Love No-Matter-What

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“Love is God’s religion.” – Rumi

A couple of days ago, Miss O and I had a mother/daughter day of rock climbing at the climbing gym. As we were buying our after-climbing lunch at the neighborhood grocery story, Miss O dropped the glass bottle of soda she was carrying and it shattered right near the check-out lines.

Trying to ease her embarrassment and horror, I told her that it was okay. She hissed back, “It is not okay. Have you ever dropped something like that?”

And I replied, “Only all the time.”

Which is a phrase I picked up from a recent Ten Percent Happier podcast with Father Gregory Boyle . In it he suggested the most expansive view of love and the power of love that I’ve ever heard. Days after listening to it — twice — I clearly am still trying to ingest the beautiful view of loving people no-matter-what that he presents. So it’s the topic of my post today for the Pointless Overthinking blog: Expansiveness.

29 thoughts on “Love No-Matter-What”

  1. That was very nice of you to react with love and calm to Miss O. Love, to me, doesn’t solve all of the world’s problems, but it certainly makes a big difference in shaping one’s attitude to face them and to building bridges with others. When thinking about it as a parent, it makes all the difference in helping a child develop and grow too. So kudos and yay, Wynne!

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    1. Thank you, Ab. There was so much in this podcast I couldn’t do it justice. But it did remind me of the quality of the no-matter-what love that we give our children – and how amazing of a gift that is to both people. It’s a quality that you exude and inspire again and again and I’m so appreciative.

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    1. Thank you, Vicki! The podcast was so powerful because of Father Gregory’s ability to convey that when we are cherished, we stop caring whether we’ll be loved back so we can pay it forward (my words, not his). It was such a big sense of love that I can’t do it justice. But I’m thinking you get it and I’m so glad!! ❤

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    2. When you said “cherished” what came to mind that this is the ultimate “someone has your back.”

      Wynne, your daughter will grow up safe with the knowledge that you will always have her back. What a wonderful gift you’re bestowing on her!

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      1. EW, that’s a beautiful image! Yes, someone has your back. And I feel cherished by your comment. But I’d also say that the gift of raising these two little people is mine – what a journey of growth and wonder it is!! Thanks for reading, my friend!

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  4. Yours was a wonderful supportive reply to your daughter. I’m glad you were calm and had the opportunity to impart some adult wisdom. I’m not familiar with that podcast so will go investigate.

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  6. Father Boyle’s quote, “The practice – Catch yourself before you are judgmental. How do you stand in awe at what people have to carry rather than in judgment at how they carry it? You are catching yourself all the time.” resonated with me!

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  7. Wow. What a great way to respond! Thank you for sharing. I’ve got the podcast bookmarked. I’m hoping to find some things I can apply when interacting with students, also. Your reaction to Miss O was wonderful! I hope I can learn to be more humble and open!

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    1. What a lovely comment, Belle. I hope you enjoy the podcast – I think there’s so much in there to learn from and I’d love to know what you think of it when you listen to it. Father Boyle is so inspiring!

      Hope this week is going great for you!

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  8. Wow his words were so amazing, especially about not trying to save the day bc then it’s about you, but doing it from a place of compassion. This post also reminds me of mediation. Bc it’s sort of like the judgmental thoughts or the tendency to judge is natural, just like thinking is natural during meditation. But it’s a practice to stop the judgements, just like it’s a practice to keep coming back to breath. Just another example of this “life as a meditation” thing that I keep experiencing in these small ways. Like right here! Thank you, Wynne, you’re so lovely! xo

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  9. I suspect that in the moment my first thought would have been mortal embarrassment. I probably would not have reacted as positively. I’d like to think I would catch myself and respond similar to how you did … but not before the damage had been done. Loving people no matter what — A beautiful concept. Yes, maybe I need to practice that one a bit more! Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thanks, Brian. You point out something so true – that we have our own feelings about these messes. Thank goodness we have a lot of opportunities (well, you might not have to do it much any more with your older kids) to practice trying to get the reaction right! Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  10. Poor Miss O. I’m glad you could respond calmly. Isn’t that something we recently discussed–our reactions and patience helping distill that knowledge/understanding/behavior/attitude in our children? Well done, friend. 🙂

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    1. Thanks, Betsy! Yes, it seems like we’ve talked about it quite recently. It does matter how we react. I don’t always get it right but I’m glad I have a lot of opportunities to practice. 🙂 Thanks for your understanding and encouragement – it always helps!

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