Category: humor

I came across my dad’s “humor” notecards this week. Humor was often my dad’s way into a sermon or talk, creating a shared laugh so that the audience could exhale into the moment. Holding these notecards that I’ve had tucked away these many years since we cleaned off his desk, I felt the same release of distance as I laughed at these items that reflect his gentle sense of humor.

Here are two items from his stack:

A 12-year-old was coming out of church with his father and saw a large board with rows of little name plates. He asked his dad what it meant and his father replied, “Those are the names of people from our church who died in the service.” The boy paused then asked, “Which one – the 9:30 or the 11?”

Things I Learned as a Child

1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let your mom brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never asks a three-year-old to hold a tomato.
5. Whether she’s real or not, you should believe in the tooth fairy if you like money.
6. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
7. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
8. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
9. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
10. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.