It’s in the Comments

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“To listen with an open heart and ask questions to better help us understand the other person is a spiritual exercise, in the truest sense of the word.” – Harriet Lerner

Yesterday I re-blogged a post about sliding glass door moments, the moments where you see the life you could have on the other side and choose whether to open the door and cross that threshold. Deb commented on it and mentioned that solid door moments, those times when we have no real sense of what’s ahead yet we know we need something in our life to change, might take even more courage to pass through.

Wow, did that make me think. It is just one example of the very many where a comment has expanded the envelope of my thinking. Which is the wonderful effect of comments. They often drive me to a deeper understanding of myself or the topic, sometimes both.

But when I first started blogging, I found commenting hard. Did I know the author well enough that a typed comment would be relevant? Was I interpreting the material correctly and would I be on point?

Maybe first time comments are like tiny solid doors – we often have no real idea who’s on the other side and whether our typed message which is often a bid for friendship will be accepted or even acknowledged. But you have to open it to find out whether or not the person on the other side wants to sit around your coffee table, to use my analogy of blogging from last week, or just speak from the podium.

What do you think about comments? How about the experience of commenting?

54 thoughts on “It’s in the Comments”

  1. I like interacting with people and I have found commenting quite helpful with that. Although I do admit, I’m selective. So I’d most likely only comment on blogs that I really enjoyed or that made me interested personally! 🤗

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  2. I have recently started commenting on blogs of interest and I am frequently surprised when someone responds to my comments. I tend to think of writing in any form as a solitary activity and when someone wants to engage in my thought processes, I am pleasantly surprised. I have written A LOT in my life and for the most part, I cannot even get my kids to read what I write, so that made me think that maybe no one was interested.

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    1. A great point, Karen. Writing is so solitary that it is so nice to have that community in the comments. As for your kids – the great thing about writing is that it lasts, hopefully until they come full circle and realize that want to read it!

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    2. Most of the people in my orbit don’t read me. They especially don’t comment or engage. I’ve made peace with that because I have a tribe who does. Consistently. It is partly the reason I stay inspired. 🙂

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      1. I totally relate to your words. People close to me don’t read my books or my blog. I’m grateful for the people I connect with online. Some of the feedback I’ve gotten has been amazing and helps me to remember why I write!

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  4. I can remember feeling that I had to “know something” before commenting…especially if it was a very topical blog post. Yet when I let that go and jump in, ask questions and in general engage I have the opportunity to learn from others as well as get to know more about the author of the blog. I love that process. Honestly, some days I really just don’t have anything to add and I think that’s okay as well. I don’t mind allowing others around the table to carry the conversation! Thank you as well for building on my thoughts from yesterday. I’ve had a lot of those closed door moments through the years.

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    1. I love how you highlight letting it go, jump in and ask questions – that is some blogging wisdom about how to engage! And I agree, some days it’s fine to let others carry the conversation – another great extension of the analogy. Thanks for the comment – and for making me think!

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    2. The best comments are the ones that inspire and keep the communication going. Sometimes there isn’t time or nothing is left to say but that’s ok, no one (I don’t think) needs elaborate comments all the time.

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      1. Right – some subjects resonate more than others for sure! Claudette, I love what you say about comments that inspire and create conversation. Those are such fun threads!

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  5. I feel like I have made comment friends. I know some of the blogs I enjoy the most are the ones where we have a history of having comment conversations on each other’s blogs. I enjoy it and it keeps me writing and reading.

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  7. I enjoy interacting in comments – I think that’s the beauty of the blog format, the ability to hear others’ opinions and feedback and respond. It gives that community vibe which is nice.

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  8. Personally I had a hard time opening myself to comments at first, because I grew up with severe criticism. It was a leap of faith, and I have grown from it. I taught art to children and beginning adults before I started traveling and writing, and the personal human contact of learning/teaching is very rewarding. Yes, give me the coffee table. We are always learning from and teaching each other, and often in very unexpected way. It allows for the universe to work its magic. Thanks for your great writing. I love visiting your blog. 🙂

    Liked by 6 people

      1. That is so true about the tribe, Claudette! And it seems to ebb and flow as people move through their lives but it’s so fun to catch up!

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    2. I love this comment, Susan, about the growth that comes with comments! And your point that is in an unexpected way. I’m so grateful that you come to my coffee table and am getting to know you through your writing and comments!

