Slowing Down in Order to Get There

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“When feeling urgent, you must slow down.” – Mark Nepo

About 25 years ago, I had to travel to France for a business trip. The conference that I was presenting at was in Nice. I tacked on a few extra days to spend time in Paris before I met my colleagues in the south of France.

I enjoyed Paris immensely. When it came time to fly to Nice, I arrived at the airport on the afternoon of my scheduled flight to discover that there was a transportation strike and no flights were leaving.

My high-school French language skills weren’t all that good when I was actively taking classes and 15 years later, they sucked. So I was stuck in an airport ticket line trying to speak or understand enough French to find a solution. Needless to say, I wasn’t getting anywhere.

There was a young American woman behind me who was also scheduled to fly to Nice. Stymied by the French “je ne sais pas” answer to all our questions about when we could fly, we decided to rent a car and drive there.

Time has erased my memories of how we actually got the car. But that was the night that I learned that France is a bigger country than I thought. We drove all night long and arrived at 5am the next morning. I was completely wiped out. Two days later I gave my presentation and immediately threw up afterwards. It wasn’t anything serious – I just was completely spent.

I’d like to say that I learned a lesson about brute forcing solutions to my problems that night. I didn’t. But it was the first clue in a long list of situations from which I started to learn about the roadblocks in life. Sometimes when we’re aiming to get somewhere, trying harder isn’t the only way to do it.

I’ve come to appreciate the wisdom from poet Mark Nepo in The Book of Awakening:

“When feeling urgent, you must slow down.

I learned this, over and over, during the many crises of cancer. Unless someone is bleeding or can’t breathe, unless there is some true physical requirement to act swiftly, a sense of urgency is a terrible illusion, a trick that happens, again and again, because life inside our skin and outside our skin are forever different.”

The month of March often leaves me feeling urgent. It feels like a long stutter step on the transition to better days – or at least longer ones. This post is my reminder to slow down and just let it come.

(featured photo from Pexels)

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45 thoughts on “Slowing Down in Order to Get There”

  1. Oof driving all night? That’s brutal. I wish someone had pointed you both in the direction of the trains, you’d have had a much more pleasant experience! Slower or alternate doesn’t necessarily mean harder! Sometimes there’s an easy way too! Glad you had a few pleasant days beforehand to enjoy yourself!

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      1. 😉maybe you will return and get a chance to travel by train!

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  2. Sometimes situations like this depend on who one is with. A frazzled partner can cause the other to take charge and slow down. A calm partner can take over and direct the human traffic. No matter. You made it where you were going and gave your presentation, learning all the way. You are a winner, Wynne.

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  3. Such wise words from Nepo. Nothing of quality gets done when the mind is in an urgent frantic state. Taking time to slow down – breathe and recalibrate – often does the trick.

    Your France adventure sounded just like that, a great adventure. I too am staggered that Paris is not the only part in France. 🤣 And how useless elementary school French is after years of no practice

    Hope you three enjoy the short week and long weekend ahead! 🐇

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  4. In the world of motors and engines, there is something (I think) it’s called a governor. It only allow the vehicle to go so fast..don’t care how hard you push in the accelerator pedal . I had one of those installed in my brain when I was in my early 30’s… I hit the way physically/ emotionally/spiritually and had to completely step away from everything I was doing. It was not a fun time. But I learned a valuable lesson. When I start to feel the pressures of life really begin to squeeze now, I pay attention, and back off. Say no, say I’m sorry, I would love to but just can’t, take a nap. Take a 2nd nap 🙂 sometimes things still start to get crazy and it’s not of my making..then, well, I just do the best I can…..but before that earlier experience I alluded to, a lot of it was of my own making. Just last week I started to feel that pressure building. this time my mind went to bandwidths..(I love using word pictures on myself to help process stuff) .sure enough, when I started to get all of the things down on paper that were causing me stress, there was quite a bit , in several categories… Just the act of putting it down on paper helped me to visualize and took a lot of the emotional pressure off. Hugs to you Wynne. DM

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    1. Oh, such a wise comment. I love your word pictures. Governors, bandwidth and writing it down – and naps. Thank you for adding these thoughts and ideas to help take the pressure off. I appreciate you, Doug!

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  7. “When feeling urgent, you must slow down.” Very wise words indeed. I remember being ridiculed many years ago at work for saying that feeling overwhelmed is the time to pause, take a breath, and ask yourself if there’s a better way to get things done. I still believe that to be true, and it seems Nepo agrees with me.

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  11. I’ve never heard the phrase, “When feeling urgent, you must slow down,” but it’s brilliant. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way… and, somehow, despite losing the “go, go, go” mentality, I still am just as productive, though perhaps in more intentional directions. I suspect it’s very much the same for you, Wynne. Go easy on yourself!

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    1. It was fun to do contracts with Microsoft back in the day…

      Somewhere in the middle of France at about 2 in the morning we stopped to get gas and encountered some Americans wearing UCLA garb. We stopped to chat for a bit – I can’t remember what they were doing but the whole thing was surreal!

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  18. Life gives us plenty of opportunities in facing roadblocks. One can plan everything out to a tee, and something out of our control can suddenly force us to make adjustments on the fly.

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  19. I feel a similar urgency during the month of March. It’s such a mixed up month with winter and spring sparring, and there’s a bit of anxiety when planning “Will I have to plan for 70 degrees or 10 degrees, snow or rain or sun”… And it seems to affect my loved ones as well. I find myself taking a lot of deep breaths… Thanks for helping me feel like I’m not the only one that feels this way, and for the reminder to slow down.

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