What’s Next

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“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” Robert Byrne

Several months back when I wrote a post about performing for likes, Ab of the My Lovable Pest blog, made a comment that he had turned off notifications for when people like a post. I thought it was a pretty good suggestion so I modified the notifications on my own blog so that I don’t receive notifications when people click “like.”

It had a funny effect. At first, I really missed getting the emails that “[alias] liked your post and went on to say “They thought [post name] was pretty awesome.” Actually, they didn’t necessarily think it was awesome – they “liked” it. But more to the point, I had to go through the withdrawal of not getting those dopamine hits in my inbox.

Eventually I got used to it and it led me to focus more on the comments I was getting which was a far more meaningful experience of interaction around any particular topic whether it was something I wrote or I was commenting on something someone else wrote.

But then I started writing for the Pointless Overthinking blog. On Wednesdays, I publish a post on that blog with 27,404 followers. And the settings for that blog are tuned differently so that I do get the “likes” for that post, usually about 100/week.

That felt pretty great for the first few posts but then it morphed into a feeling of “what’s next?” A feeling that Harvard professor and social scientist Arthur Brooks describes as success addiction. We get to a new level and it feels pretty great – and then we adjust to that level and look to the next thing.

His cure for success addiction is to know our “why.” By being deeply rooted in our why, we can hope to get off the treadmill of looking for the next thing because we are grounded in our mission.

The why of my blogging has evolved over time. I’d say that I blog because it helps me process the depth and delight of my experience in life. I find something that I learn or see or feel in a day and by writing about it, I burn it in a little deeper. And when I talk about it with people through comments, I get the gift of seeing it through others’ eyes.

Puzzling through this helps me move through that “what’s next” blah because I remember that what’s next is another conversation with my delightful blogging friends.

(featured photo from Pexels)

19 thoughts on “What’s Next”

  1. I immediately turned off notifications of all kinds when I started being involved in levels of social media. I just don’t need to hear dings constantly resonating form different devices around my house. Usually when I take a break from some activity I’ll check the blog if I posted that day. I’ve learned on IG that the people I follow usually post on a fairly regular schedule so I seem to have an internal reminder for them. I believe the notifications are nothing more than media’s way to instill in us a conditioned response, which we know then feeds the need and you’re hooked. I have a hard enough time being bothered by email notifications, which I left on because family will often contact me that way. Same with texts but if I’m honest I would turn those off in a heartbeat.

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    1. I think you are right they program in those notifications to get us hooked, Deb. I think your method of checking when you have a break sounds like a much healthier way to approach it.

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  2. Good idea to turn off like notifications

    I like how you describe why you write . When it serves to distill my thoughts, it makes me feel lighter

    When it wanders, I can sense an absence of flow and stop

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    1. Thank you so much! I saw a funny quote somewhere that said something like — when we were young we wrote in diaries and got mad if someone read them. Now we write blogs and get mad if someone doesn’t read them. 🙂

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  4. I click “like” when I’ve read a post and may not always have a comment to make. I consider “likes” on my blog as opportunities to get acquainted with other bloggers with whom I’ve had no previous connection.

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  5. I’ve been told by more than a few bloggers and commentators that much of what drives readers to “like” someone’s else’s blog or to follow it has to do with a hope the reader will return the favor. Of course, if a blogger continues to write even without that strategy, there must be some additional reason for writing. The standard alternative explanation is inner necessity.

    As to lasting satisfaction, we have evolved because of a diminution in the effect of any joyous or desirable experience we have.

    Thus, if we didn’t find the desire for food to grow again even after a wonderful meal, we’d starve and so would any children, leading to our extinction. The same outcome would occur if an orgasmic sensation was so lasting we’d never have sex again. It is important to remember that evolution doesn’t care about our happiness, it only works to inrease our chance of reproduction and the survival of the species. Inevitably, this leads us to never ending attempts to give ourselves some sort of boost,one way or another.

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    1. What a great explanation of our drive that keeps us evolving, Dr. Stein. I especially like your sentence, “It is important to remember that evolution doesn’t care about our happiness”

      When I first had kids, I heard from so many people the advice, “Enjoy this time, it goes quickly.” And it’s true that it does but the level of effort makes it hard to focus on all they teach me about being human. So yes, I fit that standard alternate explanation of “inner necessity” because it keeps me mindful of my attention.

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  6. I’m glad you tried it out in our own way and that you recognize the why of your blogging journey and experience.

    The validation is definitely appealing, whether it’s for blogging or for social media – let’s not kid ourselves. But without the why, for sure, it feels hollow.

    The conversations for sure are the best of the blogging experience, as you noted! 😊 And thanks again for the shoutout!

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  7. My goodness, this is so delightful. I just LOVE the way you’re able to reflect so deeply on things and convey your thoughts so well. This: “I blog because it helps me process the depth and delight of my experience in life. I find something that I learn or see or feel in a day and by writing about it, I burn it in a little deeper. And when I talk about it with people through comments, I get the gift of seeing it through others’ eyes.” Yes!!! AND the paragraph immediately following. Maybe you don’t write poetry, but you clearly have a poet’s heart. You say things so wisely and succinctly but without losing any of the flavor.

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    1. Betsy – thank you! What a wonderful and affirming comment. One of the blessings of blogging is meeting blog friends like you. And I so appreciate seeing through your eyes! Feeling so grateful for this conversation with you — and all the others! Happy Friday! ❤

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