When Not to Write Back

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“Wine had to be grapes first. Diamonds had to be rocks first. Butterflies had to be caterpillars first. Rainbows had to be storms first.” – Matshona Dhilwayo

On Monday night, my hometown football team, the Seahawks won their first season game against the Denver Broncos. It was remarkable because our former star quarterback, Russell Wilson, just traded to the Broncos and because expectations are pretty low for the Seahawks this season. Our new quarterback, Geno Smith, was the backup quarterback for three years waiting on the bench while Russell Wilson got all the limelight.

I didn’t watch the whole game but after I got the kids into bed, I turned on the tv to see the final moments and caught a glimpse of something wonderful. At the end of the game when the Seahawks pulled off a 17-16 victory, Geno Smith said to the interviewer in an ecstatic moment “They wrote me off, I ain’t write back though.”

I don’t think you need to be a Seahawks fan or even a football fan to enjoy that sentiment. The pure belief to persevere when others don’t see your potential. I mean, he’s a pro quarterback in the NFL so clearly he’s a remarkable athlete but in the circles that he runs in, it’s easy to imagine that he wasn’t feeling a lot of respect.

How do we maintain our belief in ourselves when it doesn’t feel like the world is in accord? It seems like we are talking about the very source of our purpose and calling. And we are talking about deep knowing whether we are walking on the right path and sticking there in the tough moments because we have the guts to keep going. It speaks to finding our why, as Simon Sinek says and I wrote about in a post by the same name.

Perhaps the world will never value the contribution that we make in the way we envision it should happen. But time and time again I’ve found that if I stay in accord with that small quiet God-whisper and keep trying, SOMETHING will come of it.

Or as Geno Smith says, listen to our hearts so that we know when NOT to write back.

What’s your metaphor or mantra when you are sticking with something hard?

(Mark, I’m sorry that your beloved Broncos had to lose in order to inspire the content of this post. 🙂 )

(featured photo from Pexels)

45 thoughts on “When Not to Write Back”

  1. Morning, Wynne! I took a look at the piece you wrote back in March about ‘your why’ and I love it: “To encourage and cheer for others so that they feel supported and emboldened in the pursuit of life in the fullest on their individual paths.” Thanks for linking it. Beautiful!
    Your question about sticking it out when life/stuff is hard is such a good one. I see how you anchor yourself to support and cheer on others. You do it right here! 😉 I SEE you.
    But your question — what’s my mantra/metaphor? Oh geez…probably so many self-talk tidbits but the one that popped first when I saw your question was this: REGRET TASTES TERRIBLE. One of the best lessons that comes with *maturing*. xo! ❤

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    1. What a wonderful comment, Vicki. I feel seen by you!!

      And REGRET TASTES TERRIBLE – that is wonderful!! I’m adding that to my list – it packs so much punch in 3 words. *Maturing* can be a great thing, can’t it? 😉

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  2. Personally some hardship is simply a challenge to overcome, a way to encourage deep thinking and strategies to solve the issue with the reward being personal satisfaction. But we are human, and we do seek outside recognition and gratification for staying the course or overcoming a tough issue. Often though that work is done in silence. Are some people naturally resilient? Do they carry on by nature, especially if they have no cheering section surrounding them? If that is the case, does that make the final achievement more profound? Anyway, to answer the question, as I have aged I keep going sometimes to prove to myself that I still can, but also because I finally have accepted that I am worth hearing the words Great Job, after accomplishing that hard struggle.

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    1. Wow – what a profound comment. First that hardship is sometimes a way to encourage deep thinking. And also what you said about being worth hearing the words Great Job. Oh my goodness – isn’t that a life lesson? Thank you so much for adding this comment to the conversation and as food for thought for me!

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  5. “They wrote me off, I ain’t write back though.” Love this! Honestly, should be a rap lyric.

    I think the best thing I learned for working through something hard is knowing my why. That’s what got me through grad school. My why is because my dream job is being a professor and I need this goshawful degree for that but I’ll be damned if I don’t make my dreams happen. I don’t remember who taught me this but I always try to teach my students this. Because your why is the only thing that will keep you going on your darkest days. Also paying attention to my why has helped me know when something is not worth it.

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    1. I love that you make the point that our whys tell us when to keep going — and also when to not. That is profound to listen to both. And I love that you teach this – I’m sure all you teach is helpful but if your students only get one thing, that is powerful!

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  6. A great quote, Wynne, and maybe even more difficult for someone who is always in the public eye. A teacher once told me, ‘You could never write like Shakespeare, and he could never write like you.’ That was a line that dropped everything into place for me. When things are hitting a brick wall, I always bring it to mind in helping me through. Thank you for another thought provoking and inspiring post.

