The other day I was chatting online with a bunch of parents about how to get kids to eat well. One woman said seeing pictures people post of the interesting and nutritious foods they were serving their kids made her feel depressed. Another said she fixes three different dinners every night – one for the grown-ups and a different selection for each of her two kids. I admitted that I get so tired of wasting food that I often forget to try. There were a lot of good suggestions and strategies in our chat but also a lot of frustration and self-flagellation from parents who are trying their best. It reminded me that parents need a serenity prayer to remind us not to beat ourselves up.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
The serenity prayer is of course most known as a cornerstone of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). I asked a friend who goes to AA, how that meshes with a wide variance of belief systems that go along with such a group. He told me, “when a newby is having a problem with the term higher power, or a ‘God of your understanding’….the old timer would say, ‘for now, just believe there is a God, and it isn’t you, go sit down and listen.’ “
So for whatever Higher Power means to you, it is a relief to acknowledge that there are forces beyond our parenting that influence our little people. We want them to eat well for many great reasons that including our own needs because this is a work in progress and we are itching for solid proof that they’ll be fine and because it is our job and we want evidence that we are doing it well. They will grow up – with our help and in spite of our help. I have a friend with older kids who had a son who would only eat bagels when he went off to college. Truly, that is not an exaggeration. He was a great kid – athletic, smart and kind and she was a fantastic parent. He turned out fine.
These years when my kids are young are the ones where I get to practice that finding that wisdom between accepting what I cannot change and having courage to show up for my kids on the things that I can. It starts with the battles over peas and broccoli but these are just stand-ins for our ability to know when to push, improve our ability to listen and not judge ourselves too harshly when we get it wrong. God grant me the serenity…help me find that place to listen…please make cauliflower too pricey as a sign I don’t need to serve it anymore…let me know that my kids will be fine. Amen.
Surprised By Joy 