I like lists. They are neat and ordered and have the magic of being able to encapsulate something. So when Dr. Gerald Stein published this list of 30 ways to become your own best friend, I was captivated. His long and distinguished career as a psychologist and keen enthusiast of life shines through in this wonderful post.
Dr. Stein’s comments on my blogs always make me think and laugh – as does this list with items like #3 Mistakes are inevitable. Master them. Please take steps to skip over their repetition. And #13 Allow love and kindness to emanate from your being. Live with both intelligence and an open heart. Those different from you also find existence challenging.
Without further ado, here is Dr. Stein’s post How to Become Your Best friend

Who is the person closest to you?
You see him every day, talk to him and about him, sleep with him, clean him up, applaud his successes and analyze his defeats.This individual knows more about you than you will ever know.
Maybe it’s time to make yourself into your own best friend, given all that intimacy.
I’ve listed 30 suggestions to get you started.
- Be entertaining company on your own.Inspect your personality and how you view the world compared to others.Seek new ideas, and pass the unaccompanied time with enjoyment.Go places and do things beyond your usual comfort zone, including solo explorations.Perhaps concerts, movies, parks, museums, and tours. Don’t sit alone in quiet desperation.
- Be kind to who you are.Your life emerged without a display case from which to choose the attributes you wanted.You began with raw and imperfect materials of external…
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Good list. I don’t know that I adhere to all the points, but I try to befriend myself. Most days. Usually.
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Ah, that must be why you are so friendly to everyone else! 😉
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It reminds me of the Dalai Lama’s advice: “We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”
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Oooh, what a rich quote! Yes!
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I decided once that I was going to get dinner at my favorite restaurant, alone. That I was going to sit, relax, and enjoy my meal than perhaps head to some of my favorite stores, pick out a good book, and soak in a bubble bath to read before bed. My friend (who I discussed my plans with) was horrified.
“You’re going to eat ALONE? Don’t you feel embarrassed? Doesn’t that look a little sad?!”
No, no, and no.
“It only feels that way if you don’t like yourself.” I told her.
There are so many ways in which being your own best friend or dating yourself is healthy. The biggest one being that you come into this world alone and you will die alone… at least if you like yourself you’ll be in good company. 🥰
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I love this LaShelle. That sounds like a perfect night to me! And your perspective on being in good company is so lovely. Yes, I adore the people in my life but I have to get it right with myself in order to be right with them. Thanks for the great comment!
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I’m glad you liked it!!
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Ahh, nice. Now I don’t feel so bad that I’m always talking out loud to myself. I can just claim I’m chatting with a friend!
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Ha, ha, ha – perfect! 🙂
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This one, I think: When hardship comes, remember how you survived earlier losses and what properties within you enabled you to bounce back.
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Oh yes, that’s a good one! I love how it acknowledges that they will come and that we also have gotten through them in the past and will again.
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I’ve reminded myself of that frequently, mainly when attempting to learn a new Taekwondo form. It’s frustratingly difficult at first.
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