Stubborn Acceptance

Posted in meditationTagged , , , , ,

“Wherever I go, I meet myself.” – Tozan

My friend Eric, called me stubborn this weekend. He didn’t say it directly to me but as an aside to my mom loud enough for me to hear because I didn’t want the pots in the dishwasher. It didn’t call for an answer but it’s an observation he’s made before so I thought about more deeply as my reactions rolled through me.

First, I got defensive and started wanting to point out all the ways and times that I am flexible.

Then, I got argumentative and created a list in my head of all the ways he is stubborn.

Next, associations started to weigh in and it reminded me of when my ex-husband used to call me in-de-pen-dent in four long syllables that made it clear it wasn’t a compliment.

And then I finally rolled to acceptance. It’s probably true. I’ve gotten a whole lot done in my life because I am pretty determined. This is the shadow side of that.

I wonder why it takes me so long to accept who I am. Probably because I’m stubborn. 😉

But I have hope because my determination to sit and meditate every day seems to help me cycle through all the defenses, arguments, and associations with less friction. It makes me think of the word humble and it’s origins in Latin from humus, meaning ground. Sitting on the ground meditating brings a repeated lesson of my small place in this Divine mystery, a humility that keeps me moving toward the reality of who I am and shedding of who I’m not. I find that most everything works better when I’m grounded.

(featured photo from Pexels)

14 thoughts on “Stubborn Acceptance”

  2. I can relate! I find as I get older I’m less likely to just go along with someone else just to keep the peace, so I speak my mind. I try to do it gently, but of course, not everyone is receptive, no matter what!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Been there . . . Done that . . . and regretfully still do occasionally Wynne. It’s a struggle being human, but an antidote to my pride rooted stubbornness lies in humbly reflecting on WWJD 😊

    Be Blessed lady.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. For the record, I agree with you that pots don’t belong in the dishwasher! 😆 But good for you to working on chanelling your stubbornness into productive results!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I like how worked out your frustration with the situation inwardly … your reactions rolled through you and not onto Eric. You offered him grace but at the same time offered yourself grace as well.

    Btw: I think not wanting to put the pots and pans in the dishwasher isn’t being stubborn it’s your preference. It’s my preference too 😁

    Like

      1. Thank you, Nancy! Not only do I appreciate the support on the pots and pans 🙂 but I love your comment because it reinforces what a gift taking a moment can be to ourselves and to others. Thank you for that kind affirmation.

        Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.