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  9. I have also found that “a comment has expanded the envelope of my thinking.” I believe that comments are essential if we are to truly connect with other bloggers. There are times, though, when I fear that my comment may be regarded as offensive. But such is the risk of building relationships, even on the WordPress platform.

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    1. Such a good point about the risk of building relationships, Rosaliene. Just because we are typing them, doesn’t mean that we don’t take a chance that they’ll come off wrong!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I try to respect and appreciate the writer of comments. Respect includes being responsive, taking their ideas seriously, and offering them an alternative view if one comes to mind and is worthy of their consideration as I see it. Getting to know them from their words has, in some cases, been eye opening. There are many good, bright, and kind souls out there.

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    1. Respect is a good word for the process. There’s a space that opens in each comment for consideration and growth when that respect is present. I love and agree with your finding that there are many good, bright and kind souls out there!

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  11. I am open to comments, and often encourage them. Many of my post end with the following blurb “I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real-life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging”, as I know each of these pieces represents something…” I feel those who feel comfortable will share, those unsure will hit the like button, and those who are on the fence will read and simply move on. I also feel that if others have a comment section, they are open to hearing from others.

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    1. A good point that opening the comment space is optional. I like the way you describe the three ways people can react. I also think that with the quotes and snippets you offer, sometimes I have a delayed reaction. It’s made me think and my mind applies it throughout the day.

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      1. I too feel that way about many of the snippets I post that is why I welcome comments. I also dream of cataloging them all in a excel document as you have done with yours.

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  12. I think, Wynne, that comments bring that connection of community we all seek as writers. Sometimes finding a thought provoking post and getting involved in a conversation is as rewarding as writing one of your own posts.

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    1. I think you nailed it with this comment. The sense of the community and of extending a thought or inspiration further make comments so fun! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment here, Davy!

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  13. I love reading comments on my posts, which love I often fail to reflect in action such as, y’know, actually replying. I’m trying to improve this, because that is an important way I can both express gratitude and invite the building of deeper, sustaining bonds.

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  14. I don’t comment on a whole lot of blogs – and on social media – but when I do, I always appreciate the door that it opens up. Sometimes the door stays open, sometimes it closes… sometimes I close it. 😆 Digital communities have made socializing easier in some ways and I’m thankful for that!

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    1. I love how you extended the metaphor of the door to whether it stays open, closes or you close it. Yes, sometimes doors don’t stay open. You are right, it does make socializing across geographies and even time zones easier!

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  15. I love and relate to this idea of commenting as a “solid door” moment that requires courage. Commenting is stressful for me as an overthinker, as is responding to comments. I always worry about writing something that might be misinterpreted. And don’t get me started on “comment envy” — when I make the mistake of reading other comments and decide they are better crafted than mine. 😖😅

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    1. I’m laughing about comment envy – but now that you say it, I know what you mean! I would have never guessed that you would ever have paused about commenting because you always are so delightful, Natalie but I guess we all do it!

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  16. That’s an excellent comment Deb made. Totally true. I can’t say that I’ve worried too much about the comments I’ve left. It is more fun, though, when you get to know the person better and can leave more tailor-made comments. 🙂 The convos in the comments are the best part of blogging. 🙂

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  18. Hi Wynne,

    Thanks for sharing another thought-provoking post. I love reading comments about my posts, and I do my best to ensure that when I comment about a post that I consider the dear soul behind the writing. I hope to elevate the being, even if just a little, and encourage them to release even more of their inherent greatness. Of course, we all have different tastes in writing, which is good! Keeps life interesting and helps us learn.

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  19. Love the metaphor which can apply to so many of our experiences in life. Some of my short fiction explores this theme. As far as comments, I enjoy leaving them and try to be specific as I don’t think “Great post” offers much, though it is appreciated. A few of the commenters on my blog have become close friends. Funny, most readers seem to prefer contacting me through the Contact Form rather than leaving a comment….

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    1. What an interesting thing that you’ve noticed people reaching out through the contact form. I guess it’s a better vehicle for one-to-one communication instead of discussion. You are right, specific comments make the interaction more fun.

      Yes, the door/threshold holds a lot doesn’t it? Thank you so much for stopping by to read and comment!

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