The Window

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“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” – C.S. Lewis

The moving truck has come and gone and with one last sleepover, it’s official that my daughter’s first best friend and our neighbor has moved away. We ticked through the 90 days since the announcement, some went quickly, others with a happy unawareness and then finally the days when it hung over our choice of activities like a dark cloud. And then the time arrived.

This is the first friendship that I’ve seen through my kid’s eyes. It started when my daughter was 3-years-old, I’d put her on my shoulders so she could see across the fence to talk to the little girl next door. If they were really lucky, Miss O would be up on my shoulders and Miss Z who was then 4-years-old would be up on her daddy’s shoulders and they could talk face to face.

As Miss O got bigger and I got closer to my due date with her brother, I searched for a new solution as the shoulder carry got uncomfortable. Putting my 6 foot ladder next to the fence, Miss O would climb up to the highest step we agreed upon, Miss Z would climb her tree and they’d talk.

The ladder stayed next to the fence even as they became more and more comfortable with play dates and visiting each other’s yards. Then one day I found my 1-year-old son who’d just learned to walk atop the ladder looking as comfortable as can be.

Of course I snapped a picture of it as I ran across the yard to get him down. That night after I got the kids in bed, with agreement from Miss Z’s family, I got out my dad’s Sawzall and cut a hole in the fence. After I attached two little hinges and a doorknob for each side, it become Miss O’s portal into the yard next door.

At the beginning of the pandemic, each girl would put a table on her side of the fence and they’d “eat together” talking through the window. They’ve passed markers, stuffies and shared deserts through the window in the fence. They’ve argued and then put apology notes through the portal. When we’ve accidentally stomped a rocket all the way into their yard, sometimes it comes back through the window in the fence.

This window has given me an insight about friendship. About the little windows in which we are visible to each other. The doorknobs we pull tight when the vulnerability is too much. The transparency with which we are willing to regard our own and other’s lives.

Now the window is closed. Sure, they’ll stay friends and figure out how to talk but this open-window era has ended. If fences make good neighbors, then little windows in them make good friends.

49 thoughts on “The Window”

    2. And a profound one for adults “If fences make good neighbors, then little windows in them make good friends.” Like The Little Prince, the scenes that might make a child giggle, might make us look inside and find something insightful!

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    3. I love this idea! Id would be adorable! I’d include illustrations of the kids up on shoulders, on the ladder, and of course the process of cutting the hole and all the lovely memories which ensued! ebooks are easy to format these days, and would make the book available to many kids!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ve made me laugh out loud and cry all at the same time this morning Wynne. What a beautiful post. And- I agree with Evelyn. This would be a lovely story about friendship to share with others.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Of all the fine writing you have shared, nothing has more depth, poignancy, and wisdom than this. Thank you, Wynne.

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  6. What a beautiful piece of writing, conveying a warm and profound insight. I find that’s a constant in your post. Some people in life wrestle with deep questions by engaging with great philosophers and artists. I think that’s a good thing. I do it (I lose most of those wrestling matches, btw) and I’m sure you have, too.

    Others are natural philosophers about life, and find the profound in the prosaic. Nine times out of 10, you share observations about how the everyday speaks to the eternal. I feel I’m learning wisdom rather then simply knowledge, although that’s an amazing Lewis quote to have learned!

    I have admiration for the first group. I have awe for the second.

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    1. Goodness, Jack, you’ve blown me away with this comment. So glad for the window opened between us and if you feel inspired to blow smoke through it, I will continue to believe it.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m very sorry that the big day had finally arrived. But what a lovely friendship to have witnessed from infancy to full bloom. That hole in the fence is a brilliant idea.

    Miss O will undoubtedly have many more friendships in life ahead of her but what great memories you helped create for her at such a young age.

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    1. The funny thing about the hole in the fence was that the neighbors on the other side of me saw me out in the yard at 9pm with a Sawzall attacking the fence and yelled, “What are you doing?” We all had a great laugh when I explained.

      And thanks, Ab. Yes, we will move on. I’m not sure I’ll witness another one so closely but I’m honored to have been able to with this one.

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  11. What a beautiful post!
    I love this, “This window has given me an insight about friendship. About the little windows in which we are visible to each other.”
    The little fella is adorable!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Chaya! Sometimes it feels like these little comment boxes are windows too. Grateful to have gotten a glimpse into you through them and your beautiful writing!

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  14. What a wonderful solution – and snapping a photo of Mr 1 at the top of ladder, even more endearing. Love the little “window door” – especially since we as humans have gotten to having high wooden fences enclosing our yards. A couple of months ago part of the dividing fence between our units fell down – it was quite entertaining for me to be able to see down the length of the yard next door…it took nearly a month for the landlords to thrash it out, who would repair it.

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    1. How interesting about the fence falling down! You’re right – we forget what life looks like without all these barriers dividing us. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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    1. My goodness – that’s a beautiful wish. I hope it’s used by other kids one of these days too. As far being handy – well, it’s not all that hard to cut holes in things… 🙂

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