Sunday Funnies: Feb 26

Posted in humorTagged

A re-run of my dad’s humor cards. They make me chuckle all over again – so I hope you enjoy them whether it’s the first time or second (first posted on 1/16/22).

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories he heard, found or saw and then typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

Doctor’s notes on patient’s charts (actual notes – unedited)

  1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
  3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
  4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
  5. Discharge status: alive but without permission.
  6. The patient refused an autopsy.
  7. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  8. Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
  9. She is numb from her toes down.
  10. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
  11. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
  12. I saw your patient today, who is still under our Car for physical therapy.
  13. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
  14. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
  15. Skin; somewhat pale but present.
  16. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
  17. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

57 thoughts on “Sunday Funnies: Feb 26”

  1. I have had mixed results from physical therapy. After reading #12, now I know why. I’d like to bathe in the enlightenment of that thought all day, but my wife informs me I can’t stay in the tub that long.

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  2. I’m sorry…. I cannot pick a favorite. These are laugh out loud funny…each of them. So much fun! I’ll be sharing these later when we have a gathering of friends and family for Sunday supper. You just provided the entertainment, Wynne! 🤣🤣🤣

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      1. I tried reading them out to hubby, but I couldn’t keep a straight face to read. As he read, tears were streaming down my face -not laughed so much in a while. Thanks again 😘

        Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s funny to hear the inside scoop from you, Mary! I can imagine how they’d be common – with the pace and the tight timeframes, I imagine it easy to make typos!

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  21. I’d love to meet the doctor who wrote a huge mistake on my file after some surgery – that part he/she got right – it was the extra diagnosis from his imaginary x-ray and the dire straights that would cause much grief. I was referred to another specialist who hadn’t even seen the x-ray but she also jumped to conclusions and scheduled me for surgery but first I’ll just check how much damage. I front up for special x-ray and the staff can find no “records” of a first x-ray and I’m cleared to go…
    I was “stunned” but head of radiology was too…2 weeks later I left town for a month of drifting around NZ as a “celebration” of me…

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