Exceptions

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“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” – Alice Walker

My mom doesn’t get hot meals often these days. In her senior living residence that is so concerned about COVID, meals either come in boxes delivered to her door and then she can microwave them or on the rare evenings she can go to the dining room, the kitchen is so short-staffed the food comes out lukewarm.

So I worked hard to make a great, hot meal for my mom when she came over for dinner last night. Not that she complains about the food at her place but I know she is tired of cold meals in boxes after two years of this protocol.

My rule at our house is that no devices are allowed during meals. My son, tired after his first day back to daycare, protested that rule but it was short-lived and we got everyone to the table.

Mid-way through the meal, my daughter was done, left the table and was playing around while the rest of us ate. My mom was telling me a story and went to pull out her phone to find a meme that was in her story. My son was distracted by what my daughter was doing and might not have noticed but I put my hand over my moms and quietly reminded her of the rule.

I felt a twinge of embarrassment enforcing my own rule with my mother who I was trying hard to please. It’s not like my mom is always on her phone. It’s also quite possible that the kids wouldn’t have noticed. And, I had the power to make the exception.

But it struck me that’s the thing with leadership that’s important – to live by the rules that you set even when you have the power not to have to. And although I rarely feel like I have any power, I do have the responsibility of living up to the standards that I set, which is a power in and of itself.

It was fine – my mom just told me the meme. It was about Barack Obama writing Betty White a birthday card when she turned 90 years old. In it he said he couldn’t believe she was 90. In fact, he was so skeptical that he thought she should send him a copy of her birth certificate. 😊

(featured photo by Pexels)

14 thoughts on “Exceptions”

  1. “….the thing with leadership that’s important – to live by the rules that you set even when you have the power not to have to. And although I rarely feel like I have any power, I do have the responsibility of living up to the standards that I set, which is a power in and of itself.”

    Amen Wynne. often a challenging responsibly to follow, but we best lead by example, and your two precious little ones are watching.

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  2. I’m glad you got to have your mom over. I bet she really appreciated the hot meal you made for her. Those cold boxed meals get tiresome after a while.

    No devices on the dining table is definitely a hard rule to follow! But good for you for striving to lead by example. 😊🙏

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  3. That’s so cute your mom knows memes😁

    I think meals might be the most meaningful time of day to have no-screen. And kids will always watch what the adults are doing so it’s wise to keep the rule consistent

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    1. Ha, ha – you are so right. It is cute that she knows memes at age 82!

      I like what you say about meaningful time. That is right on! Thanks LiziRose!

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  5. Beautiful post!
    I am glad you had quality time with her over a well deserved hot meal.
    I like the following sentence:
    “I do have the responsibility of living up to the standards that I set, which is a power in and of itself.”
    Because, although you could have made an exception for your mum and your children wouldn’t have noticed it, you knew that it constitutes you breaking the rule that you have set.
    Well done for not giving up your power.
    Regards to your mum.
    Chaya

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a lovely comment, Chaya. “Well done for not giving up your power” is such an interesting way that you’ve put it. But exactly.

      Thanks for reading and commenting. Best to you!

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