“Joy is not in things; it is in us.” – Richard Wagner
I have a couple of friends that identify as serious Buddhists. Neither is the Dalai Lama but I’d stereotype them as people that have made mindfulness a way of life which is a level (or more) up from my I’m committed to sitting down and meditating every morning level.
They are both terrible texters. That is to say I will text them and they will respond without my prompting them for a response. But probably not for days. And no, it isn’t something specific to this friend group because neither knows the other.
Not responding for days seems to me like a violation of the texting technology. It’s made so that you don’t have to pick up the phone at any specific moment but that conversational-ish communication is available to you when you are ready. Right?
My other explanation about their behavior was that they could be unfamiliar or uncomfortable with the technology. Nope, not true – they both will initiate text threads.
But I was listening to the Ten Percent Happier podcast the other day with Matthew Hepburn, a Buddhist Teacher and it prompted another thought.
Matthew Hepburn’s summary about mindfulness was a practice so that we can use our attention intentionally. That is to say that if life is made up of what we pay attention to, mindfulness helps make the sum total of what we pay attention to better and under our control.
When we meditate or sit quietly in any practice and notice where our mind goes – and I’ll speak for myself personally here – it’s most often to my to-do list or where my loved ones are. My attention when I call it back is somewhere between the laundry and my next meal. Nothing wrong with that except that I don’t imagine that is where I’d like the sum total of my life to be. I’d rather it be in the love and friendships I had with others and my usefulness on this planet Earth.
I don’t have a big enough sample to know if Buddhists are bad texters. But my theory reminds me that I can’t pay attention to everything. And that means putting down my phone, turning off the sound on my laptop so I can’t hear the <ding> of a new email. Or better yet, going for a walk outside with a friend.
The idea that we can intentionally set our attention is so appealing to me. It rings true that I can determine the life I want to live just by aiming my focus. Even if that means I won’t be a very good texter.
Surprised By Joy 