Practicing Abundance

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“Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature.” – Steve Maraboli

When I was in college, I was in a sorority with a lot of young women from well-off families. This wasn’t a stated objective in the recruiting process, as evidenced by the fact that I got in, but probably the result of legacy and connections. If some of my friends asked their parents for money, they’d come back to find $100 bills in their mail slot. They drove new cars – like beautiful convertibles – and they didn’t even have to share them with their siblings.

I was envious of their money. It seemed like they had it so much easier to me.

Thankfully, I’ve gotten over my envy of money. And not because I drive a brand-new car or have piles of $100 bills lying around.

It’s because I’ve moved on to being envious of people with time. I read something the other day about someone who had time to sit in their garden for a half hour and listen to the birds. I loved it except for the envy hangover I got. And my friend, Eric, has been off for the past three weeks driving through Joshua Tree and connecting with friends to do long-distance bike rides down the California Coast. Oh, how I long to have the time for a lengthy workout free of worry of whether it’ll make me too tired to be a good parent.

I’ve already given up cooking anything complicated, doing the dishes, and folding the laundry so what else am I to do?

I can rationalize away my lack of time – justify that I had oodles of time in my 30’s and 40’s when others were raising their kids. But it doesn’t help. Here’s the only cure I’ve found: practicing abundance.

If I can stop looking for a day to do yard work, I open to the possibility of doing it for fifteen minutes and getting some dirt therapy. Especially this time of year when I find it so cathartic to dig out what’s dead to make room for new growth, I get so much benefit when to keep my head down and only focus on the little patch in front of me. When I do, the same healing that comes from digging in to feel our roots arises. I can make a big difference in a small place.

I’d love to have many moments to string together to have lunch with a friend. Sometimes the pressure of knowing I can’t do this with ALL my friends keeps me from reaching out to ANY of my friends. Ridiculous, I know. When I do schedule something with a dear friend, I try to tack an extra 15 minutes on the end. It’s a cushion that rarely matters to the rest of my schedule and helps me feel the luxury of really being there.  

While I rarely feel the burn of a great workout, I’m often sore so it reminds me that I am always doing something. It might not be a lengthy workout that goes from cardio, strength training, and then a little fun interval at the end, but I have plenty of opportunities to exercise something other than my patience. When I’m on the floor playing, I can be intentional about getting up off the floor without pushing off anything. And I can repeat the exercise a few times to get the extra burn. If I’m out walking with young bike riders, I can run along a little bit too. It’s reminding myself to be conscious of the little steps I’m already doing that seems to make a difference.

My abundance practice is not perfect – but as my meditation teacher, Deirdre, says – that’s it’s called a practice, not a perfect. It’s these little things I learn that keep me from moving on to being envious of youth. Because I wouldn’t give up these pearls of wisdom that I’ve picked up along the way to go back.

(featured photo on Pexels)

Speaking of abundance, I’m grateful for all the places that I have to post and interact. This morning, I’ve also published a complementary piece on the Heart of the Matter blog: The Subtle Shaping of Our Brains

62 thoughts on “Practicing Abundance”

  1. Took me a long time as well Wynne, but you have grasped the truth of Paul’s words in Philippians 4:11 . . .
    “Not that speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am to be content.”
    Be blessed!

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  2. It may be that you have found the meaning of life in this short sentence: “I can make a big difference in a small place.” Remarkable. Thank you, Wynne.

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  4. This is great, Wynne. Isn’t in interesting how, when young and broke, money seems like the most important thing? Yet, as soon one gains the smallest semblance of financial security, they get to choose between time and money…and hopefully discover that time is the more valuable of the two.

    If you’re unfamiliar, I think you would love Dr. Peter Attia’s concept of Centenarian Olympics. He mapped out 18 things he needs to be able to do at age 100 to feel fulfilled (e.g., put a 30 put bag into an overhead compartment of an airplane, pick up a child that’s running at you, get up off the floor under your own support). It’s not about climbing, running, or lifting, but about maintaining autonomy into old age via continually practicing practical, everyday movements… like running alongside a child on a bike. 😊

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    1. Ah, I like the perspective you give about once we get some semblance of financial stability then we have to choose between time and money. Wow – interesting way to put it!

