The Right Thing To Do

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“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

After I dropped my daughter and her friend at school yesterday, I kept driving towards my toddler’s daycare while an inner debate raged over whether I should take him to school. He had a cough that he’s 85% recovered from and never had a fever. I tested him and it wasn’t Covid. He was mostly fine but cranky enough that he’d likely not have an easy day. I could drop him off and still be within the guidelines of the school.

But I kept hearing my dad in my head saying, “If it’s the right thing to do, often it’s the hard thing to do.”

Not taking my son to daycare would definitely be the hard thing to do. It was a Monday morning and I had a day packed with work and things to get done. After spending a weekend primarily focused on my children, I was more than ready to switch gears to productivity.

Pondering why the right thing to do is often the hard thing to do, I think it’s because it requires a sacrifice. We give up our plans in order to help someone else. We give up our pride in order to say we are sorry. Or we are giving up the expected path in order to find a deeper answer.

But on the other hand, we gain a freedom of spaciousness within ourselves. It’s a little like telling the truth all the time and then you don’t have to remember all the lies you told. It’s also like forgiveness – where you free up that energy that you no longer have to hang on to. It’s got a payoff in inner unity and less worry.

When I turned the car for home instead of his daycare, I felt the reward immediately because I was listening to my inner voice. In this case it was the voice of my dad but it was also the voice of the wisdom within.

Listening to that voice is never easy because it always makes me wonder if I’m crazy to give up my plans to follow it. But I’ve found when I do, it always puts me into the Heart of life where I can be surprised by the joy. In this case, the joy of an uncomplicated day with my son.

What about you – is the right thing to do is often the hard thing to do?

(featured photo from Pexels)

27 thoughts on “The Right Thing To Do”

  1. Your ‘dilemma’ reminded me how so often that inaudible “…voice of wisdom within…” is His audible call to follow and place us in “…the heart of life to be surprised by joy…” that would never be realized by choosing to follow our ‘easier’ plans the loud voice of pride shouts.

    Kudos to you Wynne for ‘listening’, and making precious little D’s needs your priority.

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    1. You have put it so well. Yes, I agree it is His audible call that is the source of all wisdom and true life!! Thank you so much for this encouraging and beautiful comment, Fred!

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  2. In attending AA, you often hear the slogan “do the next right thing”, which is often harder than doing the thing that would be easier. I really admire your choice here, Wynne…and I do see the sacrifice. You had your day planned out, had things on your To-Do list that needed to be done. And instead of protecting that plan, you chose to take care of your son when he wasn’t feeling 100%, which was no doubt better for him (and the day care providers that would have been tasked with watching a number of children, plus one that wasn’t feeling great). To choose something/someone outside ourselves is often the harder choice, but you chose the hard. I think this speaks to your integrity as a human and as a mother.
    As for me… yes! The harder thing is usually the right thing to do. This is a different kind of example, but today… I am choosing to attend my therapy session this afternoon. I don’t want to, it is bringing up all kinds of hard feelings for me… but I am going to because it is the right thing for me to do for myself today.
    And… hope your little guy feels better soon ❤

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    1. I love, love, love all the wisdom in this comment from you, Grace! You tie together sacrifice, integrity and wellness and show how they can be the same thread.

      And your perspective on the daycare teachers is so empathetic. Since this illness came from there, I think most of the class is feeling bad which has to be so hard on them.

      Good for you for doing your therapy session. I believe that when we do our work, it is not only the right thing for ourselves but also for the world to have people who have lighter and brighter people like you!! ❤️❤️❤️

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      1. You have a very special talent of making someone feel good about what they wrote, Wynne! I feel certain that my comment was not nearly as articulate and insightful as you made it sound, but I will take the compliment 🙂 And childcare workers are superheroes in my book! I have taken care of my niece a handful of times when she was not feeling good and my sister-in-law needed to work… I cannot even imagine having an entire group of sick kiddos. Talk about super powers! Thank you for this interaction today. You’ve really made me smile here ❤

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      2. I think you might have been talking about yourself because YOU have a special talent of making someone feel good about what they wrote, Grace! You made me smile too – hope your day has been fruitful even as you do the right, hard thing! 🙂

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  3. The ancient Stoic philosophers believed that we don’t know ourselves until we are tested. All the rest is self-serving make believe, like small children pretending they are heroic, honorable heros. You now know yourself a little better, Wynne. Brava, until the next test — and the next and the next after that.

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  4. When raising kids, the right thing to do always comes with some form of sacrifice. I recall the time I asked the headmistress at my ten-year-old son’s school to have him repeat a grade so that he did not have to move to the next grade with three bullies, all larger in size, who had tormented him. It meant paying another extra full year of school fees. It paid off for him. He made a new and lasting friendship in the new group.

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    1. Wow – what an example, thank you for sharing it. I’m so glad that it worked out but I can imagine that was a significant sacrifice on your part. How inspirational, Rosaliene!

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  6. I was taught a saying: “do the right thing for the right reasons in the right way at the right time.” Meaning that even hard decisions become easier when you’ve done all those things right. It’s a checklist actually– but yes, it’s not always easy to do the right thing.

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    1. That’s a great saying, Ally! And the one that jumps out to me is “for the right reasons” but if you don’t have that down, it kind of makes it the wrong thing and hard to do the rest. I love having this checklist.

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  7. “… it puts you into the Heart of life, where you can be surprised by joy …” It doesn’t get much better than that! Another excellent post. I think perhaps it gets easier to do the “right” thing, even if harder, when you’re older and don’t have as many competing commitments and pressures. It’s easier to set priorities and know why you’re making them when there aren’t as many other people’s interests in the mix (kids, colleagues, etc).

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    1. That makes so much sense that as we “retire” some of our hats, it could make it simpler to stay aligned with the right thing. Or perhaps, when people are older, they have much more practice doing the right thing so it’s less of a choice and more of a habit?

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  8. Is returning that extra $10 the cashier handed you by mistake a hard thing to do? Most definitely. But I’m too afraid of karma not to.

    I love that Joseph Campbell quote to death btw!

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    1. Oh yes – the karma motivation. A very valid and good motivation. And handing over cash is definitely a hard thing to do!

      I love that quote too. It’s great for those of us celebrating second acts of life! 🙂

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  9. Sounds like a rougher day, Wynne! But you did the right thing. Our conscience is called that nagging voice for reason! 😆

    I hope your son is feeling and got to go back to daycare soon enough and that you can refocus on your energy on your work.

    Hope the rest of the week is smoother!

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    1. That is so true about the nagging voice, Ab! Thanks for the good wishes. I think he’s almost back to 100% by this afternoon so perhaps I can salvage the rest of the week. I know you know the pain, my friend! 🙂

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  10. What an absolutely stellar quote you have there at the beginning of the post. I feel like it’s a sibling to Sydney Smith’s “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”

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    1. Wow, that’s a fascinating quote. I had to think about it for a few minutes before I could take in the full measure of it. It says to me we can heal our mistakes but not our abstentions. I am going to enjoy pondering that today – thank you!

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  11. I liked so much much the quote you began with. It was exactly what I was thinking about yesterday. I totally related to your story as well. Very genuine voice and your readers write appreciative comments. Wasn’t it C.S. Lewis which wrote Surprised by Joy? Thank you this morning for your voice. – David

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    1. Thank you, David! What a lovely comment. Yes, it was CS Lewis that wrote Surprised by Joy! I wonder if each of your transplants has given you a deep sense of the life this is waiting for you? You describe those experiences so beautifully that I get a little sense of that! Hope you had a lovely day!

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