Trust the Process

Posted in Uncategorized

“That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way.” – Doris Lessing

At the beginning of this school year I attended that ritual of learning known as parent open house night. There were about 20 of us parents with our butts squeezed into the little chairs. It felt like the room was filled with some collective anxiety about what the school year would hold for our brand new students.

The wisdom Mr. D’s Kindergarten teacher, Ms. Richards, imparted was “trust the process.” She’s been teaching for 18 years (and she was Miss O’s Kindergarten teacher) so she’s guided enough young minds in reading, writing and arithmetic to know that practicing the building blocks will eventually lead to something.

It struck me as I sat there that it’s often the same with writing, music, cooking, gardening – and so many other things. You just have to start and then trust the process that it’ll get to the desired outcome. It even reminds me of prayer when it’s hard to imagine the next step.

A couple of months later in November during parent-teacher conferences, Ms. Richards told me that Mr. D was at danger of falling behind in learning to read. He needed more practice with the letter sounds to start putting things together.

It was worrisome to hear as a parent. In my recollection, Miss O learned to read effortlessly. I’m sure that wasn’t the case – but it was online school during the pandemic and she had a grown-up sitting next to her to do 1-on-1 practice every day.

But I also related it to the messy middle of every project that I’ve undertaken. When writing leads to a draft that’s raw or cleaning the house means I’ve created more piles of things to give away. It’s never pretty.

Mr. D and I have been doing a lot of practice. And I thought he was making good progress but wasn’t sure how much that was my wishful thinking. Then this past week when I was picking him up from school, Ms. Richards grabbed my shoulders so I could hear her over the noise of the assembled students and excitedly said, “I heard him read!”

So, even when afflicted with doubt, anxiety, and you’re tired of the practice – trust the process.

(featured photo from Pexels)

(quote from Reflections on Learning by Real Life of an MSW)

72 thoughts on “Trust the Process”

  2. Memories here Wynne. The youngest grand was dragging her feet when it came to all things reading and associated. Yet when things clicked (I have a video somewhere) she hasn’t looked back since. An avid reader who now loves to do voice overs of the characters in her books. She’s a Babysitters Little Sister series girl. Hilarious when she reads as an 1980’s “Valley Girl” 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Lessing’s quote is, whether she knew it or not, borrows from Plato’s “Meno,” in which Socrates attempts to demonstrate that learning is a form of recollection, by demonstrating that an uneducated slave could solve a math problem.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. For some reason, I had a smile on my face reading this right from the first sentence. There’s nothing more important than having a strong support team in place as young children are acquiring those building blocks. I cannot imagine Mr. D not reading, in his own sweet time. Speaking as the mother of two sons! 😏🤗📚

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Well, I remember trying not to panic or add any pressure. I’m not pointing any fingers, but I know some people who’ve walked into that trap. I won’t name names here, but their first name begins with B and ends in N and they like to blog. I think you’ll be able to figure out the guilty party. Hmm. Ha, ha.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Great reminder! Yes, it’s sometimes worrying isn’t it when we’re doing everything we can and still aren’t seeing results, until something suddenly clicks into place. Bravo Mr. D.! Once we stepped onto the homeschooling path, I learned a lot more about kids and learning, and I’m still not convinced that expecting them (and especially boys) to read in kindergarten is better than first grade (when I was taught to read). That said, I’m happy for you and for Mr. D’s progress.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. And this is what an example of a loving mom does so sweetly shared. The beginning is the hardest part of the work, the middle unknown and how wonderful to hear him read. Kudos to him and to you, Wynne❣️

    Liked by 2 people

  20. I had this parent teacher conference a few times. Of course, it’s easier to say that from the teacher’s perspective when you’ve seen the same thing happen multiple times as opposed to your own child. But the part of the story I want to hear is, was Mr. D as excited as you and his teacher to be reading? Wait, I already know the answer to that. There is nothing quite like that feeling from a teacher’s perspective when you see things start to make sense for children and watch them feeling good about themselves.

    If you haven’t already been doing this, consider having Mr. D read to Miss O when he feels ready. It will be so good for both of them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You ask the best questions, Pete! I think he is – except excited isn’t quite the right word for it. He’s empowered might describe it better. More willing to speak up, sound it out, and share his observations. And that is so powerful, isn’t it?

      But I love that you offer the teacher perspective. It’s so fun to see it click!! 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Lovely post.
    Yes,” trust the process.” And remember, we never know when “The penny drops.”
    I remember one of my students who could grasp any math concept as soon as I first taught it or maybe the second time. However, she had a tough time understanding fractions.
    The student and I worked on fraction problems diligently. I explained fractions in many ways with concrete examples to no success. A few days later, I asked the student what part of the fractions she did not understand. As she started explaining, “The penny dropped!”
    The joy on her face of understanding the concept of fractions was priceless.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. What a delightful read, Vicki! Margaret Atwood’s advice is timeless, and your reflections add such a warm and relatable touch. I love how you bring humor and honesty into the challenges of writing—it’s refreshing and inspiring. The reminder that “writing is work” but also “a choice” really resonates. And the metaphor about being lost in the woods? Perfect! Your post feels like a hug to every writer out there struggling to find their way. Keep sharing your journey; it’s both motivating and comforting.

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Way to go Mr D!

    I hear you on those anxiety inducing parent teacher meetings. I know you’ll understand when I say that one of the most freeing lessons as a parent is to let go of the expectations and to accept that every child will move at their own pace with gentle support from their parent.

    So happy for you and Mr D on his recent successes! 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  29. I’m glad D is doing better and I love your opening quote. But I admit I had to laugh out loud when I read the title “Trust The Process”- but I can explain!

    In my part of the country, which is Philadelphia sports land, trust the process has become a joke that people throw around when everything is screwed up and unlikely to improve. This all has to do with the Philadelphia 76ers, who coined the slogan several years ago as they appeared to be losing on purpose for a few seasons, in order to get premium position in the coming years draft. and despite getting those great players, the team is still full of drama and underachievement- keep trusting the process we say as we laugh at what a mess, the whole thing is. 😂

    Of course, none of that has to do with your post, but in case you’re ever talking sports with someone from the Philly area… 😅

    Liked by 2 people

  31. “Trust the process” – a mantra I’ve repeated to myself many times!

    Each of my grandkids struggled with reading, but they eventually got it. It’s worrisome when they’re in that spot of not seeing how the sounds connect into words, but we as adults need to remember that this is the very time their little brains are weaving more and more neural pathways in their brains that will end up facilitating the process. They’re laying down the groundwork.

    Wishing you Happy Holidays!

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.