      And thank you for the tidbit about the Centenarian Olympics. How interesting – I’ll have to look that up!

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  5. I went through the same envy of money in my sorority. It came with me to my first jobs after graduating, but fortunately I moved on. It sounds like you’ve figured out the jealousy of time as well.

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  7. Oh I enjoyed this post, Wynne! And I appreciated your honesty about time envy. I love the line in Anna Nalick’s song, ‘Breathe’: “life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table”. The older I get, the more precious time is to me. And strangely, I find being mindful is the best way for me to appreciate time, now, whether it be puttering about in my garden (like you, usually in bite-sized chunks of time) or having lunch with a friend. Sounds like you are on the right track 🙂

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    1. Being mindful — right, right, right, Patti! Yes, thank you for that beautiful summary. And the lines from the song are perfect. I’m going to have to give the song a listen. Thank you!

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  8. Wynne, I was reminded of a quote from Martin Luther King Jr. while reading this. “If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.” I would like to think however I allocate my time, it follows this general rule…whether I’m interacting with other people or just working on a solo activity. Whatever I want or need to devote time to each day, I try to use the time as productively as possible.

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  9. Oh, oh, oh — reminding ourselves of the little steps. I feel that. Often, I forget to acknowledge my own incremental movements…always looking for ‘big moments’ as I miss the meaningful progress that’s right in front of me. Thanks for all of this, Wynne! 😘

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  11. I can relate Wynne. I remember too being envious of fraternity brothers in college who never seemed to worry much about money. They never seemed to have a care in the world. And over time, I became envious of those with time . . . something I could never catch or get enough of, especially when the kids were younger. Now that my kids are older, I will say that my infatuation with time has lessened over the years. I don’t feel pulled in so many directions now. I don’t really have a point with my comments, other than to make sure that you give yourself a break. When my kids were about the same as yours, I was just struggling to keep my head above water. When we’re in the middle of the craziness, we’re not always able to give ourselves a break, we’re just trying to keep up with the next thing. You should be applauded. Everything that you’ve got going on . . . . You’re doing an amazing job! My little pep talk for the day. Hope it helps.

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  12. I think that it is very human to want things that we see others have and who seem to be getting enjoyment out of those things- of course during the times when perhaps we’re struggling the most. While I never would say don’t be thankful for what you can find in the small things and moments I wonder if perhaps the bigger life lesson is to actually sit with the envy and longing and desire for a bit. Are we too quick to label an emotion or reaction like envy as bad and feel the need to strive to overcome it rather than looking at why? Maybe there are deeper reasons- maybe not, but I’m just not sure if we need to dismiss negatives/ search out positives without simply feeling and examining all the emotions we have.

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    1. What a fascinating and insightful comment, Deb. I think you have a point about uncovering what lies underneath and I’m going to have to give that some thought. Thank you so much for adding this astute observation!

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  13. Love the idea of reaching for a feeling of abundance within the space of a few moments. That’s a good way to cherish what that time. I wish someone would invent organic, healthy and nutritious pop tarts to solve the needing to cook problem 🙂

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  14. Wynne, what a fabulous quote “Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature.” And cheers to celebrating your abundance!

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  15. There is a sacred practice that has been passed down from woman to woman in my family and I believe it is one I should share with you. We call it rewarding. As a young mom I used to reward myself with a chocolate kiss when I completed a chore. A load of laundry ~ kiss. Made all the beds ~ kiss. Cleaned the bathrooms ~ kiss. You get the idea. When multiple rewards are required I would switch it up, like treating myself to a mocha after cleaning the entire house or gifting myself 30 minutes to watch a favorite sitcom while the kids slept. It doesn’t really matter what the reward is, what matter is that you do something pleasurable for yourself in between your undying devotion to your kids, the house, and garden. I still do it. Write for thirty minutes ~ reward myself with Wynne’s blog! Hugs, C

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    1. Oh, you have me laughing and smiling, Cheryl. You are so good at doing that. I love your reward system and I am so grateful you passed it on to me. I’ve got the idea and can’t wait to start! Thank you, my friend!

