“Just trust yourself, and then you will know how to live.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
My mom’s 97-year-old friend is moving back to Utah. She’s lived in Seattle for more than15 years, has a daughter, granddaughter and great-grandson here as well as many friends and admirers. But she told my mom that she’s moving back because she looked up how expensive it was to transport a body after death. Apparently it’s costly so she decided to move now so she’s near the cemetery where her husband is buried when she passes.
Let me just admit that I don’t know how much it costs to transport a body 1,000 miles. But I can’t imagine it is more costly than packing all your stuff up and transporting it ALL 1,000 miles. While this invokes silly images from the 1983 movie, Vacation with Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo, it also makes me think of a word that I saw on social media last week:
Hiraeth (n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for lost places of your past
For me this Welsh word brings up a sense of the home I’m creating with my two kids as one that changes every minute. With each memory we build a new home and feeling of who we are together and as it evolves, it makes going back only possible in our hearts.
And hiraeth also invokes for me the final calling home that comes with death. For my mom’s friend who believes deeply, it must be a sense of getting ready to go not only to Utah but to her Creator.
Someone shared with me recently that the last word that he and his mom said before she passed was “Later.” That story filled me with such a sense of promise that I can only hope is the same promise that is with my mom’s friend as she moves.
(featured image from Pexels)
I love the word hiraeth. Some years ago, my mother, too, talked about returning to Guyana to spend her final years. I had to explain to her how much her birthplace had changed since she left in 1972.
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Wow, that is so interesting. I’m inferring from your comment that she didn’t go, then? And did you live there after she’d left? Because the events in the Twisted Circle take place after 1972 which I know doesn’t mean you were still there but makes me wonder.
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No, my Mom didn’t go. I didn’t leave Guyana until 1987. Only our father remained until his death in 2001.
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You packed so much depth and emotion into such a short post.
It’s funny how pragmatic and no non-sense people get with age. Your mother’s friend’s pragmatic is admirable and quite wise! I guess moving body services are not something you’d trust with a Craigslist listing. 😆
I’ve never heard of the word hiraeth before so thanks for the learning there!
I too wish for a simple closure for when the time comes for me to either say goodbye or “later” to a loved one or to be the one saying “later” to this world.
So much to think about!
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Funny about Craigslist. Never thought of that as a solution. 🙂
Thank you for the thoughtful response. Yes, simple closure is nice to hope for – let’s hope we have that when we are a healthy and sound 97-years-old. 😉
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This is a beautiful, thought provoking and meditative post.
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Thank you, Nancy! I really appreciate you reading and commenting!
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Beautiful word I’ve never knew. Thanks for sharing it Wynne. I believe every soul possesses an inner yearning for its hiraeth, and I pray your mother’s dear friend is at peace in finding hers.
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Thanks, Fred! I hope it was okay that I shared the story you told me about saying “later” with your mom. I wasn’t sure the protocol for referring to a comment so please tell me if I can do better next time!
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I once attended a funeral held at the airport at the cargo area of a particular airline because right after the funeral, the body was going overseas to a plot pre-purchased by the deceased. A living cousin was also going on this flight to supervise. It was a bit odd. No idea what the logistics and costs were like and how this was handled.
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Wow – what an interesting funeral. I can see why you’d describe it as odd. I’m sure moving a body after death is something that has its own experts and process but it isn’t something I ever thought about before this.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
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Beautifully written
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Thank you! I appreciate you reading and commenting!
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