Patiently Yours

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“Maybe happiness is this: not feeling like you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else.” – Eric Weiner

We were snuggled into my bed for bedtime stories the other night, under the covers to fend off the late summer night chill, when I started a story about an attempt to fish when I was a kid by saying that I’m not a very patient person.

I’d only gotten that one line out when Miss O stopped me and said, “You are a super patient person with us, Mom!”

Oh boy, I had a parental drop-the-mic moment. I thanked her for saying that and walked away from bedtime stories with a little glow of my own.

I want to interject here to tell you of the many moments that I’m not patient, just as a reflex of polite conversation. It’s true that I’m still not very patient about waiting for life to unfold; it drives me crazy to wait for the pot to boil, the light to change, and the paint to dry. But brushing it off would be disingenuous because I’ve also done a great deal of work to become more patient with people.

So, Miss O’s words sparked some reflection about how I’ve come so far for it to be noticeable by my kids. Because let’s admit, kids are a tough audience where patience is concerned because they require a lot and have very little.

All of our major wisdom traditions speak to how to love others. For me, it’s a mix of those traditions and the way they’ve helped me to accept myself as a basis.

In the language of my father, I’ve embraced my role as a sinner and the grace of God. From a Buddhist perspective, mediation has helped me to find peace and loving-kindness. Listening to podcasts with psychologists has given me the perspective of self-compassion. And becoming a writer has helped me tell my story again and again until I’ve come to love it, and be infinitely curious and more compassionate about the stories of others.

In short, I’ve been able to slow my roll with others because I’ve learned to be patient and compassionate with myself.

I’m keeping this post about patience short. Just saying. Anyway, I’ve got to go watch a pot boil.

So if you want more and aren’t too impatient, I’ve written more about letting things unfold in others in my Heart of the Matter post: When Will They Learn?

(featured photo from Pexels)

48 thoughts on “Patiently Yours”

  1. Pingback: When Will They Learn? – The Heart of the Matter

      3. I think what they notice are the parents who are not like their own which then spurs them on as they mature to question why and in the case of Miss O, have the verbal skills to point out those differences and give mom a compliment as well 🙂

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  3. I can think of many times when I wanted things to ‘hurry up’ so that a situation would be resolved. Only to discover that, as time went by, additional relevant factors evolved, and the final resolution was not at all what I had expected. In a good way. Seems to me that patience often allows things to develop in an organic sense, instead of forced results.

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    1. What an astute comment, Gwen. “allows things to develop in an organic sense, instead of forced results.” Right! Patience works on so many levels! Thank you for the great comment!

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  5. I surprise myself after all these years about just how easy it is to fall into patterns and ignore simple things like patience regarding myself. There’s a dichotomy there for me- I am much more patient with the grands than I was with my kids, yet I am harder on myself, playing the “you know better” game. Maybe I can blame that on just another sign of aging??? Probably not 😉

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    1. Ah, being harder on yourself. Maybe that is a side effect of aging – feeling like we’ve been through enough that we should know better? But I think all the wisdom traditions tell us we deserve our own compassion… 🙂

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  6. How beautiful that little Miss O recognizes patience and took the time to let you know. Based on reading so many of your posts, I too would say you’re a very patient person. And having struggled with that myself, I admire that quality in you. I too have worked at it and find myself more patient these days. Perhaps it’s age, or experience. Or perhaps it’s not having little ones around anymore. They were definitely my teachers. Because as you said so beautifully, they need a lot, and don’t have much. I’ve learned so much from them.

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  8. A lovely tale of transformation past, present, and future. Listen to Miss O, Wynne! We learn an enormous amount from our kids, don’t we?

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  12. What a beautiful conclusion Wynne, that you have learned to be patient and compassionate with yourself and now you are patient with the others too. I should learn it as well, being an impatient person!

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  14. Patience truly is a virtue and blessing – and so is the honesty of children. If Miss O recognizes that in you, it means you are doing it right by her and you. 😊💕

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  15. High-fivin’ my fellow sinner! Woot!

    I was extremely impatient when my kids were young (especially my first-born). It’s always bugged me that I wasn’t the super mellow chill dude dad I could have been if I’d had them a little later in life. (Before you ask, NO. I am not having any more kids!)

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    1. High-five right back at you! Yeah, there’s no way I’d have been as patient as I am if I’d had kids younger. I needed some more growing up! And thanks for the clarification on kids. Seems like Rusty and Audrey turned out great so once around is all you need. 🙂

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  16. What I like the most about this story is how a child teaches without knowing they’re teaching. Nothing pedantic about this lesson, just a passing glimpse into who she sees when she sees you.

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  19. Out of the mouth of babes! So lovely. Reminds me of the nights when my son was young and I read story after story to him, oftentimes so tired that I was able to read out loud while my mind drifted off. That said, I loved reading stories giving characters different voices.

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