It’s Love Calling

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“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

To some degree I always write about what I don’t understand in hopes that the words on the page will put some order to the giant gaping hole of the mysteries that I can’t comprehend.

But today I’m writing about a bigger mystery than usual. The best I can hope for with these words is just to describe the size and shape of something that I can’t fully grasp.

The other day my phone rang. I’m notorious for not answering my phone especially when, as was the case here, it’s just a number and not attached to anyone in my contact list. So I didn’t answer, there was no voice mail. It rang again, there was no voice mail. It rang again an hour later from the same number. I knew in my bones after the second call who it was so the third time I picked it up.

It was my friend Bill and he just said, “Wynne” in this deep voice that sounds like it could be the voice of God. And I replied, “I knew it was you calling.”

This friend only calls me about once every five years. When he calls, it’s always from a new number so it never comes up as a name. And yet, somehow I always know it’s him.

In the five years since he last called, I had another baby, my son. And he’s moved twice to different countries. Now he lives halfway around the world in Eastern Europe.  

I ask him about his parents who I’ve never met. He tells me through tears that he lost both of them 7 months apart a couple years back. He asks me about work and I tell him I’m doing the same thing — it doesn’t feed my soul but it feeds my kids. So I tell him that I’m writing.

In worldly terms, we don’t know each other that well.  We’ve maybe spent a dozen days together over 25 years. But we have this deep connection that was instantly apparent when we met.

It’s something I can only describe in metaphors. The connection is like plugging into a bolt of lightening when you only need a 200 amp current. The results are apt to blow a circuit and also are a little dangerous. It’s a mistake we made when we were younger and tried dating only to find it chaotic and unworkable. He’s a road sign, not a destination.

When he calls it’s always at a point when I’ve gotten so busy playing the roles I have in life that I’ve forgotten that there is a core, central “me” that is lovable.

The calls remind me to come alive in a way that is more than what I do. They speak to me of great love even though its quite clear that we will never be in each other’s lives on a daily basis. It’s more that we share the same core so when he calls it sparks some primal memory in me to remember to take care of that precious center of my life. The sacred space in me that touches the sacred space in others.

The connection we share is inexplicable in practical terms. There should be no way that we can speak so deeply to each other and be a reminder of anything. The only thing that rings true is that it’s a spiritual connection that affirms that God is Love and Love is God.

In the end, I said to him. “Thank you for calling until I picked up.” And he replied, “I will always call you until you pick up.”

I’ll close with the final text he sent me after the call. I had written to him, “I suspect possible in our comprehension is a small sample of what is truly possible in the Universe. And you are evidence of that gift.”

And he replied, “That I am the evidence that is closely related to the everything that you must give daily, is the best of compliments. You, Wynne, creator, inventor, leader and human are truly one of the most beautiful humans I know! Thank you for finding me.”

I bet that we won’t communicate again for another 5 years. And that will be enough. Because maybe what we remind each other of isn’t anything about the specifics in life, it’s the big picture Life where love reigns and we are all known in our core.

37 thoughts on “It’s Love Calling”

  2. Oh my, Wynne. There simply are no words to so profound a message. All I can say is how wonderful it is to have such a persistent, faithful Road Sign in your life—one that reminds you of your destination as you travel on your spiritual journey. It is crystal clear to me that you have powerful, caring, loving friends looking after you each step along the way—and it seems to me that your absent friend is a soul mate who has been with you for many, many lifetimes, and what a blessed reminder he is. Thank you for sharing this story.

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    1. Oh my, Julia. Now you have me crying!! Thank you for giving me the space to share this story and sending back such affirmation and encouragement! Sending the same back to you! ❤

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  4. An absolutely beautiful depiction of love. Such a warm and touching story Wynne about the connection of two souls. What’s exceptionally beautiful is that there is such great acceptance here. You both accept what you have right now and don’t push it to become something else. Doing so could possibly destroy it. That is love. Pure and beautiful. And that it allows you to recognize your core when it gets lost in the mundane is something to hold on to. Such a lovely raw and open post.

