Sunday Funnies: Feb 12

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A re-run of my dad’s humor cards. They make me chuckle all over again – so I hope you enjoy them whether it’s the first time or second (first posted on 1/2/22).

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories he heard, found or saw and then typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

School Excuses

Favorite excuses written by parents to principals.

  • Please excuse Lisa from school yesterday. She was sick so I had her shot.
  • I hope you will excuse John for being absent Jan 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
  • Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
  • Dear Mr. Thomas, Jennifer missed school yesterday for a good reason. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

I believe these were first published in an Ann Landers column.

34 thoughts on “Sunday Funnies: Feb 12”

  1. Ann Landers is grateful for your putting her name back into circulation. Sic transit gloria mundi.

    For my part, I’ll take the laughs. Thanks, Wynne.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Haha, these excuses are hilarious! Your dad had a great sense of humor. It’s so important to have a good laugh every once in a while, especially during tough times. I can imagine that these cards were a source of light and joy for him. Thanks for sharing these with us, Wynne.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. I once had a coworker who failed to come into work one day and never called in sick. The next day, her excuse was ‘sorry, I thought it was Saturday.” I told her to lay off the hard stuff on weeknights and she gave we a cautioning glare.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Well your dad (and you) have done it again! I especially enjoyed the “leaky boots” excuse, but the January 33 ran a pretty close second. I’m so glad that you decided to run with the re-runs!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha yes- I’ve heard a few good ones! 😁 The Eagles defense was so poor yesterday- I figured they would have trouble stopping the Chiefs but thought they would do just enough to win. Ah well…..

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I had to go to the pile of cards to check his notations – looks like he used it in three sermons and two classes. It doesn’t say how — but I imagine one of the ways would be giving inventive we are when we try to get out of things we know we’re supposed to do?

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  12. I once excused myself from an absence by taking a letter my mom had written and painstakingly tracing every letter of hers to form actual words in her handwriting. The excuse was something simple (probably a sore throat or stomach bug), but man, the determination it took to do so astounds me to this day.

    Also, what was the point? Did I think my school had every parents’ handwriting on file to compare against possible forgeries??

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s hilarious, Mark! I suppose when we were trying to do things wrong back in the day before we actually knew how people operated, we probably were hit and miss as to where to apply the effort to get away with it! 🙂

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