautiful picture of the mom you are that you’ve painted – thank you!

      And I love your statement, “It can take a moment to shift, but it helps.”

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I learned my lesson when my kids were ages 10 and 13. I was rushing between activities. My daughter had swim practice. My son had piano and needed to be at a play practice. I was rushing from one end of town to the other, realized I forgot something for one of them, did a U-turn, crashed into a curb and ended up with a flat tire. Everything literally came to a stop, and while waiting for Triple A, rethought how the year was going with too many things going on at once.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, the wisdom of rethinking when it all goes wrong. You could have just kept up the pace but I love how you took the flat tire opportunity to consider it all. Beautiful and wise, Elizabeth!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I love this post, and I love the introduction to an exciting new word: kairos! I will be using this.

    For slowing myself down, I remember something I read from Rick Hanson ages ago. Literally slowing anything I’m doing–the pace at which I’m speaking, walking, or breathing–will help my nervous system understand there’s no tigers. So I’ll slow one of these and notice (typically within only seconds!) how much a simple slowing improves, well, everything.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I love juxtaposition in general. This use of chronos and kairos has me thinking. I like it!

    Also, as it happened to be close to the time, for fun I tried to sync my response for exactly 8:28, but now it’s two minutes after…

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I can relate to the struggle of balancing chronos and kairos, especially in a busy life. And I think it’s not just about being on time but making the most of the time. I’ve often found myself rushing through tasks to meet deadlines, only to miss the beauty of the moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. It truly is the journey, not the destination, huh?

    I love that she loves palindromic time! I’m a sucker for those things, too. Fun fact: If I ever started a rock ‘n roll band, we would be called Hannah & The Palindromes. Even if we didn’t have a Hannah in the group. Or a female, for that matter.

    (It’s a moot point anyway. I have zero musical skills.)

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Pingback: Photos of the Week: October 14 – Surprised By Joy
  20. Pingback: The Quantity versus Quality of Time - PerfectAbravo.store

  23. Sometimes I feel less like the pilot and more like I’m being dragged along for a ride I’m not ready for.
    On most days I can use my ‘margins’ around the different activities to enjoy the kairos (thanks for the new words!). Other times I find those moments like your son holding the door plant an ember that grows into a spark later when I take the time to breathe and enjoy what happened. Yes, I lose the immediacy of the moment, but still can bask in its glow later. 💞💞💞

    Like

  24. Pingback: PerfectAbravo.storeBest Quality Products you can buyThe Quantity versus Quality of Time

Comments are closed.