Digging Deep Into the Christmas Spirit

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“We are only as blind as we want to be.” – Maya Angelou

For an outing this weekend, I took my kids to downtown Seattle to see the Christmas decorations and we rode the bus, my toddler’s first time. He was wide-eyed by being able to be inside the vehicle that he admires too much.  

It’s been a while since I’ve taken that bus so I selected a stop too early and we had to walk a ways down one of the streets downtown. My 6-year-old daughter found this distressing because of the homelessness. Eventually stepped into a Starbucks to get out of the cold and have a moment of reprieve from humanity.

Eating our snacks outside, my daughter got worried again. We were in Westlake Center park sparkling beautiful Christmas lights but someone was cooking heroin 10 feet away. Not that she knew that specifically but she has an eagle eye for anything out of the ordinary. And a woman stopped us to ask for a couple of dollars to get something to eat. I didn’t have any cash accessible so I said “no” and she started yelling at us.

I am completely aware of my hypocrisy of feeling like our adventure to see the Christmas lights and decorations was in part spoiled by the presence of such need. In the gentle way that meditation often shows me where I need work, I realize it is so unkind of me to say that and is completely antithetical to the Christmas spirit not to help.

When it was just me and my dog, we walked everywhere in the neighborhood and got to know all the homeless in our area. I used to prepare Christmas cards with $20 in them to give to people I’d encounter on my walks this time of year. I also had time to do things like to volunteer for an organization that fed homeless teens.

Now I’m so challenged these days about how to help. Now that I’ve had kids, I have fewer resources both in time and money. And the homeless problem has gotten so much more visible in the COVID era when the shelters reduced capacity and the mayor decided to stop enforcing the laws not to camp in parks. Also for the part of the population who is suffering from addiction, empathetically I have a harder time relating to people suffering from opoid addiction as opposed to alcohol addiction, probably simply because I’ve never dreamed of trying heroin but I had many years when I drank too much.

With all that said, the incongruity of this weekend when I felt angry that the homeless were spoiling my kids’ Christmas celebration instead of the Christmas spirit I should have felt has spurred me that I need to find other ways to help. My protective instincts are too overwhelming when I have my kids in tow but turning my back is neither what I want to be nor what I want to teach my children. “There but for the grace of God” rings in my head as I try to fix my heart on some solution of what I can do to help.

(featured photo from Pexels)

10 thoughts on “Digging Deep Into the Christmas Spirit”

  1. I understand your need to protect your kids but even small acts of kindness don’t go unnoticed.

    When I was a single mom and my daughter was walking with me around the downtown, if someone asked us for money I’d keep my change purse handy to provide a few coins, because some days that was all I could spare. Other days we went inside a Burger King or other fast food place and bought a meal for the person, because some homeless people smell so badly they aren’t allowed inside even if they have money to spend.

    If it happened outside the grocery store I’d buy a hot rotisserie chicken and coleslaw to give them.

    A warm meal is greatly appreciated and I have the knowledge that I didn’t actually contribute to their addiction but helped the person feel a little better. I always loved the buy one get one meal free because I could give it!

    Some days I couldn’t afford even a cheap meal but would get a coffee for someone.

    My daughter remembers this, that we gave not out of our abundance but from what we had at the time. She is passing this lesson down to her kids now!

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing how you managed this dilemma. I will definitely adopt these strategies to help because they are such examples of concrete ways to help and show empathy. Sending my gratitude to you for taking the time to respond and pass this lesson along to me! ❤

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  2. Anchorage, Alaska has a huge homeless population Wynne, the majority of whom are Natives displaced from remote villages. Seeing these unfortunate holding scrawled . . . “Homeless – Please Help” . . . cardboard signs at intersections in sub-zero weather always evokes an unsettling, “…there but for the grace of God go I…” sense of ambivalent guilt for one blessed with so much to help those with so little.

    When I was a single Dad with two young sons, I often struggled with the Homeless/My Children dilemma uncertainty whenever we encountered these fellow human beings on street corners. One day waiting for the light to change at an intersection my oldest, then 10 years old, blurted out, “Dad, give that poor guy some money.”

    Regretfully, in the moment rationalization trumped compassion and I briefly explained how doing so might just be enabling an alcohol or drug addiction. That regret, sparked by my young son’s 7 word plea of pure compassion lingered, and dismantled my homeless giving rationalization.

    From that day forward I’ve striven to see these unfortunate individuals through my young sons eyes, and either buy, offer to buy a meal, or just simply give some money to those homeless who appear in desperate need. To that “…poor guy…” I give money to, I’m content knowing the giver’s compassion trumps rationalization, however the recipient may choose to use the money. It’s what my Savior did for me. Can I do any less?

    My children have taught me so much.

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  4. The contradictions of life are just that, contradictions. I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself by calling it hypocrisy, Wynne. You were trying to have a good time with your kids and it butted against the reality of those who are having a harder time at life.

    I can understand the desire to shelter your kids from the harder realities of life for a little longer and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    The vulnerable population have increased since the pandemic and we should all do our part to help others. But we also should recognize that the problem is larger than any of us.

    I have no doubt that you are a compassionate and giving person. And just in this moment with your kids you were able to help. I have no doubt there’ll be another opportunity to do so.

    On a more cheerful note, way to go for your toddlers first bus ride. Great memory to make and to have.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this gift of a comment, Ab. You are so right. And I realize that as I read your comment that I’m mad at my city for some policies that seem to have exacerbated the problems for people on the edge. But you are so right – they will be more chances for me to help. And the bus ride was great!

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  5. I found a music video on YouTube of O Holy Night by a group called Gentri. Your post makes me think of that video. I recommend you look it up. Made me cry. Maybe this is like a blog version of that video.

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