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  7. There are always going to be the haters, the trolls, and the people who just enjoy adding a ladle full of hate sauce on top of someone’s struggle in life. It’s really not personal, just their way of feeling better when someone feels bad. We have to keep going anyway right?

    I remember as a single mom being asked why I waste my energy on painting, when I could be putting my limited energies towards something more productive. It was hard for some people to understand that we need to do something because it’s like the oxygen we need to breathe.

    The truth is, they gave up or were forced to give up the thing that gave them their “oxygen”, so “why should anyone else be allowed to succeed at something when they didn’t”?

    I say… keep going! Keep doing!

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      1. Yes, yes! I encourage all who read these words to never give up doing what you love to do!

        If our dreams get crushed or life deals out insurmountable obstacles that prevent that dream from moving forward? Find another dream, another passion! We aren’t limited to just one in this life!

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  8. My experience with vindication, Wynne, the subject implicit in your fine essay, is that it comes (if at all) late. Thus, I’ve focused more on getting over the sense of unfairness. I recall it once came after 20 years. By then, thankfully, it didn’t matter.

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    1. Oh wow – what a great uncovering of the heart of the matter. I love your focus on what we can control (getting over the sense of unfairness) than what we can’t. And your story – after 20 years. That’s great it didn’t matter by then.

      Thank you for adding this to my thinking – it helps me reflect more deeply!

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  9. 80 years of navigating along life’s lofty mountaintops and especially through deep valleys have taught and encouraged me to ‘stick it out’ observing how our God can amazingly bring “… beauty for ashes…” from any discouraging or ‘hopeless’ situation Wynne.

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    1. I love this comment, Fred. “Especially through deep valleys” – what a great phrase and stick it out because God can amazingly bring ‘beauty from ashes.’ Yes!

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  10. Sorry to your friend Mark! 😆

    This is a hard one, because we all, regardless of ego or ego-less, benefit from praise and feeling recognized and supported. So when we feel we don’t have that, it’s hard. But it also means that when we endeavor on something, we must truly believe in it and its purpose that we focus on that in spite of the applause from others.

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  11. “But it also means that when we endeavor on something, we must truly believe in it and its purpose that we focus on that in spite of the applause from others.” – Yes!! We have to believe. Great comment, Ab!

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  12. As lifelong underdog I know how this man feels. People write you off without a second thought. My mantra is, and I know it is a bit simplistic but, I chant to myself: “I think I can, I think I can” and so on. Somehow this keeps me going, focusing on my goal, doing what needs to be done– regardless of external validation.

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  14. A beautiful message Wynne. Sometimes our perseverance seems fruitless, but we can’t understand the full impact of our actions and thus, if that little voice tells us to persevere, then we must.
    When you said, “Perhaps the world will never value the contribution that we make in the way we envision it should happen.” This is only from our perception, in our time. Consider for a moment all those great thinkers and creators who weren’t valued for their creations in their time, but whose creations are valued now posthumously. They didn’t know how impactful their contributions were.
    I addressed that idea in one of my videos. Not sure if you watched, but I’ll link it here for you.

    You always give plenty to think about. Thank you Wynne for your beautiful words and insightful posts, always. 💕🌸

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    1. Oh, I love that you linked one of your beautiful videos, Alegria! And your phrase, this is all from our perception, in our time – profound!! Thank you for adding your thoughts and creativity to this thread!! Sending lots of love!!

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  17. Despite his inspirational quote, his former grammar teachers are crying. (Heehee.) I hope he continues to have a good season so he doesn’t have to eat those words.
    My mantra, which I do have to remind myself of frequently lately is: I can do hard things. My default seems to be to give up when things get tough. I’m trying to push through.
    Also, I’m so so sorry, but little Joe has a headache and zero appetite. This is very unusual for him. I’m quite worried for you now. 😉

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    1. I’m laughing about your warning. But sorry Joe isn’t feeling well. Little D has a stuffy nose so perhaps it’s already reached our house…

      I can do hard things – that is a great mantra!! What a great way to push over the threshhold.

      And I’m also laughing about Geno Smith’s grammar teachers. Yep, it’s hard not to want to edit that one! 🙂

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  20. I read Susan David’s Emotional Agility last October. David describes courage as “fear walking,” a statement to inspiring to me I ordered a bracelet embossed with “Courage is fear walking.” On days that I just want to hide from the world, I put on that bracelet as a reminder. It really does help me.

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