Preparing to Meet

Posted in confidenceTagged , , , ,

“My heart laughs with joy, because I am in your presence.” – Chitmachas Chief

How do you prepare to talk with someone that you have great admiration and respect for? I once read a discussion of this question. It’s an interesting one, isn’t it? It combines the need to be courageous along with the ability to master your anxiety.

I recently wrote a quick recap of the moment that my kids and I came face to face with grammy-winner Macklemore and his kids. Did I say anything to him? Nope.

Along those lines, I can think of the time when I was in my 20’s and I got onto an elevator and it was just Bill Gates and me. All I did was squeak out a high-pitch, “Hi.” Wow – that’s profound… <eye roll>

Podcasting with fellow bloggers, creatives, and writers has given me a new opportunity to practice the skill of meeting people I admire, even if it’s just over a video call. Of course, I prepare by reading as much as I can and also writing out discussion prompts.

But it’s the quelling of the nerves that is most interesting to me. I’ve found if I can quiet the noise, it allows me to access a deeper kind of question that arises out of curiosity instead of judgment (of myself). Unsurprisingly, my go-to method is meditation. It allows me the practice of quieting my ego before stepping in to a shared conversation with another human. Sometimes, it evens allows me to listen to my intuition.

And the answer I read about to this question was in Mark Nepo’s Book of Awakening. Here’s Mark’s answer:

“’If I only have this time on Earth with this person, if I may never see them again, what is it I want or need to ask, to know? What is it I want or need to say?’”

Mark Nepo in The Book of Awakening

On that note, Vicki and I talked with blogger, film-maker, producer, director and overall story-teller, Mitch Teemley on the episode of the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast released today.

I hope you’ll to listen to this podcast so you can be inspired by this wonderful man. Search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts or click here to listen to Episode 9: The Audacity to Believe with Mitch Teemley on Anchor.

Show notes and more links for Mitch Teemley plus a space to share the take-away gems that you glean are on the Heart of the Matter: Episode 9.

(featured photo from Pexels)

38 thoughts on “Preparing to Meet”

  1. I once had Peter Frampton start up a conversation with me while we waited in line at Star$. I didn’t know what to say back to him so I just smiled and nodded my head. As an older person it seems like a missed opportunity but in the moment… 🤷‍♀️

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Wow – that’s a good one, Ally! So remarkable that he started the conversation with you! After you walked away, did you think of something that you wished you had said?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Not really. I was more amazed by the whole thing than anything else. I’m an introvert… and there I was talking to this famous [handsome] man who was making small talk about the weather.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Amazed is a good word for it! When I think about Macklemore or Bill Gates, I can’t think of anything to say either so perhaps those are best left as brief encounters?

        Like

  2. I have interviewed some big names. The more they have been interviewed, the more likely it will become a canned response of the kind politicians give. If you can get one unique response, you have accomplished something. Those moments are memorable.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Ah, some great wisdom borne of your wonderful experience, Dr. Stein. It seems to me that when you do get that unique response, it might be in part a willingness to be courageous and dig deeper for you and for them?

      Like

      1. It is complicated, Wynee. I learned how to be a good interviewer by doing something around 3000 interviews. Experience tells you when to ask the most difficult questions and when to ask them. With people who prided themselves on preparation (like Chicago Symphony players), your own preparation had to be evident.

        Deeper means different things to different people. How open were they going to be? Much of that depended on their own personalities and internal limitations. Not every interview revealed unexplored sides of the individual. Certainly, time was another factor. Just talking about this group, I came to know more about the history of the orchestra than many individuals who played in it, but that history came from a different perspective. It did not involve some of the technical difficulties but an enormous number of stories. It was a great privilege, as was the chance to be a healer for those who came to me most often in the work I trained for.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Your reply gives me a great sense of your immense skill which is of course not how you would put it but I feel quite certain about. 3,000 interviews – wow! And the view that you got of the history from a different perspective. Funny but I get that a little bit with the companies I work with – as a technology provider, often I stay in place through company re-orgs and transitions and become a holder of their history in an odd way.

        Preparation, timing, and recognition of what a privilege it is are three wonderful things I get from your comment.

        I see on your CV that you were part of the Chicago Symphony Oral History project. Is there a book or an archive created from that work?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. The project was created before me at the instigation of Evelyn Meine with the participation of the CSO Archives, including Brenda Nelson Strauss and Frank Villella, the successive Directors of the Archives.

        When I began to be involved in 1997, the project was dead. I was told there were two reasons: The volunteers were either musically knowledgeable but weak at interviewing or excellent interviewers without musical knowledge. I knew I had both required skills. I negotiated a compensated position with management. I knew the orchestra President of the time, Henry Fogel, and he was agreeable.

