Life: Risky Business

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“Pushing through your fear. If there’s something you want, it usually worth the risk. I’ve found that on the side of fear is rebirth.” – Paula Whaley

One of the guides that I climbed mountains with, Phil, taught the skill of weighing objective risks versus subjective risks. Objective risks in the mountains include avalanche danger, weather forecast, rock fall areas, and navigating around crevasses. It is because of objective risk that we’d often leave for the summit in the middle of the night, when things like big blocks of rocks and ice are still frozen to the mountain. That way we reduced the risk of climbing in the heat of midday when the sun warms things up and they pop off to crush you.

As an aside, I found climbing at night to be one of the most beautiful things to do. While it was exceedingly painful to leave a warm sleeping bag, the intimacy of my steps enveloped only in the circle of my headlamp was a way to be both big and small. In a huge arena but only focused on a small area. Groups ahead look like a caravan crossing through the desert because the landscape could be anything. And, crossing things like ladders laid horizontally over crevasses is way more doable when you can’t see the gaping hole below.

A friend ready to cross a crevasse on Mt. Rainier (image mine)

But subjective risk, as I understood it from Phil, is what we internally sense and measure. How do I feel? Does this seem doable today? Subjective risk is more personal, trickier to plan for, and different for everyone.

But this is a post about life, not climbing

I’d argue that in my life now, I have very little objective risk. Perhaps the most hazardous thing I do is forget to wear eye protection when I’m using the weed whacker.

But the subjective risks I’ve found in middle age to be plentiful. Daring to be vulnerable, trying to learn something new, opening to new friendships, asking to be seen, and offering grace instead of judgment – all those things lay bare my heart in a way that can be terrifying and precarious.

I think meditating and writing both are huge subjective risks to my perceived well-being. Hazarding a look inside at the goopy mix of who I am, taking on attempts to change myself, the conditions for my children, and generational patterns of my family. Geez, that’s harder stuff than I ever faced in the mountains.

And yet, I find when I try these things that are subjectively risky, they get me somewhere. Not always, and I haven’t kept track but I think it’s safe to say not usually, where I intend to go but with a receptiveness that moves me forward.

It’s a round-trip sport

As my guide friend, Phil, says, “Climbing is a round-trip sport.” It’s both the up and the down. And the risks are often greater on the down when I’m exhausted from the climb. And now have to cross the crevasse on a ladder in the daylight when I can see the gaping hole beneath me. It’s the same in life for me, taking the risk to extend myself in vulnerability and openness is hardest when I’m tired and depleted but it’s often necessary to lead me home.

I don’t think you have to have climbed to imagine how life can be a slog, both uphill and downhill. But whatever the slope looks like, thinking about it this way has helped me to take the steps to evaluate and take on subjective risks in order to get to my best and highest place.

There is no way to get to the summit, whatever our personal summit may be, without exposing ourselves to risk. But the view from the top and the learning from the trip change us forever.

View from Mt. Adams (image mine)

What do you think about risk? Any tips for how you face risk?

(featured photo is mine from Ixtacchuatl a 17,160ft mountain in Mexico)

46 thoughts on “Life: Risky Business”

  1. This is going to sound off-topic, but this entire post is giving me that visual of your evolution as a writer. There is so much beautifully articulated wisdom here – especially the challenges of “asking to be seen, and offering grace instead of judgment”.

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  2. I’ve read that the only time we grow is when we take risk. We have to get out of our comfort zones. I wish I’d remember the title, but I’m sure it was in more than one book! I love this:
    “But whatever the slope looks like, thinking about it this way has helped me to take the steps to evaluate and take on subjective risks in order to get to my best and highest place.”

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    1. I’m feeling what Elizabeth shared…risk = growth. I find that time and time again and while I might be a mess with all of the anticipatory stress, “doing it anyhow” (whatever IT is) usually pays off. Mountain climbing tho??? I dunno. I love Phil’s quip about it being a ’round trip’ sport but those crevasses….whoa….🙄

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      4. The anticipatory stress — wow, do I relate to that, Vicki. Yes, pushing through that to the other side when we do IT anyway. And the crevasses – yep, those are gnarly. But sometimes life can be too, right?

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      6. I’m laughing about the skinny board. Yes, not pretty – but back to metaphors, there are some things I have to do in real life that feel just as terrifying. For some reason I’m thinking about having to hold Mr. D at 2 yrs old while he got a root canal. At that moment in time, I just knew we had to keep going to get to the other side…

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    2. I love the connection you make between growth and risk, Elizabeth. I bet you’re right that it comes from more than one book and now is a part of your beautiful wisdom. Yes!

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  3. I have learned that once I can look at things objectively to see if they are personally doable or even what I would want to do, then I can face my fears simply by saying “What have I got to lose?”, when the potential loss is something I have determined to be manageable.

    A few short months ago I had put an offer on a very moderately priced house which seemed to check all the boxes in what I was looking for. I did pray and think about it prior to doing this, and said “if the house is for me, it will pass all the inspections”. Well it failed every single one. I lost around a thousand dollars, but was spared from buying a money pit. Yes, I’m on the sidelines now, but I don’t regret taking that chance.

