Authentic Pride

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“Doing stuff is hard, shout-out to anyone doing anything.” – unknown

Last night as I was taking out the food scraps to the compost bin, I saw a bunny nestled by a tree. I got down low in the evening light to try to get a closer look. It was the same color as the bunny I saved when my cat brought a baby bunny in the house a couple of months ago. I started to feel some kinship and pride with this little creature – maybe this was the bunny I rescued from the jaws of my cat.

And as soon as I did that, I felt the reflex to believe pride was a bad thing. You know, one of the seven deadly sins and all that. Perhaps I shouldn’t personalize this bunny at all because its survival was 99% not about me.

Here’s the thing that I’m thinking as I type this. Is there a middle ground? Because on the morning the cat brought a baby bunny in, I managed to get the cat put away downstairs and shooed the bunny safely away. ALL without waking my kids and I got a video so I could show them.

No, I’m not responsible for the survival of the bunny in the big picture. But I did step in for a moment when the bunny’s life teetered between chaos and freedom. I got my butt off the meditation cushion for long enough to feel the pulse of life and opted for action. Which is a great of why I bother to meditate – to pay attention to the sacred moments as I described in my post Sacred Time.

If we can’t feel the reward for moments when we do act well because pride is a sin, do we undercut our own feedback cycle? And I’m not talking about a conscious decision not to celebrate the win – I’m talking about generations upon generations of family tradition to endeavor to be humble, maybe even falsely humble.

So I checked Brené Brown’s definition of pride from Atlas of the Heart. “Pride is a feeling of pleasure or celebration related to our accomplishments.” She added that pride related to an accomplishment has a positive connotation and is differentiated from hubris. Sometimes we refer to this authentic pride.  

I officially write this post feeling proud. I saved a bunny and maybe I even saw that bunny again last night. I think celebrating our good moments is worth mentioning. Don’t you?

51 thoughts on “Authentic Pride”

  1. The impression offered by your writing, Wynne, suggests you don’t have a problem with outsized self-promotion of your greatness. As to a separate question you raise, the inherited weight we humans carry of all those generations presents questions always worth asking.

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  2. To the idea of “tooting one’s own horn” as someone in my family used to love to say, I say why not- in a reasonable manner of course. We all deserve a pat on the back and if that means we do it ourselves on occasion then I’m okay with that. It is that boastful and constant seeking of applause you mention that is tacky and unnecessary. I hope that was your bunny Wynne. I also hope the cat chooses not to invite this one, no matter who it is, into the house to play 😉

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    1. I’m smiling about the cat not inviting this one in to play, Deb. The cat seems to be also shifting into lazy fall mode so I think our outdoor creatures can breathe a little easier. Happy Monday!

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  3. Correct, Wynne. But one must remember Socrates said he knew nothing, the reason he gave for asking questions. And, in the end, he had to choose between exile and Hemlock. Choose whatever lesson you wish.

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    2. Socrates also said “All things in moderation, including moderation.” I believe Socrates was a man of principle, and I admire him for it and sad that we lost him prematurely. If only we had followed his and Plato’s teachings and not some of those who followed them, where would we be now? You are right, Gerald, that we are fortunate to have the privilege of asking these questions, learning lessons, and maybe one day answering them, too.
      I do not admire our history’s many small minded people, who have found pleasure in shutting others down: others’ curiosity, others’ joy, and, yes, others’ pride in their accomplishments. I believe it’s great to take positive pride in one’s positive accomplishments… Especially in the gentle way you do, Wynne!

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      2. Ah – the privilege of asking questions. EW, I love it — and it’s something that you do so well with your curiosity and great questions!

        And on the other side – small-minded seems like a good description. And scared.

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  4. Wynne, I think this is a complex subject, and you differentiate the various aspects of it well. For my part, I’ve rescued various critters from the jaws of my cats over the years, and I felt good about it at the time. (Mice, birds, small snakes.) But always there are questions… My cat(s) know where there next meal is coming from, so I have asked myself, is it my right to tame my cat(s) to the extent that their natural instincts are completely squelched? So then I think of your bunny. I have less of a problem with a snake than I do a bunny being hunted. But why? So that raises my fear and therefore my prejudice against snakes. See the rabbit holes we go down? *sigh* But they do make good fodder for contemplation and blog posts. Lol Happy Monday to a fellow “overthinking mind”.

