“We do not learn from experience. We learn from reflecting on experience.” – John Dewey
As part of the consulting work I do, I have four additional email boxes on top of my work and my personal email boxes. Technically, I have three more work emails than that but with fairly little flow so I don’t check them. So let’s just call it six email boxes that I check more or less every day.
It’s not that bad – I can make a quick round in the morning and evening and button most things up which gives me that sense of completion of having things finished, and if not finished, at least tied down.
But this week, a couple things happened and I got buried under an avalanche of email. First, I volunteered to chaperone a field trip with my daughter’s 2nd grade class. It was wonderful – I wouldn’t have missed riding on a school bus to the Seattle Center, seeing a play, eating lunch, and then playing at a playground with those fantastic kids for anything.
But my daughter left her coat on the playground and I ended up driving back down to Seattle Center and picking it up after the field trip ended. It turned a 4.5 hour commitment into something like 6 and then between picking up and dropping off my kids, I essentially got nothing done for an entire day.
The second thing that happened was that one of my clients had a crisis so all his email flowed into my box and I had to sort out what was a priority and what was not without much context or foundation.
Suffice it to say, I have emails coming out my ears. My nice and tidy practice of at least skimming them has blown up, at least temporarily.
Amidst this electronic mayhem, I sat down to write a thank you card and a birthday letter. Old-fashioned, put the pen to the paper, nothing electronic involved, notes.
It was a wonderful experience for me – the words and images flowed in a different way than if I’d been at the keyboard. Instead, I sat at my dining table late at night after I put the kids to bed and wrote down what was on my mind.
I slowed down and really thought about the words I wanted to choose. And when I’d written my way into a sentence that didn’t work, I had to pause to think if I could weave my way out or if I’d have to take that terrible step and scratch out a word. In that pause, I wondered why I’d used a particular word.
In theory that’s what I do when I write an email as well. Except that other emails come in, I get distracted by a new notification of a WP post, or I want to look up facts and figures to go with some line of thinking. Then the result is more like an edited research paper than a narrative of life.
Sure, I’ll catch up on my email (or I won’t – apologies to anything I’ve missed this week), but I’ve made a note to myself (in long-hand) to remember to keep slowing down and writing something meaningful now and again.
And the timing of this letter writing couldn’t have been more fortuitous because Vicki Atkinson and I talked with artist and writer, Libby Saylor, about journaling, including the benefits of writing things out by hand, in the latest episode of the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast: Episode 11: How to Journal the Right Way with Libby Saylor.
An interesting topic in a few ways, Wynne. Most of us are so used to writing with a word processor that we forget the difference. There are advantages to writing by hand that you describe well, mostly having to do with having to slow down, almost always a good thing! But, being a generation ahead of you, and, for example, having written my master’s thesis by hand and then typed it (which my husband did for his PhD), I sure wouldn’t want to go back to pen only ! Imagine all those authors who wrote everything by hand. It’s a different world! I think the word processor actually allows us to be more creative; we just need to incorporate the slowing down part into the equation!
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Wow – I’m impressed about your thesis. Amazing!! I remember doing that for papers in high school so I can relate to what you mean. You make a good point about not going back.
So I think your conclusion that we just need to incorporate the slowing down into the equation is spot on. Right!
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I think Jane said precisely what was on my mind. Sometimes I can type faster than I think….LOL…and slowing down to write by hand takes care of most of that…I become more deliberate, which for me, can be a very good thing. Thanks for all of this Wynne…and wowza…I will never complain about a too-full inbox or two 😉 ever again. You’ve got SKILLS! 😊
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Deliberate — that’s the perfect word for it! And I’m laughing about typing faster that you can think because that’s me too!! 🙂 ❤
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I’m giggling…and sometimes we’re doing it darn-near simultaneously…typing like crazy women at the same time…whoosh! 🤣❤🤣
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🙂 🙂 )
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There is something different, Wynne, about creating words through the connection of pen on paper. Perhaps, it may have something to do with being taught that way as children. I try to write with a pen every day, even if it is a hundred words of nonsense. I find pen and paper work better for me at the start of the creative process. I’m looking forward to hear what Libby says about this is your podcast.
