The Outer View

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“To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle.” – George Orwell

I sent this picture to my mom. She wrote back that it looked like something that could be on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post. I laughed because I snapped it to capture one sweet moment that was somewhat unusual in the typical the after-dinner chaos.

Life always looks easier from the outside, doesn’t it?

I think of a picture I took of a friend at a beach on a school field trip (back a few years ago when we could do those). She was sitting on a log with her two children nestled in her arms and I texted the picture to her adding that she looked like the quintessential mom. Her reality was probably that she was struggling to keep her children warm on a cold June day and to feed them without dropping anything into the sand.

Which is right? The inner view or the outer view?

The more I meditate, the more that I’ve come to believe that the outer view holds great promise. When meditation helps me drop the dialogue in my head that is always taking me out of the moment by planning for the next thing I need to do or recovering from the last thing that went wrong, I can see the outer view. Like in the case of the picture, I was still recalibrating after getting my kids to stop vying for a turn on the piano and also calculating how long til we started our bedtime routines.

It seems like there is a healthy and an unhealthy way to think of the outer view of our lives. The unhealthy way is to work hard to make everything appear in a certain way and then use other people’s perceptions to check to see if we are meeting up.

The healthy way is to get a glimpse every once in a while of what a trusted person sees in order to be reminded of what is so delightful about this moment.

So here’s a moment of my picture perfect life. There are other moments that aren’t as sweet but I bet when I look back on this time, this is how I’ll remember it.

16 thoughts on “The Outer View”

  3. There’s so much truth in this post, Wynne. We all bring our own experiences and expectations to every scene we come across. It’s important to remember that there’s more than one interpretation.

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  4. Lovely photo, lucky kids. The search for truth and justice? What could be more difficult as we try to find the uncertain balance between justice and just-us.

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  5. Great insight, Wynne! My son has a 21 month old and when I comment on the cuteness of the photos he sends me he’ll sometimes give me the lowdown of all the chaos that transpired right before the shot was taken. What I tell him is pretty much what you summed up in your last paragraph… But this is how you’ll remember this moment. 😊

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  6. That is a magazine worthy and adorable photo indeed, Wynne. I concur with your mom.

    I think social media has really amplified this “picture perfect” view that is projected out to the world that does not reflect reality – and that has created so much issues about mental health.

    You are wise to recognize that beneath a perfect picture likes imperfect realities – but the beauty of these beautiful photos is that when you look at these moments one day, you will remember and focus on the positives!

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  7. It’s probably safe to say that behind every photo and behind every face, there is a back story—in both cases some lovely, and some not so much. Your post reminds me to stop and ask myself if my perception of another comes from what my eyes see, or from what my soul discerns? Hmm. Interesting question. Thanks for making me think!

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