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  6. I love this “to pay attention to the sacred moments “ that I find absolutely true! And “celebrating our good moments is worth mentioning” is not only that, but it is something you should always do!

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  7. Definitely so. Being humble does not mean we cannot be proud when we do or achieve something. Maybe you feel or think that saving the bunny was a small thing. If you could ask the bunny. I bet it thinks otherwise 😊 I would say well done.

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  9. Cheers to all of this…nothing more so than: …”to feel the pulse of life and opted for action”. Thank you for sharing…and allowing the peek into your inner dialogue. Always so rich and wonderful. ❤

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      1. Ohhhh I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true…don’t get me started because I could keep on going…kind, insightful, encouraging, funny…your inner dialogue has a lot of facets – all wonderful snippets of Wynne. 😘

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  10. Hi Wynne – I see the comments all reflect support for you “tooting your own horn”. Funny I never felt like you were doing that at all. I felt happy about saving a little bunny and shared that positive feeling. Pride when it’s sinful I think is when a person stops seeing other people I think and only worries about how it reflects on themselves. My dear wife saves spiders all the time in the house and it makes her happy – no mercy on mosquitoes though. I sense you are looking outward more than inward, you listen as well as share and both are important. You are important also and your thoughts, and feelings have value and that’s not pride. BTW we once had a wonderful black and white tuxedo cat, Errol Flynn. Still miss him – he was smart as well as good looking. – Best wishes – David

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    1. I love your distinction about inward/outward ‘Pride when it’s sinful I think is when a person stops seeing other people I think and only worries about how it reflects on themselves.” Great point, David. And sweet that your wife saves spiders (which probably helps in the fight with the mosquitoes too)!

      And I love that you had a similar cat – beautiful! Thanks for commenting!

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  12. I so love this. And if saving the bunny and/or celebrating it is anything remotely related to pride, I’m with Brené Brown. It’s all the good kind! 😃

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  13. I grew up in a culture that, as you described, tries to undercut feelings of pride and I question that now as a parent myself.

    I think there’s a different between Pride and obnoxious bragging – the latter crosses the line too far.

    I think you should celebrate and feel proud of saving that bunny’s life! 🙂

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  14. Hi Wynne!
    I just had this conversation similar to your first reaction. My adult daughter explained this to me and I’ll try to relay it.
    Basically our first thought which in your case was pride is a sin- and then we recognize that that is something perhaps not really true and with further retrospect decide that it is ok.
    So don’t feel bad that this internal dialogue happens.
    My daughter and I were discussing internalalized misogyny which we both have to fight- that women are inferior to men. What we were taught growing up is still a part of our memories but we can make our second thought the right one.
    I hope that makes sense.
    Good for you for saving a bunny 🐰, and then seeing it later! You should be proud at your small yet big contribution to bettering the world through your blog, observations and kindness you show answering every comment with much care. Heck I’m proud to know you through WordPress ❤️😍🥳

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    1. Oh, what a lovely comment. Thank you, Victoria. And your explanation makes sense. The reflexive thought needs to be corrected. I wonder if we stay consistent with correcting it if the new thought ever replaces the old pattern? Let’s hope! Thanks for adding this great comment!

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      1. I think in time it may! Once you see it right? Can’t unsee it! I also wonder how many other ways I think in a while I will decide differently lol 😂

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  16. Absolutely. There are no accidents and finding joy and being present in the moment is what this life is all about. Even if it wasn’t the same bunny, which I’d like to think it was, it was a reminder to you and now to us readers to show kindness and empathy whenever possible. 😊

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  18. I do think that sharing good moments and accomplishments is important because it suggests an emotionally and spiritually balanced person. I have, however, had people tell me that to say something positive about yourself is bragging. And that is wrong. I’ve never been able to embrace that idea, but I sure know a few Negative Nellies who do.

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  19. As I was reading your post Wynne I had the thought that pride related to hard work and accomplishment is a good thing, whereas excessive pride, hubris is not so good at all. Then I read the quote from Brene Brown. Absolutely true. Be proud. Because you tipped the balance between chaos and freedom and that freedom altered something for the bunny and you. Be proud.

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  20. Being true to our authentic self often includes doing for others. If doing for others is being true to our authentic self, it seems natural that feeling good about our deed would most certainly be allowable, not prideful. Save the bunnies, I say! And feel good about it!

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