Open the Doors, Let It Flow

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“Deep breathing is our nervous system’s love language.” – Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy

There aren’t that many hot days in Seattle – maybe 10 or 12 a year so like most Seattleites, I don’t have air conditioning. When the days are hot, I close the blinds and try to open the outside doors early in the morning to let the cool morning air in.

But inevitably, there will be a room with a closed door like the laundry room that I’ll walk into after a few hot days in a row, and just get blasted by hot, fetid air.

When I first started meditating, it felt like I was doing the work to open up and cool off all those rooms inside myself that I’d closed down. It was like breathing through the airing of grief – and I had some big ones.

I had gotten divorced but because my marriage had imploded in this spectacular drama when my business partner told me of my husband’s infidelities, I hadn’t ever owned that I had wanted out of that marriage. I was far more comfortable having it all be my ex’s fault – comfortable but not honest.

When I was 18-years-old and came to study (well, that’s what we called it at least) at the University of Washington, I ran into a group of Scientologists trying to recruit new converts one afternoon. The guy who’d stopped me said, “What about yourself do you not want anyone to know?”

Miraculously, I’d gotten to 18 without having anything in that category – or so I thought. But as I got more years under my belt, I tried to maintain that same easy-breezy exterior by hiding anything that didn’t match with that persona. I was ambitious. I almost failed religious studies in college because I never went to class and it was just an elective, but I was a minister’s daughter. I drank a bottle of wine every day. I smoked when I drank. I still bore wounds from my mean older sister growing up.

Meditation changed my life when I started airing out those rooms. I was able to let go of all the energy I was using to keep those doors shut. I no longer felt the heat coming from those rooms affecting the rest of my “house.” The secrets that I thought were so explosive turned out to be way more manageable and easier to change or heal when they weren’t hidden away.

And meditation helps me maintain that baseline level of cool. Like this morning when I sat down on the meditation cushion, felt a cut on my index finger, and I thought about myself “that was stupid.” I had no idea I was still stuck on the fact that I’d taken a band-aid off my finger yesterday and then accidentally re-opened the cut when I washed and dried my hands. Such a simple thing and I was still kicking myself 12 hours later.

Open the doors, let it flow. Like with the body, it is so much easier for me to react calmly to life when I’m not over-heated. Meditation as the air conditioning for the soul.

So I’m thrilled that I was able to do a podcast with my meditation teacher, Deirdre Wilcox. Deirdre introduced me to meditation more than 10 years ago and is my go-to person for helping me air out my hot pockets. Please listen to this wonderful woman with wisdom – I believe you will walk away from it just a little bit breezier as well.

Search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts or click here to listen to Episode 10: The Power of Intuition with Deirdre Wilcox on Anchor.

Then I hope you’ll leave any comments you have on the show notes page on Heart of the Matter.

(featured photo from Pexels)

29 thoughts on “Open the Doors, Let It Flow”

  1. Pingback: Episode 10: The Power of Intuition – The Heart of the Matter

  3. “The secrets that I thought were so explosive turned out to be way more manageable and easier to change or heal when they weren’t hidden away.” . . .. Amen Wynne!

    It wasn’t until I finally gave up hiding behind my charlatan ‘nice guy’ persona in my desire to receive the approval of others, realizing God knows and loves me just as I am, that I realized the genuine freedom of honest transparency.

    Pastor Mark Batterson echoed the truth of your words when he said . . .
    “Nothing is as freeing as a confessed sin. Nothing is as isolating as a guilt secret.”

    Thanks, and be blessed lady!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The “genuine freedom on honest transparency” – wow, Fred. What an amazing way to put it! And you’re right – Pastor Mark Batterson words are the truth! Thanks for being such a constant encourager, Fred!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I also found myself nodding in agreement with this, Wynne: “The secrets that I thought were so explosive turned out to be way more manageable and easier to change or heal when they weren’t hidden away.” I spent so much of my youth aiming for perfectionism, and always falling short. Taking up mediation in my late-teens to early-twenties helped give my soul some breathing room. Then, getting ill and physically lacking the energy to worry in mid-twenties peeled away all the layers. Looking at our imperfections and struggles head-on, without judgement is one of the most freeing feelings. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love your phrases “my soul some breathing room” and then about your journey through illness “peeled away all the layers.” Both of those resonate so much with me – it seems like the details of our journeys vary so much but sooner or later, we get peeled back. And then as you say, looking without judgment is such a freeing feeling. Yes! Thanks for reading, commenting, and connecting with my experience, Erin!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Isn’t it incredibly that, as different as everyone’s journey may be, we often hit the same landmarks on the path to the same destination? The details of our trials, tribulations, victories, and celebrations are unique, yet the qualities of the experiences and lessons learned are often quite similar. I hope you have a wonderful weekend, Wynne!

        Liked by 2 people

  7. A beautiful post, Wynne – love the connections you vividly drew between those hot days and opening doors to cool down with the metaphorical cooling down you find through meditation. Well done.

    You bore so much trauma and grief in your early years and you have found a great way to process it in such a healthy manner. We all could learn from it. 🙂 And how wonderful to have a great coach and friend in Dierdre too.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This! “When I first started meditating, it felt like I was doing the work to open up and cool off all those rooms inside myself that I’d closed down.” Shit, that’s gold! You are such a thoughtful and talented writer. Love this post, can’t wait to listen you your podcast! Hugs, C

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh, the irony. I wrote a long comment, starting with an observation about the stupid little mistakes we make so often, a la your Band-Aid story, and then clicked the shoe ad on the side of this post before hitting Post! Grrrr!

    And here my comment had been that we make little mistakes all the time because we can’t be working at 100% at all times. Knowing that about ourselves will take the sting out, both metaphorically and literally, as the case may be.

    Also, “What about yourself do you not want anyone to know?” –Did they really expect people to spill their deep dark secrets right then and there? Puh-lease. (Side note, I mistyped ‘right’ both times I wrote this.)

    And finally, I mentioned that I now have a knot forming in my back under my right shoulder blade, no doubt from spending too much time at the computer, esp the mouse. And here to you, I was all, “just get some cushions.” Meh. I DO need to get up out of this chair for a mental as well as physical break.

    And now, POST before shoes!!! 😛 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    2. Wow – you are dedicated to type that twice. What a pain! But I’m so grateful that you did because this comment is filled with humor and wisdom (what else would I expect from you?).

      I love this “And here my comment had been that we make little mistakes all the time because we can’t be working at 100% at all times. Knowing that about ourselves will take the sting out, metaphorically and literally.” Yes, yes, yes!

      You make a good point about the Scientologists. I wonder what their recruiting angle was with that question. Now I’ll never find out… 🙂

      Hope you are having fun away from the computer, stretching out your shoulder – maybe with some new shoes… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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