“Where there is love, there is life.” – Mahatma Gandhi

My dear friend Katie came to pick up her dog and as the kids ran around and showed her how well they took care of the dog she looked at me and said, “I’ll call to update you tomorrow.”

Which was weird because she was standing right in front of me. Update me about what?

Then she called to tell me that her wonderful mom had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. In an ironic conversation, she said that her mom called to tell Katie that something was going on with her and when Katie gently prompted, “What’s going on, Mom?” She said, “I have something but I can’t remember what the name of it is.” Until Katie’s sister that was sitting next to her mom reminded her it was Alzheimer’s.

Katie was the first person that I called when I found out my dad died in a biking accident so we’ve shared these hard milestones of life before. When I was a senior in high school, I lived with Katie and her family when my parents moved across the state so my dad could take on a new job. Katie’s gentle and loving mom, Connie, shared their family traditions with me, bought me matching socks for Valentine’s Day and helped me get dressed for Prom. Her mom is in many ways my second mom.

As Katie and I cried on the phone, I thought about foreshadowing. Which is great for fiction but seems tortuous in life.

When I visited Katie’s parents this summer, they were doing great. It was clear Connie was losing her memory but especially because of her gracious social skills and the way she and her husband of 60 years work together, it isn’t really noticeable as a problem. Her 82-year-old body is still strong and the love and joy she emanates is as powerful as ever.

So we were crying over the fact that we will lose her and it seems more dire today than it did yesterday because there’s a word attached. And that word brings with it a lot of connotations of loss and sadness before the person dies. All of a sudden we started leaving today to imagine the future.

We did our best to return what’s going on now. Connie went fishing with her husband, daughters and son-in-laws last week and Katie and her daughter are going to visit her next week. Then Katie’s parents are off for a road trip south.

If one of these days Connie doesn’t remember the past, at least we can all be with her in the present instead of borrowing trouble and worrying about the future.