        I hoped to write an oral orchestra history when I began the work. While it was enormously rewarding and great fun, over time, I decided I didn’t have the ambition to do more than interview people. I knew many individuals who came to grief over writing books, not because they didn’t get written, but because of the soul-crushing devotion and effort sometimes required to do it and the family relationships that were minimized to make the book a priority.

        Perhaps one day, someone will use part of what I did in such a book. I was quoted several times in Tom Saler’s magnificent biography of the conductor Carlo Maria Giulini. But unlike many people, I have long seen my ambition diminish.

        I am comfortable to have done the work, recently gave up that project, and don’t care whether a book will eventually be created by someone else who makes me a footnote. I am at peace with my name being forgotten. As Goethe wrote, “Namen sind Klang und Rauch.” In English, “Names are like sound and smoke.”

        Liked by 1 person

      4. What an interesting project and wonderful that it was rewarding in and of itself. I think what you say about prioritizing your relationships over writing a book is completely in-line with the wisdom you’ve shared on WordPress and the research that shows, relationships matter the most. A beautiful glimpse of you showing us how one lives into their values. Thank you!

        Like

  3. Oh yes…talking to Mitch was a treat…and it’s fun to hear how ‘starstruck’ we can all be…even Ally! Bill Gates for you Wynne and a Peter Frampton moment for Ally?! Wow! Me? I was once at a baggage claim carousel and found myself shoulder-to-shoulder with Wolfgang Puck as we waited for our luggage….it was NOT one of my better ‘star sighting’ moments. I babbled. He frowned. I’ll spare you the rest. But Mitch? All fun – and inspiration! 😉

    Liked by 5 people

  4. I’m looking forward to listening to the podcast once I get home. As for what you’re saying, I’ll practice meditation the next time I’m in this kind of situation

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “Quelling of the nerves” is what I need. When I started my career in PR our firm handled celebrities and none made me nervous until I was face to face with Frank Sinatra. I couldn’t steady my hands and my legs turned into jello. The guy standing behind Frank said “What’s wrong you look like you’ve seen a ghost” and laughed. It was Paul Newnan 😂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Wow wow wow, what a story, Elizabeth! Made more remarkable that you weren’t nervous about the other celebrities. I hope you’ve written down and recorded that story for your kids – that’s a cool one!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. That is pretty darn cool that you got to meet Bill Gates in an elevator. I would’ve squeaked like you as well!

    In my 20s, when I did a lot of freelancing and also ran one of the first fan sites for the soap opera The Young and the Restless, I got to interview a lot of people from the show and definitely had to get over the star struck thing. As crass as it sounds, I just try to remind myself, they poop and burp just like all the rest of us. And it grounds me. 😆

    I love how your podcasting adventure just keeps on growing and brings connections and stories to life. Keep it up!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m laughing that you would have squeaked too. But maybe not if you practice your burp and poop thing too – so, so true! Maybe it’s not fair because they aren’t at all surprised to see us and we are surprised to see them??

      I love the story about the Young and the Restless fan site. What a great story – I hope you’ve written some of that down for T!!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Fortunately for me, I’m so awkward when meeting new people that when I meet a celeb and make an ass out of myself, it’s just more of what I’m already used to. My library hosts an event with a nationally known author each year, so I’m guaranteed one celebrity meeting per year. I’m a bit smitten with this year’s author, Sarah Penner. I’m sure I’ll come across as a complete idiot.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, that is one upside as you present it, Jeff! I can’t recommend meditation enough – the loving-kindness meditation is quick go-to and research has shown it reduces activity in the anxiety part of the brain.

      I love that your library has great authors coming through. How fun!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I got the opportunity to meet my rock ‘n roll hero, Bruce Springsteen, once. The three hours leading up to our brief moment together, I thought about all the things I should say. And in all the years since our meeting, I have thought about all the things I should have said. But when the big moment arrived, I was so star struck, I just mumbled something ludicrous and forgetful. Sigh.

    But, hey – I got to meet The Boss! Hugged him and everything!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. He was touring bookstores to promote his autobiography and they had a lottery system for people to get a free autographed copy of the book and an individual meet-and-greet session. In Portland, he visited Powell’s Books. They opened the phone lines at 9 a.m., and all I got was a busy signal, but I refused to give up. I kept hitting redial for 15 minutes straight, and finally got through. I was able to snag a coveted spot, much to the chagrin of my friends who were also fans.

        We queued up in line and slowly made our way through Powell’s. There was a curtained-off section where we got to meet Bruce and have a photo taken. All in all, I spent about 10 seconds with him. But what an amazing 10 seconds that was!

        Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.