Changing Your Mind

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“Your imagination is a preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein

My toddler told me the other day that he wanted Mac ‘n cheese for dinner. As I was boiling the water, he discovered that he liked the food I already had on the table. He turned to me and said, “I changed mine mind.”

I was amused, not expecting such introspection and courtesy from a two-year-old. But of course, kids are constantly changing their minds. They like playing with dolls until they don’t. It’s fine to carry a lovey with you everywhere – until it isn’t.

I recently heard a fascinating podcast from Ten Percent Happier with Dr. Alison Gopnik, a psychologist at UC Berkeley and expert on cognitive development. She explained why it is that babies can change their mind – because their neural pathways are much less grooved than those of adults. In an analogy she gave, she said kid’s neural pathways are a lot like the streets of old Paris, with winding, interconnected little streets. By contrast with adults, our brains look like wider, efficient boulevards that can hold much more traffic that can go faster. The result is as Dr. Gopnik said, “Young brains are also much more plastic and flexible – they change much more easily.”

She also introduced me to the idea of the local optimum, a concept from AI (artificial intelligence). It describes a situation where you can’t really tune it because any small change would make it worse, but a big change might make it better. In her words:

“One of the challenges for intelligence is how do we kick ourselves out of these local optima when we’ve become really practiced and good at doing one particular thing for example, it becomes very easy and natural to think that’s the thing to do. And just doing something that we’re not good at, doing something really different than the things we do every day can be the sort of thing that will kick you out of that local optimum and give you a sense of other alternatives.”

What We Can Learn about Happiness from Babies Podcast with Alison Gopnik

This makes me think of the example provided by the podcast host, Dan Harris. He was a journalist for ABC News for many years. After experiencing an on-air panic attack in 2004, Dan turned to meditation. After practicing for many years and continuing his day job as a weekend anchor for GMA, he wrote the book 10 Percent Happier, published in 2014.

Still working for ABC News, he started a mindfulness company and published podcast content about meditation and mindfulness. Finally in the fall of 2021, he negotiated out of his contract with ABC News to focus on his life passion: bringing meditation and mindfulness to anyone interested.

Dan Harris is a parent of a 7-year-old son. I assume that part of his slow transition is providing that solid base for his family life. But I’m so heartened to see a live example of how grown-ups can make big changes, even slowly, while raising a young family.

My son really meant it when he “changed mine mind” the other night. He no longer wanted mac ‘n cheese. Hanging around with kids, traveling, meditation are all examples provided by Dr. Gopnik of ways that grown-ups can change their minds. I can confirm that my kids help me come unstuck and imagine life from different angles every day and that, as Albert Einstein says in the quote above, widens my view of life ahead.

13 thoughts on “Changing Your Mind”

  2. It’s good for all of us to know that nothing is set in stone, nothing has been preordained (we still have the choice to change our minds), that family history does not equal our future, even a health diagnosis isn’t necessarily a life sentence!!

    I’ve seen terminally ill people heal by changing their habits and ways of thinking! I’ve seen someone pronounced a lifer in a wheelchair relearn to walk, I’ve experienced changing my own brain wiring from extremely negative and prone to anxiety and depression, to learning of see things and myself in a positive way.

    Nothing is set in stone! We have the option to change and to change our minds!

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      1. My pleasure! Simply stating something isn’t enough if we actually have some interesting details to help people understand that it isn’t just new-age woo-hoo, but that it actually does work! Seeing those examples shifted something in my brain to see things differently! I had been taught that things were very immutable, but that wasn’t true. It was just their perception of it, mostly repeated person to person, so seeing a different truth allowed me to realize there is more possibility in this world than we might realize!!

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  3. You make it sound so simple. I remember my uncle would always insist that men are makers of their destinies and with time I have began to fathom what he really meant. Nothing is permanent and nothing is preordained, if one wills, one can always change and liberate oneself. And as simple as being like children can make so much of a difference.

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    1. I like hearing your uncle’s wisdom. Yes, I think if we can get out of our rut and access that innate sense given to us as children of novelty and wonder, we can liberate ourselves, as you put it so well! Thanks for a great comment!

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  4. The plasticity of young minds we’d truly such a marvel. Constantly being moulded by the world around them but not yet stuck or hardened.

    They do provide a wonderful reminder to unstuck ourselves from time to time. Thanks for the reminder today as well!

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    1. As you’ve often said, you learn so much from T as I do from my kids. They are a marvelous inspiration and reminder!

      So glad T had such a great birthday! Even if his dad made him do his homework. Hope you have a great Friday!

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  5. A terrific Einstein quote indeed. I feel it’s likely impossible not to grow and learn about ourselves and others when we have little ones around. They can keep us on our toes, keep us from learning patience, but always teaching us something. (Like to try harder to be patient, in the case of mine.) 😉

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    1. Amen to that! I loved hearing this researcher because she was so passionate about all our kids can do to teach us that it made me feel inspired to be patient enough to learn from them! 🙂

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