Pass the Sniff Test

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“When people show you who they are, believe them.” – Maya Angelou

I started this morning by apologizing at 5:15am. The cat was wending her way around my ankles as I fed her and I accidentally stepped on her little soft paw. It caused her to yowl and me to let loose with a stream of apologies.

It brought back a memory of a guy that I went on a handful of dates with after I got divorced. One time we went snowshoeing but had to drive farther than planned to find snow. When we returned a couple of hours later than expected, I knelt at the front door, ruffled my beloved dog’s fur and apologized to him.

The date, standing behind me said, “Never apologize to an animal.” I turned thinking he must be joking but he wasn’t that funny – and he wasn’t joking.

If we can’t apologize to our animals that depend on us for their well-being, never lecture in return and love us anyway, who can we apologize too?

So I didn’t go out with the guy again. No apology necessary. 😊

Anyone else have an example of a sniff test?

(featured image is mine)

34 thoughts on “Pass the Sniff Test”

  1. Oh my God, Wynne, you did well stopping going out with that guy! Not only I apologize to my cat, I also speak to her, ask her how she is doing, tell her that I will be back soon. She is a member of my family and I treat her like that.

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  2. I’m not so much a quote person but that one is so true…so very true. People who look on animals as inconsequential make a definite impression on me, and it’s not a good one.

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    1. What an excellent way to say it, Deb – they make an impression, and it isn’t a good one! As to the quote, Maya Angelou nails it – both that we need to believe and often try to override it! Happy Monday!

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  3. Thank you, Wynne, for sharing yet again another wonderful post! As for your apology to “the cat” this morning, I think it’s wonderful that your first instinct is to be loving.

    As for the date, I think experience teaches all of us, how to be and not to be. In this dance called life, we learn so much about ourself from so-called “others,” and they from us. In the moment that your date said, “never apologize to an animal,” he instantaneously reminded you of what you do desire from a partner; so for that, I suppose we can give thanks. I’ve experienced similar events that shouted there message; and I always suffered if I went against my instincts. Always. I suppose my dates also did, if they wen’t against theirs.

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    1. Good morning, Art! You make such a good point about following our instincts and listening to the moments in our lives. There is so much wisdom if we just quiet ourselves and listen!

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      1. Hello Wynne! Thanks so much. It’s taken me quite a while to learn how to trust and go within. In the past, I was seeking happiness on the outside, in apparent circumstances. Now, I just hold the reality I desire in my heart and let it appear. Thanks for your reply!

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    1. Yes!! And I’d celebrate you drawing that line too!

      And even he wasn’t an animal lover, it shows a clear lack of observation for him not to notice I was very attached to my beautiful dog! 🙂

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  6. People do show us exactly who they are don’t they?!

    My example? I went out with a man ONCE for a glass of wine. He told me he had read my book, but couldn’t remember anything from it to let me know what he liked, and I realized that his habit of talking over me and not really listening to anything I said would be my future with him. No thanks! Oh, and he called me that night to attempt pillow talk! I didn’t answer his call! Hard pass!

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      1. Yup! He was charming, good looking, a dentist, into fitness… all seemingly wonderful, but if we don’t look at how we’re treated, we can wake up one day very unhappy!

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      2. That is so true! But I’m laughing about the dentist part – no one he only talked and didn’t listen, he gets to do that all day long… 🙂

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  8. One of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes provides a great sniff test: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” You know how others make you feel, regardless of what they say, isn’t that a great sniff test?

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    1. I love, love, love that quote. And I love the context of how you’ve included it here. I usually think of it in terms of people who make me feel warm and fuzzy — but you are so right on that it works just as well for the sniff test when things feel off!

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  10. I love this quote, but it needs a corollary. What do you do if the friends you have show you who they are, and much is lacking? It’s not that I don’t know who they are, but who wants to be alone?

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    1. Oh, what an interesting point, Em. Because everyone comes with their own mix of stuff, right? I suppose that’s what boundaries are for — isn’t that how that’s supposed to work?

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      1. I think so. They didn’t teach along those lines when I was in school and it wasn’t something my parents thought to do, so mine are still a work in progress. Sometimes their less boundary and more sledge hammer, but I try.

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  11. I LOVE this message! Often, people show us exactly who they are…and we STILL see what we want to see (and often through rose-colored glasses). Seeing people for their actions (rather than their words) is something that I am getting more savvy to the older I get. I try to be wary of first impressions and not be too dismissive, but I am certainly more selective about who is in my circle these days. Great post, Wynne… thank you for sharing 🙂

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    1. I am slowly getting better at this too. I very often have seen people through rose-colored glasses too but yes, age seems to be helping me improve my perception. Thank goodness – and thank you for your kind comment. Glad you liked it!

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  13. I would’ve done the exact same thing! Has an avid animal lover relationships with my animals are more important than my relationships with most people. If you are incapable of apologizing to an animal than you aren’t likely to apologize to those around you for your behavior

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