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I love that you try to do this every day, Davy. What a practice! Maybe it does have to do with learning that as children. Hmm…
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I see positives and negatives to both styles and like the either or approach- meaning whatever works for the individual at the time. I find physical considerations as well, and actually ethical ones also come into play for me. Using a device actually tends to be easier on my joints (right now anyway) than trying to hold a pen. Also pen and paper writing means I am scratching out a lot, editing, tossing and that means more paper use which I want to avoid if I can. For someone who can be anti-tech in many ways I often chuckle about my pretty heartfelt buy in to word processing over pen/paper.
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Very good points, Deb. Yes, on the sore hands but I kinda like it because then I break and stretch. And a really good point about the paper. I tend to use the blank sides on “submit your payment” envelopes (that I pay online) but then just yesterday I was cursing myself for writing something super important down on an envelope and then losing it. There’s no cloud backup in that system…
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I write differently by hand than I do by computer. I noticed it right off when I too went to hand write a thank you note! My words and thoughts flow differently, less editing is required by hand. It sounds like this slowing down was just what you needed after a very hectic day! Maybe pages at night might be a worthy practice? Great post, lots to chew on. Hugs, C
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I have two friends I send a Christmas card and they do the same with me. What I don’t like is seeing my handwriting deteriorating year after year. Nice article Wynne
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What a lovely practice, Cristiana! I see my handwriting deteriorate from one page to the next — but I always start out with good intentions… 🙂
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I’m in awe of your email management skills. Managing my own and one for work, plus Teams chat is more than enough. Like a few others, I like pen and paper – I’m actually tapping this on my phone with a pen in my hand as I’m also drafting a short story
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Now there are some phone skills that impress me, Brenda! A short story and comment in the phone – amazing! You’re right – so many ways to collaborate. May we all find our ways to the messages that are most important! 🙂
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Oh yes, writing on good ole paper can be a different kind of feeling. I find I’m actually a bit more slower. Now some of that is because I need to force myself to write legible, but it does seem to use a different part of our brain. I definitely need to take a break after making this comment. I read your piece and automatically started hyperventilating. I’ve had my share of those types of days. One thing leads to another and before you know it, your email box is overflowing. Here’s hoping everything worked out in the end Wynne. Have a wonderful weekend.
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Ah, it all works out in the end, right? There are some days but at the end, we snuggle with our loved ones and its fine. Right? Thanks for reading and commenting, my friend! 🙂
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There is something special about physically putting pen to paper. I’ve noticed that a scratchy pen leads to a different flow of thoughts for me vs. a beautifully smooth pen. You’re so right, emails can be much more immediate and not as well thought out..
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What an interesting observation about the type of pen. I’m going to have to spend some time noticing that. Thank you for the prompt!
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Writing by hand makes such a difference because we really have to compose our thoughts in advance. There’s no backspace key. And that premeditated composition really gets us to think, which creates a more focused and meditative state of mindfulness. I’ve actually created a journal of sorts, in line with my weekly prompts. It certainly encourages a meditative mind. And I’m enjoying it. Now that I’ve disturbed you with this notification you can go back to your writing. 😆 And I won’t add to your emails either. 🤣😆🤣
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Oh, there are some emails that I love answering! The work emails are a completely different story. 🙂
The “premeditated composition” – yes, Alegria – you’ve said it perfectly with that phrase! And I love your weekly prompts! Thank you, my friend!
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I remember when emails first appeared and they felt like such a novelty and I loved getting the “You got mail” notification. Now it’s like, augh. Haha. It’s awful fun digging through them and I hear you on the stress of it.
One thing I do is turn off notifications on my email, so I don’t get distracted when I’m reading or responding to one. I also disable notifications for social media and my apps. It’s gone a long way in reducing that notification-induced panic.
At the end of the day, it’s all about slowing down. And that field trip surely was worth the email catch up you find yourself in now. Good luck and hope you have a restful weekend!