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    1. I love the perspective you provide here. “What’s exceptionally beautiful is that there is such great acceptance here. You both accept what you have right now and don’t push it to become something else. Doing so could possibly destroy it. That is love. Pure and beautiful.” I hadn’t thought of that so thank you for reading, commenting, and weighing in on the mystery. It just makes it echo and build even more! ❤

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  5. Thanks for sharing this Wynne.
    I too have been undeservedly blessed with such precious ‘Road Signs’ placed along my life’s journey, often on the ‘unpaved’ sections, that encourage and remind me that I never travel alone, and “…all things work together for good…” in His merciful care.

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    1. Oh, I love knowing that you have had “road signs” as well. I like how you extend that metaphor to the unpaved sections — yes. And your reminder that all things work together for good. Thank you, Fred!

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  6. What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing something so deeply vulnerable and personal.

    Love is a spectrum and exists in many different ways – as your friendship with Bill illustrates.

    It’s wonderful that he kept calling until you picked up and I am glad that you did pick up!

    Human connection is a strange and often contradictory thing. Sometimes you can be a stranger with someone you see so often and sometimes you have a connection that you can quickly pick right back up with someone who should be a stranger.

    I hope the rest of your day gives you some deeper reflection on the call.

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    1. Ab, I love what you said, “Human connection is a strange and often contradictory thing. Sometimes you can be a stranger with someone you see so often and sometimes you have a connection that you can quickly pick right back up with someone who should be a stranger.” That is so true – and sometimes I just expect it to make more sense! Thanks for adding this wisdom! And thanks for letting me share this story!

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  7. Thanks for sharing this moment, Wynne, and a friendship that transcends time and space. We focus so much on our material world and its demands that we often fail to acknowledge our deeper spiritual connections.

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  9. Wow! We often feel that love relationships with someone needs to be romantic, but the ethereal kind of love where no illusions of a day to day relationship exist, bit which nourish the spirit, are truly rare! I do not have this so I’m happy that you do!

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  10. These long-term friendships are treasures. They give us perspective no matter how much time has passed. I have a couple high school girlfriends like this. I remember the years I did work that didn’t feed my soul but fed my kids. Your soul waits patiently for the day when you will have the freedom to feed your soul well.

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  12. To know someone and to be known is a rare gift. Your post got me thinking about some long time friendships that

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  13. Oops … I hit send by mistake. … long time friendships that I have with people that are like family to me and know me better than I know myself sometimes. We don’t communicate often either but they ground me and remind me of who I am at my core. Thank you for a thought provoking post.

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    1. I’m so glad my post brought to mind those precious friendships. I hope that it was a therapeutic touch to your core as I’m sure with all you do, sometimes you need a reminder just like I do! Sending my best!

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  14. This is a beautiful and wonderful story, Wynne. I will surely read it again and again. I am not religious, but the core soul connection of love and friendship here is what touched my heart. I have this with someone, and at times have lamented the fact we are not together. But then I realize how grateful I am for being “together” in the way that’s meant to be. Thank you for this!❤❤

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    1. I can really relate to your lament. I did that with Bill when we were younger. I wanted to smash what we share into a recognizable container and that was a relationship. But I love your comment about being grateful for being “together”. It really speaks to me. Thank you for reading and this gift of a comment.

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  15. Wow. That is amazing and fascinating. Relationships are so complicated and strange, wonderful and confusing. It’s got to be kind of hard when something doesn’t fit into a cookie cutter mold. Like, you have a love for each other that’s beyond a standard friendship, and is sort of romantic, but not quite. Hollywood would say you have to wind up together, but of course you know that’s not the case. I guess what’s left is to be grateful to have this person in your life who does such a great job of affirming you every now and then, perhaps when you most need it. Your quote at the top is perfection. Thank you for alerting me to this post. I’m sorry I had missed it. It’s wonderful. 🙂 ❤

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    1. Betsy, I think of you as my “love expert” so I’m so grateful you came to take a look at this one. You said it perfectly – this relationship doesn’t fit into any mold that I’m familiar with. And yet it serves a beautiful role every now and then. Thank you for reading and commenting! ❤

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      1. “Love expert”-ha! I wonder how Hubby would react to that title. 😛 It’s nice that you have someone special like that in your life who takes the time to check in every now and then. No doubt you are mutually beneficial to one another.

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