Transforming Anger Into Something Life-Giving

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“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead

I witnessed a short, angry burst of aggression the other day. A driver pulled into an intersection as if to take a free right. A woman on foot with her dog in tow, crossed against the light, rapped on the car’s passenger window to tell the driver that it was “No turn on red.” Then she kept knocking on the window to continue angrily yelling the same thing over and over again.

The funny thing was that the driver had not yet taken a right turn but the woman was so incensed that it was likely to happen that she broke the rules to tell them not to. It would have been comical had she not been so apoplectic.

The light turned green, the car turned right and the interaction was over. But it stuck with me, so I went home and looked up anger in Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown:

Anger is a catalyst. Holding on to it will make us exhausted and sick. Internalizing anger will take away our joy and spirit; externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connection. It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice.

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

I think this piqued my interest because the injustices of this world and our recent national politics make me angry. I need to remember to transform that into something life-giving in order to participate in creating change.

(featured photo from Pexels)

88 thoughts on “Transforming Anger Into Something Life-Giving”

  2. I love the idea of transforming anger into something more positive. Channeling one’s anger can become quite beneficial then.

    I would normally that it sounds like this woman has been harboring frustration and anger within herself for a while without a productive or satisfying outlet, but I believe I’d be wrong. It was fear that triggered her. She became the fearful for her safety and possibly for her and her life. Fear can produce anger, pur politicians have been using people’s fears to stoke their anger to get them to make fight or flight responses.

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      1. We do what we’re doing, and trust the outward ripples will help a few people.

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  3. I’m so grateful for the work Brené and her team did when creating Atlas of the heart! Anger is considered by most to be a “negative emotion”. It doesn’t have to be. I think it depends a lot on how mindful we are and how we harness it.

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  4. I feel sorry for the angry lady, and the driver that had to patiently wait for her outburst to be over. The Brene Brown quote may have to be printed and posted on my wall. I love how she says, “It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice.” I’d love to find more people using their political anger in a ‘Brene Brown’ sort of way.

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  6. Sadly, sometimes this is easier said than done. Your recent national politics weren’t just recent, they’re ongoing, and those of us in Canada, Greenland, Denmark, Panama, and now on the coast of the Gulf of Mexico outside the U.S. are enraged. 100% enraged. No wonder everyone is angry; he encourages it and enables it.

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      1. I’m sorry, Wynne, that was more rant-like than it needed to be. I’ll have to try harder to channel my anger (rare for me) into something constructive. I’ll have to try really hard!

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  9. Therapists sometimes work to create an atmosphere that allows depressed and abused or neglected patients the permission to find the anger they have buried, or aimed at themselves.

    Without anger how would the Boston Tea Party have happened? It can not only be useful but necessary in overcoming fear and taking action. Do not forget that Christ overturned the table of the money lenders in the temple our of his rage.

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  11. Misplaced, misdirected anger is hard to witness. I’m glad you were able to observe and write about the encounter. It’s often the only way I can process some of the ridiculousness in the world. 😔❤️😔

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  12. “Be angry angry and sin not. Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath.” – Ephesians 4:26 . . . one of life’s most difficult challenges to conquer.

    Anger-Bitterness-Unforgiveness . . . all 3 dig 2 graves, and we’re often unaware one is ours.

    Thanks for the ‘red light’ reminder Wynne that I need to stop on red when anger challenges, and wait for the green of grace before moving on.

    Keep Looking Up ^ . . . His Best is Yet to Come!

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  14. You know Wynne, I love your transformative delivery here. 💖 I concur with your latter thoughts particularly and how it can trigger you to go into a dark place. We often expect better from people, but time and time again, they seem to disappoint us. That is a healthy anger, not rage. But as I comically but purposefully tell so many people I meet, whether in the grocery store or hardware store, do as some police say, “Step away from the car ma’am.” That car/vehicle transporting “anger, frustration, hate” can cause you to self-implode and send you down a dark hole! Honey chile, we ain’t going down that particular rabbit hole, not today, not tomorrow, and next week ain’t lookin’ too good either! 😜🤣😝

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      1. LOL Wynne! 🤣😜😂 Glad this made you smile, but honey chile, I feel ya with this experience. Some people have taken “cray-cray” to a whole new level, and it doesn’t look like they are going to return to normal any time soon! Geez! 🙄🤷🏻‍♀️😲

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  15. My hubby and I are so different. He shouts at injustice and stupid drivers – and pedestrians. He says it makes him feel better.
    While I on the other hand, say things under my breath.

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  22. There is so much anger in the world, if we could transform that into “something life-giving,” oh what a world it could be. I have to add, you writing is transformational Wynne! You already are a source of life-going inspiration in the world. This gives me a lot to think about. Hugs, C

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    1. Thank you, dear Cheryl! What a world it would be if we did that transformational work towards life-giving from all of the places we get stuck. I see you writing us through that all the time! Glad to see you, my friend! Happy 2025! XOXO!

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  23. Well, Wynne I’m going all positive on you – “Our focus is our future, and what we focus on will multiply in our life.” ~unknown. Wishing you and your sweet ones, only good things and a bright future! 💖💖💖

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  24. Rate everywhere, on the road or on the Internet, is so thick in the air these isn’t it? I almost feel like there are larger social engineers at work that is cultivating and poking at the societal hornets nest.

    I agree that we can do and must do more individually and collectively to harness and transform that anger into something more positive! 🙏

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  25. Do you think if someone with anger issues saw himself/herself on video, that it might have any effect? The tiny things people get so worked up over is mind-boggling. I’m not naive enough to think it didn’t exist in previous generations, but we can’t begin to normalize it now.

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    1. What a great question, Pete! I tend to think that it often indicates something that isn’t tended underneath. Because you are right, it is mind-boggling. You are so right, it feels like a lot to try to normalize now. But that’s where people like you and the Nancy Wheelers of the world make such a difference one situation at t time!

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  26. Anger makes me miserable. It’s truly like drinking poison. I very seldom display it. I do feel it though, especially now. I agree it’s imperative to channel it. Suggestions on helpful resources appreciated! I will order Brene Brown’s book as a start. Usually I journal. I also light up and refresh my joy through nature, walking, children, pets, and friends. But this relentless awfulness with the impending administration— it’s killing me. Thanks, everyone here, for sharing. Thank you, Wynne.

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    1. Oh, I hear you, Lori! I do much of the same – writing, nature, children. The word “impending” really struck me from your great comment. I think there’s an anticipation that makes it even worse (I hope). Here’s to sticking together to trying to find the best!

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  27. Yes. Anger for the sake of anger is detrimental. I’ve lived it. Finding ways to transform it into either positive action or going within and transmuting it (I’ve been fortunate to have done the latter), is the way. Not always easy but better than swallowing a bitter pill over and over.

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  29. Wow about the woman getting so angry when the driver hadn’t turned right on red. I would’ve been stunned if I had been that driver! And thanks for including the quote from Brené Brown — those are wise words about what anger can do when it’s gripped for a long time.

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  30. Such a good point, Wynne. I am incensed right now about the stupidity coming of the white abode. It makes me more certain than ever that I need to do something. Haven’t decided what yet, but no doubt it will come. Anger is a catalyst.

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  32. That is strange behavior by the pedestrian. Bold too, considering that things do not always end well with road rage scenarios. Great quote and philosophy by Brené Brown. Thank you for sharing.

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  33. Assuming the drive was going to make a right turn on red was probably based on past experience, but rapping on the window was a bit much. I’d give the person the benefit of the doubt while being extra cautious before crossing.

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