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Oh, the “you’ve got mail.” I love that, Ab. Forgot about it until you mentioned it. You have a great point about notifications. I turn off my sound entirely – but it’s good to dampen all those distractions. Thank you for the reminder. Hope you all have a great weekend!
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I like how you described the beautiful and treacherous process of writing things by hand mistake- free with perfectly chosen words.
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Thanks, Todd. That’s a generous description – but I’m not sure I ever do it mistake free! 🙂
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Taking the time to reflect on our experiences is key to learning, as John Dewey said. Writing by hand can be a meditative process that helps us think deeply about our thoughts and words. Slowing down, reflecting, and writing from the heart can lead to growth and learning.
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I love your comment about writing from the heart leading to growth and learning, Ritish! Yes!
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I used to love writing by hand but I now prefer to write digitally; my brain processes things differently. My 1st draft is often clumsy and needs a lot of reorganizing to put like thoughts together, and create a cohesive and understandable flow.
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You highlight some great examples of where the digital process is such a benefit. Great points, Tamara!
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I have come to embrace my different way of seeing and of processing life around me instead of feeling guilty that I don’t fit the norm!
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I’m going to try Ab’s idea of turning off email notifications. What a great way to remove a few distractions. Julia Cameron’s recommendation in her book “Artist’s Way” about writing three 8-1/2 by 11″ handwritten pages every morning is a fabulous way to sort through the complexity of one’s inner self at the start of a day. Longhand is definitely a more meditative experience (hence handwritten morning pages). Imagine what Jane Austen must have gone through with her pen, ink and candlelight! I count my blessings every day for the backspace button—and for my delete junk mail button. Daily, I am inundated with onerous amounts of offers to enhance, enlarge, and harden my non-existent body parts (if you get my drift). 🤪
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Ha, ha, ha, Julia – I’m laughing about your email. Yes, thank goodness the delete button exists for that! But you’ll have to report back about the email notifications and if it works to limit distractions!
Your thoughts about Jane Austen writing are so interesting. Yes, what an experience and time that must have been. I imagine that the whole time was slower — but that she felt the same impatience that I do.
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I stopped keeping a proper journal years ago. At one point I was very into Morning Pages [like everyone else?]. However now when I write I scribble a few notes by hand onto lined or gridded paper as a kind of rough outline, then after that it’s all keyboard all the way. Interestingly I have no idea when I morphed to this way of writing, it just happened naturally.
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That is interesting that it morphed — to me that makes it sound like a good evolution when it comes with the flow!
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Oh, that frustration of the coat situation! Ugh. And yay for writing things long hand. Is there anything better for a person than receiving a hand-written note or card in the mail? Great for us to handwrite, even when it’s not being mailed to someone, but what a gift for the person when we do mail something to them.
And if that’s your pic in the banner image, love the tablecloth! 🙂
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Thank you, Betsy – that is my tablecloth. My mom was looking something that was water resistant once I had kids and there weren’t many choices but it has held up!
I think I’ve seen your handwriting on the tattoo envelope. Yes, such a gift! Thanks, my friend!
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It was a good choice, then! And I love that color of green.
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I have always journaled but this year I have been holding more space for journaling. And the slow down has been nothing short of transformational. I have started to take myself out for a matcha latte/coffee date once a week and just sitting in the cafe or outside for 1-2 hours taking my time to really reflect. So while I do still drag my journal everywhere with me and write at work or at home often times that seems to be more reactionary and in the moment than as reflective as my new practice. And the reality is both are truly needed.
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I love that you say you are holding the space for journaling, Caitlyn. What a lovely ritual you’ve started and that both the planned and in the moment are working for you! Thanks for the great comment!
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Writing in long hand is almost becoming a dying art. Personally, I love the feel of the paper and the smells of the inks and deliberating what I will write!
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I agree about the feel of the paper – good stationary is so wonderful, isn’t it?
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Six email inboxes? And you pen letters by hand? AND you blog?? Slow your roll, woman. You’re making us “writers” look lazy…
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Oh, I’m laughing, Mark! But I don’t have to shovel snow and my lawn only takes 12 minutes to mow so I save time in other ways. 🙂
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