Here and Now

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“How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now, and there will never be a time when it is not now.” Gerald Jampolsky

Last weekend as I was planting some new strawberry plants in a planter next to some well-established ones, the 8-year-old girl from next door reached out to gently finger the leaves. “I am going to move before these strawberries come” she said a little wistfully but not too sadly.

As I wrote about in the post The Long Good-bye, our neighbors and my daughter’s best friend are moving to a city 1,200 miles away in 3 months. Every time I see the girl, she says something about moving.

“I want to ride bikes to school again before we move.”

“I think we are going to start packing soon.”

“Eighty-seven days until we move.”

I asked my daughter how her friend feels about moving she says disappointed to be leaving but excited to have a bigger house. Watching this happy and social child talk about her family’s plans, I recall that before this move came to be, the farthest forward time I ever heard her mention was dinner that night.

I know leaving now to imagine what the future might be like is pointless. More than that, every time I give in to worry over the specifics of how it might come to be I feel the drain of energy and faith that pulls at me.

But there is nothing like watching a child leave right now to visit some fuzzy future to illustrate the point. I see her eyes get a little unfocused as she tries to imagine what her days will hold in this vision she has no control over. Then she gives an almost imperceptible shake and returns.

This little girl calls my daughter her soul sister and me her soul mother. Trying not to mother too much, I mentioned that we don’t even know if the strawberries will bear fruit this year but there were some inside right then if they wanted to taste the present.

27 thoughts on “Here and Now”

  1. See, Wynne, the power of your carefully chosen words and images. I was drawn in at this: “I am going to move before these strawberries come.” Breathe, breathe, breathe, Art….be NOW. Thank you for sharing more of your writing. 🙏

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  2. My daughter is an only child and as a child felt the absence of any sibling. She had a couple of best friends, who became “sisters-of-the-heart”. It was absolutely wonderful!

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  3. Oh, Wynne, you are a soul mama indeed 💜!

    Approximately 120 days before I move to a different country and my emotions are dueling it out too. Leaving now to imagine what the future might be like is the stuff of dreams and magic💫.

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    1. Natalie – I was thinking of you as I wrote this. I can’t imagine how hard it is to stay present when you have such a big endeavor and transition to a new life coming up. You are living the dream and creating the magic and I’m so grateful that we get to ride along with you!

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  4. Always difficult to allow the present to unfold and just experience it without thinking about the future. As with anything in life, balance is the key. The good thing is, your daughter’s friend, young as she is, has accepted that change is on the horizon. Her unfocused look is a wonderment of what will be and a missing of the present, and like all moves it will be bittersweet. How gracious of you Wynne to acknowledge her feelings and keep her grounded. She’ll always remember you both I’m certain.

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    1. Oh what a sweet and poetic comment, Alegria. Balance is the key – indeed. And when we remove ourselves from the moment whether it is to go to the future or past, it’s always nice to be able to blink it away and return to the present.

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  5. What a poignant strawberry sentiment from your daughter’s friend. No amount of adult rationalization is likely to make her pain disappear. But she is young and should grow into the next experience with time. Just being there for her in the meantime is probably the best one can do.

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    2. Indeed. And one never knows where life’s circuitous paths may lead them… A friend told me today that she just reconnected with a friend she hasn’t heard from since she was 21. There’s always hope?

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      1. Thank you, and yes, life has turns ahead one cannot imagine. I’ve had reunions after decades have passed and much else I never predicted.

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  6. I loved the way you ended this moment and this story with the offer to enjoy the strawberries in your fridge rather than wonder if the plant will bear fruit.

    Kids teach us so much about focusing on the here and now. Us adults need to remember to do more of that.

    There’s a great song in the broadway shot Rent that’s titled No Day But Today and it really does apply to our daily life.

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    1. Thanks, Ab! I had to look up that song – it’s wonderful! And yes, we adults do need to remember to do more of the here and now!! Hope you are having a good week!

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  7. Soul mother 🥰 That has to be one of best compliments possible! I love how you tried to minimize the potential loss by saying there may not be any fruit…

    When my parents purchased their last car, they said that this is going to be the last car they would purchase, and more than so many other signs of our mortality, that one really stuck with me. It’s interesting how those “lasts” mean something different at different stages of life?

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    1. Oh, this comment grabbed me by the heart. Wow, you have put it so well – “lasts” mean something different at different stages of life. Yes, for these kids it’s really just a “see you later” but fascinating to watch the process.

      And yes, you are so right – I’m completely honored to be a soul mother!

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  8. Having been through several big moves myself, the secret is to not get caught up in those specifics. If you do, you’ll never have the courage to take the next step! One day at a time. Hell, one breath at a time.

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    1. Right! And you moved around quite a bit as a kid too, right? It’s funny to see this kid try to get a handle on it – and then come back to playing since there really isn’t anything she can do. The one breath at a time thing is perfect.

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    1. What a generous and beautiful comment, Betsy. Your suggestion of Divine blessing and comfort is so precious and perfect! Yes, may God bless this adventure and next chapter for our neighbor and her family! Thanks, my friend!

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