How to Share Personal Stories

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“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable but they’re never weaknesses.” – Brené Brown

Growing up as a pastor’s kid, I was grateful that my dad had a protective sense of what family stories should be told in a sermon. If we did something funny, he might use it in a sermon. But if we did something wrong or outrageous, he wouldn’t.

I’m sure that informs a good deal of my judgment of what personal stories I share. And as bloggers we’re well steeped in the art of personal sharing. Right?

But until I started researching how to share personal stories for the How To Share podcast, I’d say I was mostly deciding what and when to share by gut feel. So it was helpful and interesting to find some expert guidance about some of the boundaries for personal stories.

Here are the questions I set out to answer:

  • What’s the difference between private and secret?
  • How does one know if they are being vulnerable or oversharing?
  • Should people share personal stories at work?

And here are some of the takeaways for the How to Share Personal Stories episode:

  • Sharing is essential for connection and understanding.
  • What is secret and what is private varies by person.
  • Vulnerability can foster deeper relationships.
  • Oversharing can lead to discomfort and misunderstanding.
  • Timing and context are crucial in sharing personal stories.
  • Discernment is key when feeling an urge to share.
  • Workplace friendships enhance job satisfaction and retention.
  • Personal stories can create strong bonds in professional settings.
  • Full circle moments highlight the impact of our stories.
  • Vulnerability is vital for mental health and connection.

I provide a couple of personal anecdotes to illustrate the expert insights and explore the nuances of sharing personal stories. I’d be honored if you’d listen, watch, provide feedback and subscribe.

Here are some ways you can listen and watch:

Stay tuned for next week’s episode when we get great guidance from corporate communications professional, Brian Hannon, on how to share professional communications. It’s such a helpful and informative episode to help illuminate the how, when, and way we reach out to broader groups!

How to Share Our Luck with Gil Gillenwater – How To Share

In this enlightening conversation, Gil Gillenwater is with host Wynne Leon and shares his experiences and insights from over 35 years of philanthropic work along the US-Mexico border. He discusses his book, 'Hope on the Border,' which highlights the transformative power of education and community service. Gil emphasizes the importance of enlightened self-interest over traditional charity, advocating for a model that empowers individuals and fosters dignity. He explores the duality of poverty, the need for sustainable opportunities, and the joy found in serving others, ultimately presenting a vision for a more connected and compassionate world.TakeawaysEducation is the key to breaking the cycle of poverty.Enlightened self-interest can lead to personal and communal growth.Charity should not be viewed as a sacrifice but as a mutual benefit.Volunteering provides a sense of purpose and fulfillment.Welfare can disempower individuals and communities.Community service fosters connections and shared humanity.The disparity in wealth is a significant issue that needs addressing.Experiencing poverty firsthand can change perspectives.Creating opportunities in one's home country can reduce migration.The joy of service is a pathway to personal happiness.Links for this episode:How to Share homeHope on the Border at AmazonGil's organization: Rancho FelizGil Gillenwater on FacebookWynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith; Blog: https://wynneleon.com/; Substack: https://wynneleon930758.substack.com/
  1. How to Share Our Luck with Gil Gillenwater
  2. How to Share 1970's Chicago with Doug. E. Jones
  3. How to Share Feedback with Dr. Vicki Atkinson
  4. How to Share the Next Generation with Mari Sarkisian Wyatt
  5. How to Share Impactfully with Social Media Friends with Amy Weinland Daughters

Links for this episode:

 Is It a Secret or Just Private? | Psychology Today – Michael Slepian, Ph.D.

Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make – and Keep – Friends by Dr. Marisa Franco, professor of psychology at the University of Maryland who has written about vulnerability versus oversharing

 The Increasing Importance of a Best Friend at Work by Gallup

61 thoughts on “How to Share Personal Stories”

  1. It is so true that it can cause great discomfort when someone overshares.

    Most (okay, almost all) my stories have a personal element without going too deep and hopefully, I don’t make anyone feel any discomfort at all (most of the times, I hope to get a chuckle) 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  3. I’m so jazzed to listen to this episode! I think it’s what I need right now, but didn’t realize until I saw this post. Thanks Wynne and Vicki!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This was very interesting, Wynne! The differences in sharing and oversharing (I need you to like me, so I’m going to spill the beans on everything!) rings true. Your story about the nurse working in the fertility clinic “seeing” her work for the first time was an amazing personal story to share – SO good! And motivations to share personal stories can vary. I think that the intent on why I am willing to be vulnerable and share comes from the hope that someone can relate, feel better, or learn something of use; even if it’s 3 people out of 500. Thanks, Wynne. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Melanie — what an incredible point about the intent. You’re right – we share so that others don’t feel alone. But you’re right – it doesn’t land for everyone. Thanks for the great food for thought and for listening. I appreciate it so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. An excellent discussion. As a job search facilitator, I often shared personal stories abut my job searches in the past, my success with goal setting and how I managed stepping out of my comfort circle. The job seekers often mentioned that my stories made them feel that they weren’t alone in their feelings about being unemployed and looking for work. I was careful not to talk about other people in my life as that would have been inappropriate. My husband thinks I share too much at times but it’s my personality.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Isn’t it interesting how that line on privacy varies by person? I can totally see why your stories would help job seekers feel comforted. And then draw the line about other people. Brilliant, Darlene! Thanks for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. all things I’ve pondered over the years and continued to ponder. you’ve helped to clear up the differences here.

