The Ultimate Reader

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“No two readers can or will ever read the same book, because the reader builds the book in collaboration with the author.” – Neil Gaiman

This is a repost of something I posted 2/22/2023. Heads up that you may have already read this!

When I started putting together the memoir I wrote about my father, I had the good fortune of connecting with a great writing coach, Sheila. As she explained it to me, her job was to be the “ultimate reader” – the person who asked the questions about temporal lapses, gaps in the storyline, or unexplained references to make the final product more cohesive.

I’d written a number of drafts before I sent a version to her but the first thing she had me do on our first telephone consultation was to tell her the story. As I ticked off the points:

I finally got to the detail that when my dad died, I’d been in the process of becoming a single parent at the age of 45 and was pregnant. I hadn’t told my beloved dad about this decision, expecting that I’d do it after my pregnancy was confirmed.

I could practically hear Sheila groan over the phone because I’d left out a pretty big part about family in my book about MY FAMILY. She gently said, “Oh, I think we need to tell that part of the story too.” And she had me re-order the whole book and write a letter to my dear departed dad telling him that I was pregnant.

It was just one of many spots where I didn’t yet understand my own narrative and couldn’t see the full-circle perspective that it added to the book I was writing. But with her help as my ultimate reader, I was given a gift of synthesis that other people can help us create.

“No two readers can or will ever read the same book, because the reader builds the book in collaboration with the author.”

– Neil Gaiman

I usually think of the WordPress community as a group of creators; whether we write essays, poetry, fiction, or have blogs focused on photography. But even more ubiquitously – we are readers. Perhaps we are reading to learn something, to feel something, be transported to another place, or maybe to be inspired about what we need to write. But I think we sometimes forget that we are also helping someone else put their story together.

The act of being an ultimate reader is, in my eyes, one of the most generous. We connect to what someone else is putting out there, imagine what their story is, make comments about how it lands for us, and become a part of the cycle of creativity.

Even when we write for ourselves, once we hit “publish” it becomes something different because it’s a shared space with readers.

Recently, Davy D wrote a charming post about some of his first memories of becoming a reader: What Kind of Reader Are You?. It was easy to understand the roots of his lifelong passion as he described the competition between his neighbors growing up. In that post he also pointed to a book that helps us understand that we have a style of reading as well – fascinating.

Back to Sheila, she was one of the most generous readers I could have asked for. In that space of writing a book about my dad while spending every day nurturing the tiny, little life in my body, she helped me understand better the arc of my narrative. One of the many things Sheila taught me was being a reader is a big responsibility. We have the chance to make writing not feel so lonely. We can laugh together.  We co-create this space and story together. Isn’t it wonderful?

Thanks for being one of my readers.

I’ve posted a related piece on the Wise & Shine blog: The Art of the Comment

(featured photo from Pexels)

61 thoughts on “The Ultimate Reader”

  1. Pingback: The Art of the Comment - Wise & Shine

  2. “But I think we sometimes forget that we are also helping someone else put their story together.” Ooh, this, Wynne! Engaged readers and thoughtful comments are such a gift, but the input and perspective to help us better understand our own stories? Ah, truly invaluable!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I love this too! It really hits home. When I was first trying to figure out how to heal, I was reading. I read from authors who seemed to have walked something very similar to my path and they came out of it whole and stronger; I wanted those things too, so I’d try out different approaches to see what would work for me.

      Liked by 2 people

      2. Thank you ma’am! It’s all part of the circle we live in and on!

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  4. These are really helpful reflections, Wynne. When I’m a reader – as an objective consumer – that’s enjoyable. When I become linked in some way to your story so that it helps me – that’s a privilege. When I am a ‘generous reader’ and more deeply involved then that’s a responsibility.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. “But I think we sometimes forget that we are also helping someone else put their story together.” I love this Wynne! It really hits home.

    When I was first trying to figure out how to heal, I was reading. I read from authors who seemed to have walked something very similar to my path and they came out of it whole and stronger; I wanted those things too, so I’d try out different approaches to see what would work for me. I was so shy and unsure of myself that I was a ghost… I’d read but didn’t comment. Mind you, much of what I was reading wasn’t blogs but printed matter so there really wasn’t a way to comment, but if there were, I’d still have been a ghost at that point.

    I keep that in mind when I see how people view and comment my different posts, for I recognize that none of us are venerated as gurus, we’re sometimes just a few steps ahead of others. If people want to view and not comment, I respect their place of healing, and feel honored that something in what I’ve written is helping someone else to figure themselves out.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love your description of being a ghost — and then you healed into solidness and willingness to speak. So a great journey – including the respect for others who are on their own healing journeys!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LOL, having been one of the oft reviled and denigrated “ghosts”, I knew why I did it, and so understand the whole mindset when I see that I have many ghosts on my site.

        I understand the extreme vulnerability one feels during such a time, and the hesitance to make oneself known and seen, for if one has experienced severe criticism or worse, the need for invisibility is necessary.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Now you’ve got me thinking about what to comment! I enjoyed this post because I haven’t thought much about being a reader until now. I’m grateful you found your ultimate reader Sheila and how she helped you with your wonderful book about your father.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Elizabeth – your comments are always perfect! I think you do a great job of being the ultimate reader. You have such a great recall for things you’ve read and how they relate. It’s beautiful!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This may not make sense, but I find greater value personally in being a reader than a writer. This is a learned aspect for me. I never used to go back to a post that I had commented on and read others comments. Little by little something nagged at me to explore what I might be missing by not engaging with others and their thoughts and opinions. I have learned so much about people in general and about the specific folks I have a connection with on WP. I have always thought that if I were to ever write a book I would genuinely want to sit with a group of diverse readers and just talk about their POV and impressions regarding my words. This would not be an exercise in trying to please everyone, but a truly wanted task designed to help me understand what I project and what others take away from my story.

