Transforming Criticism into Creative Fuel

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“Focus more on the people who inspire you rather than annoy. You’ll get much further in life.” – Kristen Butler

This was originally published on another site on 12/13/2023. Heads up – you may have already read this.

I was listening to social scientist and author, Arthur Brooks talk with Oprah on her Super Soul Sunday podcast. He was talking about the human tendency towards negativity bias. His example was something like we go to a lovely holiday dinner and have a great time – except for the 20 minutes when Aunt Polly went on a rant. And what do we remember afterwards? Aunt Polly’s rant.

I suppose I knew this to some degree before but it was gratifying to find out that this isn’t just a me thing. It’s a survival mechanism that helps us identify the sticky spots. Safe to say, it’s a little maladaptive at times in our modern society.

I realized that one of the places that I do this is in writing. I often draft a piece thinking about the naysayers in the audience. After listening to Arthur Brooks, I noodled on this practice. I think writing with critics in mind has some advantages – like developing a fuller view of my position and for motivating my inner editor.

But I can’t type when in a defensive crouch.

Thinking of some of my favorite lines from authors:

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” from Mary Oliver.

Or from John O’Donohue:

“When you beautify your mind, you beautify your world. You learn to see differently. In what seemed like dead situations, secret possibilities and invitations begin to open before you. In old suffering that held you long paralyzed, you find new keys. “ – John O’Donohue

These examples touch me in my bones in a way that makes me know they were written from the expansive space of possibility instead of the small space of fear.

Some of my best words have come when I’m surprised into them – I’ve laughed my way in or come fresh from sleep before my inner critic has arisen. Other times, I find I have to shift my posture – actually stretch or move out of that hunch over the keyboard that I naturally fall into. Anything to open the heart space in the front of my body as a physical reminder to let the words flow from my heart.

Maybe a rant from Aunt Polly is memorable. But the feeling of being touched from the inside out leaves a different kind of mark. One of possibility and inspiration. I’d much prefer the latter.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

75 thoughts on “Transforming Criticism into Creative Fuel”

  1. I appreciated reading this on my sleepy commute to work (hello from the bus!) as I was getting in one of those negative mind spirals last night (nothing serious nor out of the ordinary) and it made me think about a tip I recently learned about trying to flip those thoughts upside down into something positive.

    We often think about what if something goes wrong, what if my readers don’t like the post and what not. I find that when we flip the question upside down, things can work wonders. Such as what if things go right, what if my readers like it, etc.

    You’re right, in that negativity bias is so powerful but so is looking at it from a different perspective and possibility too.

    Thanks for this Wednesday boost! And happy Lunar new year!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Interesting. I write my best stuff when I’m irritated by something or someone. Then I put it aside and come back to it with a fresh take on life. Often I revise and refine what I was thinking about when I wrote whatever, but realize I’d never have written anything if I hadn’t allowed myself to be mad to begin with. It’s a circle.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I prefer the latter, too, but although we really do need to not wallow in negativity, neither should we be turning a blind eye to the cruelty around us; that’s how it gets normalized.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love the Kristen Butler quote. This is so true. As soon as I start to go down that negative rabbit hole, I slap myself out of it. Life is too short to dwell on the negative. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Good points, Wynne, but I’m going to look at this from the flip side for writers. When we take negative book reviews on Amazon and turn them over, learning what not to do can help us as much as what to do. That’s doable, seeing the flip side.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s such a powerful image, Ganga. You’re right – and we want to notice the black dot so we can fix it. I think Arthur Brooks’ point was just to remember the great dinner party we had even if the tablecloth is stained. Thanks for the great comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I take my cue from Charles Bukowski (you can see what he said in this interview https://youtu.be/MTPxWkBgW6U?si=50AL5JO0SerxaU3V) that our words should have “juice”. In that space, I don’t think too much about what I’m writing (I’m not sure there is a thinker in charge) and let things happen however they happen. If that means they come out a little on the tendentious or bellicose side of things then so be it. As to Aunt Poly, perhaps she had a point. Take care, Julian

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh, the sticky spots…and getting good sleep to get a jump on said sticky spots, Aunt Polly people and quiet our own critic. Loads of inspo here, Wynne. 🥰 Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Really great post. I used to have a lot of trouble with accepting criticism especially when it came to my writing. But over time I realised that helpful criticism helps us to grow and the rest we should just tune out because at the end of the day it’s just words. The useless and purposely negative criticisms don’t have any value to us when we are confident in ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Beautiful image to accompany this thought-provoking essay.

    Sometimes it serves us to write about the annoyances to get them out of our system so we no longer focus on them! I think Ally’s method is a good one.