    oversharing is something that I’ve worked to overcome in my later in life dating experiences, and I think that I’ve done it in the past for the very reasons you’ve stated, but I’ve learned that there’s really no need to do it, but only through trial an error of course.

    the difference between privacy and secrecy is another important distinction, such as great show today –

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Thanks for bringing up this topic, Wynne. It’s an important one. In addition to the sensitivities you rightly mention, with the ubiquitousness of technology and AI, there’s the concern of how personal information – and personal images – can be misused or abused for identity theft or even creating fake images. Lots to think about. Maybe too much! 😳

    Liked by 1 person

  13. This is such a valuable post. My daughter told me years ago that she was not “content” for my blog. Yes, I agree that sharing information is a very personal thing and varies with every individual.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Thanks for this, Wynne! I believe in being transparent and authentic, but I’ve learned over the years to be mindful of what I share. If it doesn’t feel right, or I hear that still, small voice say not to share, I don’t. Looking forward to watching the podcast. Have a wonderful weekend!🌸💕💗

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I use this method often in the classroom. Connecting my own experiences to learning and growth. Earlier this week a student mispronounced a word and the class laughed, it reminded me of memory I have of fourth grade when I did the same thing with the same result. But the teacher did nothing and I’ve have never forgotten that moment and how I felt. A few years ago, I learned the teacher had an elementary school named for her. I was and still am disappointed.

    I gently admonished my students for laughing and shared the story at the moment. We all make mistakes, every last one of us. I have forgiven Mrs. Drabek and I hope my kiddos can forgive each other and me for our missteps. We have got to grow and reflect and get better every day and it begins with forgiveness. Thank you for sharing. Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    2. Wow – Clay, that is a great story! So relatable. I love that you translated your story into such compassionate action today. Thank you so much for listening — and for sharing this story with me. It helps so much!

      Like

  17. Thanks for opening this topic, and for sharing all the resources you’ve provided, Wynne. As you point out, different environments offer different levels of sharing.
    I appreciate the blogging community’s willingness to share the things – that make us human, helps us understand each other, and encourages friendships….❤️
    As a reader, I enjoy long thoughtful posts and long engaging comments. The question of whether I’m reading someone’s ‘oversharing’ or ‘vulnerabilities’, doesn’t cross my mind. I feel like I’m reading their heart and mind. And that feels important, special, sacred… 💞💞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love this comment, Rose! Especially, “I feel like I’m reading their heart and mind. And that feels important, special, sacred… 💞💞” Isn’t it wonderful when we can enter that sacred place with our fellow bloggers? It makes this such a worthwhile experience. Thanks for your thoughts!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, this took me a moment to understand! No, I wasn’t thinking of that story but I’m laughing now. We just had to get back to talking about your amazing book! 🙂

      Like

  19. So, I listened to the podcast last night, and it was great. I really liked your discussion about secrecy vs. privacy. You mentioned teammates not sharing information and files at work, that was something I hated during my career. Hoarding information and resources is dangerous. I used to tell people, “What happens if you get sick and can’t come to work? Do we need to stop a project until you’re back, or worse, start from scratch?”

    It’s amazing how many people think this is okay, even at home, where a spouse might hide information about life insurance, a will, power of attorney, etc. These actions put others in difficult situations. Sharing is important.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, you are so right on, Edward! It’s amazing how foundational it is that we share (all of the stuff you mention are great examples) and then we still need to practice how to do it. I so appreciate you listening and this incredibly spot on comment! Thank you, my friend! ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Timing is important. I’ve found that what is unacceptable to share today, that is would upset a friend now, will be no problem in a year after the situation has been more fully processed. Also my mantra about telling any story is: when in doubt, don’t. It limits what I’ll talk about but helps me to not cross boundaries, my own or other people’s.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you so much, Todd! Solo podcasting ISN’T easy – dang, it’s vulnerable. Most of my episodes will be with others, thankfully, but I really appreciate you letting me know this worked too! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Many thanks for the podcast and all information here Wynne. I need to allocate my time to listen and read all as journaling has been a lifeline to me during some very difficult times in the past. Always the difficulties and consideration of privacy and secrecy along with decency and such fine boundary lines at times. Not easy at all but sometimes needs must.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love how you put it, Margaret. “Always the difficulties and consideration of privacy and secrecy along with decency and such fine boundary lines at times. Not easy at all but sometimes needs must.”

      Yes – that’s exactly the balance, isn’t it? Thanks for the great comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  23. I love the checklist of questions and considerations to think about before sharing personal stories.

    I find we live in an age now of sharing and vulnerability, which I think is fantastic but it’s also good to think about when to share, what to share, and to whom and how.

    The Gallup Poll finding is interesting and reinforces to me why certain teams do well and others don’t. I see this on a daily basis. Work friendships make such a difference in job satisfaction and vulnerability and openness, including from leaders, matter.

    I had to laugh at your opening story about sharing your divorce right after the weather checkin. You’ve learned a lot since then, I bet!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for this amazing feedback, Ab. I love that you see the difference that friendships at work make too. And you’re right – I have learned a lot since that first date but you have to start somewhere, right?? 🙂 Thanks for listening!

      Liked by 1 person

  24. A great podcast, Wynne, and useful takeaways. I’m definitely guilty of oversharing. 🙂 I like how you point out that there’s a difference between private and secret that is up to each individual. There’s a lot to consider before sharing personal stories. Thanks for sharing about sharing! 🥰

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, I for one think you do a great job of navigating that line, Lauren! Thank you so much for listening and for this feedback! It really helps!

      Like

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