    Risks can be manageable, and I don’t believe “going all in” on something that is very hyped as being a sure thing, because I have seen too many people over the years get taken in by con men who made something look too good to be true. I believe is smaller, doable risks.

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    1. Oh, I’m sorry that the house didn’t work out but I love your comment that you don’t regret trying and that you were spared from buying a money pit. Also that smaller, doable risks are the way to go. You make another GREAT point about things people say are “sure” things. Yes, that’s something that tickles my alarms too. Great points, Tamara!

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  4. My career is in quality assurance, so I live and breathe pragmatic risk identification and mitigation. 🤪However, my health journey exposed many subjective risks that required a different approach. The idea of planning the out-and-back trip struck a chord with me, Wynne, as I’ve spent much of that last decade working backwards based on my energy levels. Knowing I’ll run out of energy by 6PM, I need to leave the event by 5PM, start the goodbyes at 4:30PM, etc. Setting milestones on the uphill and the downhill makes it easier, for me at least, to both overcome the aversion to risk and to turn around without having reached the summit. There is something so scary and yet so satisfying about facing those high-risk high-reward tasks – navigating through the goopy bits of ourselves and then, eventually, finding ourselves standing atop our own personal summit.

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    1. I love your example of working backwards from when you’d know you’d be out of energy. And it’s especially meaningful that it is borne of your experience in risk management! I love your summary about the satisfaction about navigating through our goopy bits to the summit. Beautiful, Erin!

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  7. Two great pieces Wynne. There’s your next book, life and parenting lessons learned through the eyes of Mountain Climbing! I’m not a mountain climber and I’m already hooked. Plus you have to write more about climbing at night. I gotta be honest, it sounds scary as Hell, but also incredibly cool. Wow.

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  8. There is no way to get to the summit, whatever our personal summit may be, without exposing ourselves to risk. Ain’t that the truth? Kind of theme of my week, come to think of it.

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  9. Oh I remember this beautiful post, Wynne. And I remember commenting how I always be love the posts where you draw life lessons with mountain climbing. It’s always so well done.

    I am also in the part of my life where there are more subjective risks than objective risks and they truly are trickier to navigate. Thankfully and hopefully getting older means we have the life experience to analyze and work through these risks.

    As an aside, I can only imagine how beautiful and magical it is to climb at night out there on the mountains, under the moonlight, stars and reflective snow.

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    1. I find it interesting that you too find more subjective than objective risks. I love what you say about having the life experience to evaluate those risks. Let’s hope all those other years were good for something! 🙂

      And you are so gracious to still be on the bandwagon of my endless climbing posts… 🙂 Thank you, Ab!

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  11. Thank you, Wynne. I am glad you mentioned that life can be a slog. I also appreciated the sobriety of this essay’s tone.

    I someone’s experience a relentless optimism in blog posts and wonder whether some non bloggers are thereby discouraged because they sense that everyone gets to the top of the hill when they can’t even scrape up the funds to begin.

    For the reasons I mentioned it may be that those who have their fair portion of difficulty might be heartened to know that, as the Buddha allegedly said, “After enlightenment, the laundry.”

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    1. I’d never heard that Buddha quote but it’s so good. While I usually start each day with lots of energy and enthusiasm, I usually end it with complete exhaustion. I suppose I feel the up and the down of the mountain in me every day.

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  12. I can think of nothing more terrifying than crossing ladders laid horizontally over crevasses. Middle of the night, high noon, doesn’t matter. I just couldn’t do it.

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  13. I read this a few days ago and didn’t have time to respond so I came back to it today and it made all the difference. I needed this message today. I’m all tucked in my comfort zone, avoiding the idea of confronting a squabble that needs addressing, and then I read this. Onward…I’m taking a risk. Hope it goes well. Much love and hugs, C

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    1. “all tucked in my comfort zone.” Oh Cheryl, that sounds so cozy. I’m sorry about the squabble but in my worldview, there are few people as capable (because of you big heart and big perspective) of navigating that terrain. Hope it was a risk worth taking!! Sending hugs!

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  15. Your reflection on risk, both in the context of mountain climbing and in life, is thought-provoking and beautifully written. It’s clear that you’ve drawn valuable insights from your experiences in the mountains and applied them to personal growth and self-discovery.

    Your willingness to embrace subjective risks in middle age, such as vulnerability, learning, and openness, is commendable. Your analogy of climbing as a round-trip sport resonates deeply, emphasizing that the journey itself, with all its risks and challenges, is as important as reaching the summit.

    The way you connect your experiences to personal growth and the pursuit of one’s “summit” in life is inspiring. Your writing encourages self-reflection and contemplation of how we face risk in our own lives.

    Overall, your article is a wonderful exploration of risk and its role in personal development. Thank you for sharing your perspective and insights!

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  16. This post really opened my eyes to a new way of thinking about this topic – thanks for the insights, I learned a lot from your unique perspective and appreciate you sharing it!

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