“Go into yourself and see how deep the place is from which your life flows.” – Rainier Maria Rilke

Last night we had a family party to celebrate birthdays for my mom and me. My daughter had very carefully planned what to wear – a pink dress with a delicate white cardigan and was getting dressed when she asked me what her brother was going to wear. When I told her that he was wearing his Hawaiian shirt which is pretty much the only button down shirt he has, she said disappointedly, “Awww, everyone is going to say ‘wow, what a cute baby.’ “

I gulped because there was something so familiar in her small complaint. Doesn’t it always seem like someone else at a party has it easier? Someone who navigates the introductions, conversations and transitions without anxiety. Someone who naturally draws the attention and even if I don’t want to be the center of attention, it’s hard not be just a little bit envious.

This weekend I listened again to the On Being podcast with Krista Tippett and Yale sociologist Nicholas Christakis. He made the point that for us to be social, we have to be individual. That is to say, to be able to recognize each other we have to notice the differences between us. Otherwise, the mom feeds the wrong baby or we can’t tell which person is our friend.

But it seems like we pay a price for always noticing differences. It breeds comparison, competition and envy. It fosters the feeling of scarcity because someone else always has more. Speaking personally, it takes a lot of continual work to overcome the system and rest assured that I have enough love, possessions and worth. That might be in a nutshell what drives me back to faith – to find the unity and Divine love that is common to all of us.

I didn’t have any words for my daughter’s comment. I gave her a big hug and we went to the party. She was right, that was exactly what everyone said about her brother. But she made herself useful and got plenty of attention. Better than anything I could say was the experience that there is more than enough love to go around, we just have to show up to feel it.