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  16. You and I are very similar in this regard, Wynne. I am thankful I never grew up with money as it made me value things in a different way today. And as a parent, I totally agree with you that I value and covet time instead of money and valuables as it’s such a commodity.

    I also hear you on the reframing our thoughts towards practicing abundance (and gratitude too). It’s when we look at our daily life in this lens that we realize, ya know, we have it pretty good.

    Thanks for that reminder!

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    1. I love your phrase “look at our daily life in this lens that we realize, ya know, we have it pretty good.” Indeed we do! You totally understand where I’m at and it’s nice to have your company in both the problem and solution. Thanks, Ab!

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  17. Sometimes we make the wine, sometimes we drink it! There are cycles in life, and each one has its own challenges and rewards! Nothing lasts forever, just when we get used to a certain rhythm, things change!

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      1. That was something that I would remind myself of when I’d start to get overwhelmed by what I was doing and when I felt I was missing out. It helped me to get centered again.

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  18. I’ve often said that time is the one thing none of us can get more of. I’ve reached a stage in life where I’d happily trade money for time. When my kids were growing up, I had virtually no time for myself. It was difficult at the time, but I’m grateful for the wonderful young women they’ve become. I suppose my time was an investment in them. Now, I’m in a position where I have more time for me, but life still feels frantic some days. I, too, long for the time when I can sit on my deck, sip my tea, and enjoy the morning quiet without a long list of “to dos”. One day…

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  20. I’m not sure if we are reading each others’ minds Wynne, but my prompt on today’s Happiness Project is about birds. And yes, planting those seeds of happiness and appreciating all with gratitude is the path to true joy and abundance. Who am I to tell you, you already know, based on your beautiful posts today and every day.

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    1. I haven’t seen your prompt today but I can’t wait to go find it. And I’m so grateful for you and all your wonderful reminders that keep me on the path! I appreciate you, Alegria! ❤

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  21. For some reason Wynne, your post made me think of Thoreau. Having such a connection to nature is important – I love your “dirt therapy”! And focusing on the smaller moments and things, and acknowledging and accepting these as true abundance is freeing. Thoreau states, “Let us spend one day as deliberately as Nature, and not be thrown off the track by every nutshell and mosquito’s wing that falls on the rails.” I work towards this goal. 🙂

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      1. What a beautiful response, Belle. That line from Thoreau is wonderful. “not to be thrown off track by every nutshell and mosquito’s wing.” Yep, I’m working toward that goal too and loving that I’m in your great company! 🙂 ❤

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  23. I’ve never been all that taken with showing off and drawing attention to myself through displays of wealth. Heaven knows I went to college with kids of the moneyed class. I do strive to be content with what I have, and maybe I always have, because that seems more like abundance to me than Benjamins.

    [Also, don’t know if you care, but your blog is covered with one advertisement that is about How To Stop An Affair. It shows up every few paragraphs. At first I thought that was what you were writing about.]

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    1. How interesting about the affair advertisement. And Betsy said there was a shoe one last night. Hmm, am I supposed to be drawing some conclusions from these? Thanks for letting me know.

      Striving to be content with what we have — what a great goal!

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  24. You are raising two children solo, work to support said children, post a blog or two every day, read and comment onoh God knows how many other blogger friends, oversee the workings of a community blog, respond to heaven only knows how many comments from your rapidly growing numbers of adoring fans while I try to find the time to keep up with reading just a few blogs and write a comments daily. Your blog life alone seems like a full-time career. Here’s a challenge for you, designed to save a few minutes of your day. Are you ready? Okay, here it is—do not respond to my comment. Can you do it? PS—the push of a like button sans comment to let me know that you saw my comment would make my heart happy. 🥰

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  25. It’s so much about balance and priorities. Yes some things can go by the way side but others need to be kept as a priority. Such as lunch out with friends or a mini work out. Time digging in dirt is definitely bonus time. Bernie

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  26. Lovely post Wynne and you conclusions are absolutely something I can agree on “I wouldn’t give up these pearls of wisdom that I’ve picked up along the way to go back”. An Italian actress, died already a long ago, didn’t want make up to cover her wrinkles because she didn’t want to cover the signs of her wisdom.

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