The Learning Curve

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“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela

We worked hard on potty training this weekend. I found it to be a fascinating window into the nature of learning. And that’s not just me putting a positive spin on it.

Day 1: Chaos. The first morning was hit and miss (or more miss than hit). By naptime we were both exhausted. My son because of the huge change that comes learning how to use his body and me because infinite patience takes a lot of energy! So the first lesson came after we’d both napped. Rest helped consolidate the learning so that he was a better student and I was a better coach.

Then after an afternoon and evening of more efforts and celebrations, my son was never happier to have the feel of a nighttime diaper, jammies and to snuggle up and read books. And it underscored for me the need to have comforting rituals to soothe ourselves when in the midst of big change.

Day 2 was characterized by a lot of resistance and efforts to control everything else around. It reminded me of a Brené Brown podcast I heard years ago that whenever she has led or attended a three-day conference, day 2 was always marked by the doldrums. Brené likened it to the middle part of the hero’s journey as described by Joseph Campbell. The hero does everything in their power to pursue all options except for the one that they are called to that leaves them feeling vulnerable.

Day 3: We needed expert help. Which is uncomfortable for me not have it dialed but the amazing teachers at my son’s daycare have said repeatedly that they are more than willing and able to help with this journey. For which I am so thankful. I left him on Monday with a “Good luck” and “God bless you” and I couldn’t have meant both more!

This learning curve at times has felt impossible, exhausting, vulnerable, and not worth it. Somehow it reminds me of learning to snowboard – and also mastering a new technology, figuring out to give my dog allergy shots, starting to blog, and learning how to do mosaic tiling.

Each new venture has roughly followed the same pattern of chaos, resistance and then leaning in and asking for assistance if needed. And it’s not just me. I have a dear friend who didn’t learn how to swim until she was 60 years old. And my 82-year-old mom has been figuring out how to do piano performances online for her retirement community.

Watching my son, I am reminded how hard learning something new is – until it isn’t. And while grown-ups might not be taking on changes as transformative as potty training, we still need to give ourselves the rest and rituals to support our learning, grace to survive the resistance and the courage to lean in to expert help when we need it.

Because as Nelson Mandela says, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

(featured photo from Pexels)

19 thoughts on “The Learning Curve”

  3. Way to go for persevering! Sounds like you worked through the painful moments and were wise to ask for expert help. 😊

    Potty training was such a bane for us and took so many years to nail it. Sounds like your son is well on his way. 👍😊 Good luck with the continued training.

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    1. Thanks, Ab and congratulations on your perserverence! On our way is a good way to put it. At one point this weekend I think we both wanted to go back — but you never can go back whether it’s potty training or life, can you? 😉 Thanks for the good wishes!

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  4. As yes the learning curve! Never ends does it? Just when we think we’re done for a while, along comes something else to learn!

    Happily, mastery isn’t a requirement for everything! 😊😊

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      1. Right?! Even other things that aren’t hobbies but things we do in life. Like exercising, we don’t need to be the best at it, just doing it is good for us!

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    1. I’m howling at your comment. It’s a little hard to appreciate it in the middle of it. 🙂 But given your plans for the year – I think you are in the sweet spot of your key to joyful living!! And I love how you put it – lifelong learning, being a beginner and leaning into the resistance. So, so wise!! ❤

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  6. There again, a wonderful lesson narrated through your own experiences.
    Life is the greatest teacher and everyday seemed impossible but here we are. 🙂 Definitely there are the bouts of hesitation but then there is the prize at the end of the road.

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  7. I love how you’ve broken down the learning journey. Yes, we all go through it from the time we’re born, until we die, hopefully. Hopefully we always continue to learn new things, making the seemingly impossible possible.

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    1. I think that is a rest and recovery mode well-earned, Julia! Self-publishing is a huge task and your book is beautiful so I think you’ve mastered that learning curve. As we’ve discussed, it’s the marketing learning curve that makes me want to stop before I start so perhaps I need to apply the lessons here to that!

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