Tag: grammar

Each of my dad’s humor notecards has a notation of when he used them, all part of his system to make sure he didn’t ruin the fun by repeating himself. This card of doctor notes shows that he used it several times for different sermons and classes. I can see why – they had me laughing out loud!

Doctor’s notes on patient’s charts (actual notes – unedited)

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
5. Discharge status: alive but without permission.
6. The patient refused an autopsy.
7. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
8. Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
9. She is numb from her toes down.
10. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
11. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
12. I saw your patient today, who is still under our Car for physical therapy.
13. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
14. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
15. Skin; somewhat pale but present.
16. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
17. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.