    I think your Sheila filled a truly amazing and valuable purpose at just the right time Wynne 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love this comment, Deb – because you are such a scientist! In this case, a social scientist synthesizing all the different POV’s. You are so good at the application of knowledge – whether it be in the things you write or the comments you contribute to someone else. I hope one day you do write a book and then we can convene the reader circle!!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. The whole idea of “what kind of reader are you?” is an intriguing one. People with whom we have close personal relationships tend to have expectations and viewpoints about our writing that have nothing to do with our writing. A caring AND objective reader is gold. I’m so glad you found one in Sheila, and for something so important as the memoir of your father. Thanks for your writing and your blog, Wynne. I love being one of your readers. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Susan, I love how you put it – a caring AND objective reader is gold. Yes. You’re right that the people closest to us often look for other things.

      Thank you for being one of my readers, Susan! I appreciate you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. After my retirement and only then did I learn to read without prejudice, searching for the author’s intention and how he used words to convey his ideas to the reader. Only after that did I try to judge the value of his words and see if I agreed with any opinion he was offering or his effort to persuade me, if that was the intention. I have found this useful. I wish I learned about such an approach much earlier. Thanks, Wynne.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How interesting that this change in how you read coincided with your retirement? Do you think it was the extra time it afforded? And speaking of reading – do you get the email I sent with an attachment yesterday afternoon? I’m afraid it’s in your SPAM folder so I thought I’d mention it.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Thank you on all counts, Wynne. After retiring I entered the Basic Program at the Graham School of the U. of Chicago.

    It is a non-degree program modeled after what is still called a Classical Education – the Great Books of literature and philosophy. The program can now be taken online via Zoom. Courses are 10 weeks long for three hours per week, with a 15 minute break after the first half.

    Most of the instructors use a modified version of the Socratic Method of instruction. Thus, no lectures but much questioning of the students by the instructor and vice versa.

    The way the students are encouraged to read is what I described. Everything considered, the program has changed the way I read and think.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. If you had failed to include the part about not getting to tell your father about becoming a parent at 45 in your book, it would have been different, but I suspect it still would have been a great read. I think the value of a great editor is not to change our story, but to help bring out “more of us” in the story. They help separate the wheat from the chaff. Pretty neat the value you give to teh WordPress community!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The wheat from the chaff – so well said, Brian! It’s too hard to tell that when we are so close, isn’t it? Thanks for the lovely and supportive comment, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. This is so true. The reader brings him or herself to the table and often sees things totally different than another reader. “Every man has two eyes but no one sees things the same way.” From my debut novel, “The Bayou Heist” often takes direction for plot, dialogue and characters from my neighborhood, the cupcakerie we owned, and my travel overseas. It is like an outpouring but each reader brings a different vision.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love how you put it – each reader brings a different vision. So well said – and it’s wonderful how you drew from your life in your book! Thanks for the great comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I am so happy you found a great writing coach! Sometimes our tunnel vision while writing needs to explore the road less traveled and Sheila seemed to open the map for you! Congrats on your book!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I read this post a couple times; there’s something about it that touches me deeply, but I can’t quite pinpoint the “what.” It’s something to do with community and reciprocity; though I can’t yet name it, I did want to speak–even ambiguously!–to it, for the warmth it’s added to my evening. Thank you!

    (Also, I’m glad you reposted this for another reason. I’d caught that you wrote at least one technical book previously … while entirely missing the existence of the book you mention here!)

    Liked by 1 person

  18. This is so true, Wynne. We are readers! A good friend of mine told me a few weeks ago, “You are a good writer because you’re a reader.” I’ve been blogging for four years but one of my favourite things is sitting down with my tea in the morning and cracking open the WordPress reader. It’s like opening a carefully-wrapped present.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love how you put it, Michelle! It’s like opening a carefully wrapped present. Love the description of your morning routine with tea and reader. And I second your friend’s assessment – you are a good writer!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Your friend Sheila sounds wonderful and you both bring up a great point about the reading and writing community and the act of doing them. It often feels isolating and alone and there is a wonderful thing that happens when you share your story with the world as others bring their own read into it and enriching the story and experience itself.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Sheila sounds like a great writing coach, and you a good student. I’m sorry that you lost your father so suddenly. At the same time I am so happy for you that you were blessed with such an excellent one.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Pingback: Bloggers who have no published posts and people who are ghosts may be voracious readers! – Tamara Kulish

  22. Spot on Wynne. I always find it fascinating when a reader pulls something from my writing that I didn’t notice or see the connection. That’s when the brain heads off in a new direction and lands in a place I never expected. Writers can be so focused in their own little worlds that sometimes they can’t see the work from the readers perspective and that’s what makes the WP community so unique. We add perspective for each other. Love this Wynne. Hugs, C

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I think the comments on WP posts are a great example of how no 2 readers read a work the same. It’s amazing to me how many different things touch individuals from the same exact post.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Awesome write up.
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  25. Pingback: The Go-To Metaphor - Wise & Shine

  26. I love this quote because it is so true. In my group I always ask, ” What was your takeaway?”, and have them jot it down to avoid groupthink. The replies always provide something new.

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