“Things are always in transition. Nothing ever sums itself up the way we dream about.” – Pema Chodron
Yesterday I delivered a presentation on mountain climbing to Miss O’s class at school. My friend, Doug, who I’ve done a lot of my climbing adventures with, joined me and we had a talk filled with pictures, a lot of equipment, and stories. We also had the most enthusiastic audience of second graders (Natalie, Chaya, Belle and all the other teachers out there, hats off to you for years of being teachers to these young and energetic minds).
Miss O had been so excited all week. She’d told me and her teacher that she’d written “best week ever” over her mood meter assignment. And then when Doug came to stay the night before the presentation and we started packing our climbing gear, she extended that to this was going to make 2nd grade the best grade ever!
So it surprised me when Miss O had to step out of the room to collect herself in the middle of the presentation. Through teary eyes, she told me that she felt that Doug was bypassing her when he handed out all the equipment. Which might have been true to some degree since she’d handled all the stuff the night before.
But I think it was more that her expectations were SO high. And I think she had a picture for a part that she’d play in the presentation or how it would reflect on her that didn’t quite match to reality. She modeled my climbing parka but mostly she was a participant.
This reminded me of every big occasion in my life – parties, birthdays, holidays, presentations – I’ve always felt a let down when they passed and I was still the same person afterwards. All that looking forward to something and then I’m still me with my same life when its done.
I’m projecting here because these aren’t the words Miss O used when we talked about it later but I think it’s a fairly common experience after we look forward to something. As Pema Chodron says in the quote for this post, “Nothing ever sums itself up the way we dream about.” There’s a mismatch between how we imagine in and how we experience it, and more than that, there’s an exhale after its done and before we find the next thing to look forward to.
At the end of the presentation, I told the story of friendship brownies. It was the climb that Doug and I were doing and we were climbing on Doug’s birthday. His wife asked him to carry some brownies to celebrate and he said “no” because he’s vigilant about only carrying what’s necessary. So she asked me and I said, “Sure” because we sometimes carry weight for our friends when they can’t or won’t do it themselves.
Miss O passed out the friendship brownies to the class and so it all ended well. Then she asked me to tell the story of the guy who was dancing with his toilet paper and I think those 2nd graders might have liked that one the most! Hard to tell whether ending with potty stories meant we ended on a high note or low one but the audience, including my delightful daughter, was pleased.
Surprised By Joy 