    I’m, by nature, a positive person and I rarely give a thought about the audience’s reaction to what I write! (Does that make me bad?) Wait, now that I think about it, I do censor myself for certain things because I know a certain reader will read it.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Criticism as a critique is very positive and I don’t think you can write to that and definitely you cannot write to negative criticism. You become more focused on pleasing the critics than those who have come to look for you in your writings. I’ve always said when you write, and speak, for fun or for money, do for yourself. If others like it, they will let you know. If no one seems to like it, at least you know one person who did.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I came from a background of extreme criticism, so I internalized it and it became part of my self-talk. I could always find faults that no one had even thought of, and used them to beat myself into depression. Criticism is so very destructive when it is done in a negative and hurtful way.

    Suspending judgement was my bridge to learning to become more positive oriented. When a negative habit has been ingrained for so long it can be very difficult to comprehend how it sneaks its so many aspects of life, and how we can become self-sabotaging to keep that narrative going.

    Moving towards choosing to see the good stuff has enabled me to completely rewire my brain and its old go-to thoughts.

    “Focus more on the people who inspire you rather than annoy. You’ll get much further in life.” – Kristen Butler

    I used to get irritated with people who spoke about gratitude, happiness, positivity and affirmations. They seemed so fake, because they were so far out of the “normal” things and thought processing that was my world.

    Once I stepped through the portal myself, I saw there was so much merit and solidity to it that I had never seen before. It’s a rough scary process, but the bumpy journey is totally worth it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the story of your journey, Tamara. And I especially love your phrase, “Suspending judgment was my bridge…” That is so good! What incredible work you’ve done — and share with others so they can do it too. So powerful!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks Wynne! When i finished writing my response I realized it was the missing piece in my latest post. Funny how those bridges work!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes, so far so good! I’m heading down to my daughter’s this weekend to celebrate another turn around the sun for myself!

        Liked by 1 person

  19. ‘just write’ is my philosophy; I had a few people from Fellowship follow me for a time so I was more guarded in what I said but now they don’t — I had a BIG argument with one — I’m unbridled 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve read about writing is to write first for yourself. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t think about our intended audience, but I take it to mean that we should write the things that are our hearts are telling us to write. For example, I know that fantasy books are running hot these days, but those are not the books I want to write.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Yea, I sometimes write with the naysayers in mind too. I’ll get a “look at me now” kind of approach. I don’t know if it works or not. I kind of agree with you, it’s really hard to write defensively. When I get too focused, I try to step back and . . . just write. Ha ha.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Such insightful encouragement, Wynne, to look for the positive possibilities and inspiration, and not focus on criticism. It took me awhile to learn how to steer clear of the cesspool of negative thinking. My brain would wander in before I even noticed, swirling deeper and deeper into discouragement until all of a sudden I’d become aware of where my thoughts had taken me–an unpleasant place! The Bible verse, Philippians 4:8 helped me. As soon as I realized my mind was in the muck of hurt feelings, envy, frustration, etc., I’d turn my mind to those things that were “right or deserves praise: things that are true, honorable, fair, pure, acceptable, or commendable” (from God’s Word Translation). After awhile it didn’t take me as long to catch myself and start listing the good things God provided in my life. Not that I don’t fall into that cesspool anymore! But I don’t get pulled in as deep or for as long as I used to.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, this is such a beautiful way to turn it around, Nancy! I love the pieces of scripture and wisdom that help us flip the script as you’ve described. So incredibly powerful. Thank you for sharing!

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  25. Love this quote so much! “When you beautify your mind, you beautify your world.”… – John O’Donohue. The negativity bias is an interesting concept. I googled it and found this: “Some research indicates that older adults may display, at least in certain situations, a positivity bias.” We have something to look forward to as we get older. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  27. “Human tendency toward negativity bias.” Well, Wynne, this is a good one to ponder for a few days. My first thought is that even though this is a behavior we all exhibit, it’s important to control it. I don’t have a Facebook account, but my wife tells me stories about people who dwell on negativity and ramble all day. Part of that stems from their constant consumption of negative information and misinformation spread on social media nowadays. That overload affects our critical thinking and our ability to express ourselves in oral and written communication. I’m very sensitive to that because I understand well what’s behind it all, so that’s one of the reasons I don’t engage much with social media now. The key, as your title wonderfully describes, is to turn criticism into something positive.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. In a long-ago blog, I used to write defensively all the time, knowing hat my words were going to elicit tons of negativity given the circumstances I was going through at the time, and my candidness. It really took away from my writing enjoyment (which is one reason why that blog, and that audience, no longer exists).

    Liked by 1 person

  30. “But I can’t type when in a defensive crouch,” that hit home, I feel much the same. Now that you name it, “thinking about the naysayers,” when we write, makes me realize how often I shift a sentence if I think it might land wrong. And as you say, that can motivate our inner critic, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing! Sometimes I’m behind in posting and I hit the publish button without really thinking through my stand and usually those posts fall flat. It’s interesting that changing only a few words can sometimes change the entire meaning of the post. Hugs, C

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I love this beautiful perspective on when and when not to motivate our inner critic. You have so much wisdom, it’s hard for me to imagine that your words could miss the mark. Lovely to see you, dear Cheryl!! Sending lots of love!!

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