Five Minutes from Crying to Trying

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“Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let the tears water the seeds of your future happiness.” – Steve Maraboli

A few weeks ago I had a frustrating conversation with a friend. Months before this conversation he said that he wanted to come out of retirement to work with me. So I started the process with the company recruiter. He had some great conversations with the team but when it came to structuring the offer, it didn’t match with his expectations.

I tried to convince him that the intentions of the company matched his. That he just needed to have a little faith to try it. And I assured him he could just quit if it didn’t. But to no avail, he was locked into his answer and didn’t want to give it a try.

At the end of this conversation, my frustration boiled over and I burst into tears as I hung up the phone. I don’t cry very often. Instead of staying in my office, I walked out to the backyard where nine-year-old Miss O was.

As I explained to her why I was crying, I had a breakthrough of the next thing I should try to do to push my team forward. It was a funny transition of five minutes from crying to trying.

Miss O has long wondered why grown-ups don’t cry. I’ve never had a very good answer as to why. I will often swear under my breath instead of breaking into tears.

But this circumstance reminded me how cleansing tears can be to wash away whatever is keeping me stuck. Watching my kids, I’m continually amazed at the tools come with being human that I’ve forgotten about. My kids go from crying to trying in five minutes all the time.

It’s unlikely that I’m going to join a frequent crier program. Unless we are talking about laughing because my eyes leak tears of joy all the time. But still a good reminder that authentic expression, however it shows up, including writing about it, helps move us along.

(featured photo from Pexels)

56 thoughts on “Five Minutes from Crying to Trying”

  2. “…how cleansing tears can be to wash away whatever is keeping me stuck” that’s great Wynne! I am used to cry a lot for this reason, but when I was a child my parents didn’t want to me crying. So I ended up with crying alone in my bedroom. As a result, now I am ashamed to cry, but I do it, it’s liberating and I feel much better later.

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    1. Oh, I think you hit the nail on the head that parents shut down crying early on. Mine too – especially as the youngest, I associate it with “being a baby.” But you are so right – it’s liberating!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m pretty sure there’s already a frequent cryer program – I’m a platinum-level member. The benefits are outstanding!

    Thank you, Wynne, for being brave and letting us see the wound. That’s very grown-up of you.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Oh, I love it, David! Maybe cry extra at the holidays just to make sure you get your miles in before year-end? But your observation that the benefits are outstanding is both funny and true!! 🙂 Thanks, my friend!

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  4. I find as an adult crying from time to time is a wonderful release of pent up emotion. Once you release them, you can move on with some clarity towards the trying again part.

    And yes, kids are so good at this transition. It really is a marvel and an inspiration!

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  8. Miss O asked an important question to which I think there are answers. One of them is so that we can “move along,” as you have said. I am glad you present her with a good model for life. Here’s to you, Wynne.

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  9. I like the phrase “from crying to trying” so much. Granted, the crying might take longer for some people than others. But, I love the message of washing away the angst in order to focus on the issue. Very nice idea.

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  10. Miss O is so observant and thoughtful, as usual. Yes, why is it that grown ups rarely cry? There is a healing in that release and letting go, and this was a perfect reminder for all of us, Wynne.

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  12. Feel the feelings and move on, I often say. Looks like you did that. Though I completely understand the tears of frustration when things don’t go as envisioned on a project, especially when you’ve worked hard to make it happen.
    And yes, my eyes leak often with tears of joy.
    It’s a good observation from Miss O. The reason adults don’t cry is perhaps because they’re uncomfortable with their feelings, don’t understand them, or do understand them.
    Beautiful post Wynne! 💕

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  14. I’m no expert, Wynne, and would never advise as to the wisdom of weeping. Two observations as a mere man:

    1. For men I think it’s something about needing to be in control – so many men are encouraged to suppress tears. I think that men particularly are sometimes confused; I’ve had conversations with men of different ages, encouraging them that however they are with tears that’s OK.
    2. For me as I’ve got older – perhaps because I’m less concerned about control – tears are more likely to put in an appearance – and that’s OK.

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  16. As I approached retirement, a former boss reminded me that I would often tear up in the office in my younger days. I toughened up a lot with age. I think the wisdom of experience taught me that there are very few work-related situations worth shedding tears over. But I do agree that a good cry can be therapeutic!

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  17. Agreed, Wynne: “Authentic expression, however it shows up, including writing about it, helps move us along.” Pressing ourselves to put words to our feelings is often helpful in understanding ourselves better. Even more helpful in moving myself along is writing out my “authentic expression” as prayer to my heavenly Father.

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  18. When my first husband died, I tried to hide my tears from my young daughters, thinking I needed to be strong for them. I realize now while I should not have constantly being crying, I was wrong to not let them see me occasionally weak. It gave them a false sense that they had to be “strong”. One daughter is okay but my oldest to this day if I ask how she is she will say “I’m fine” when I know she is hurting. She will not allow herself to appear “weak.” I so hate that I did that to her.

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    1. Oh Barb, that’s so hard. I imagine that your oldest had a lot of influences that taught her that response and it’s not all on your shoulders. May we all get to that point where we can admit our needs and weaknesses! ❤

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  19. I don’t cry often, but I think we’re teaching our kids it’s a good thing when we express our emotions. I used to sometimes cry when I was reading to children and got to an especially tragic scene. It seems phony and disingenuous to not let the tears flow when we need to let them go. I think it’s important to recognize physical and emotional pain. Both are cause for tears at times. Crying certainly doesn’t make a male less of a man in my opinion.

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    1. Oh, you make so many good points, Pete! Yes! And that’s what great books and sports movies are for – to get the tears flowing. Definitely doesn’t diminish anyone when we cry! Thank you for the great comment!

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  20. You have a way of writing a post when I need it most. I rarely cry as well, but on occasion (such as this morning) I’ll let the tears flow in the shower. 😢 What feels like a terrible, awful, painful thing can sometimes seem less daunting after the tears are dried, making solutions and actions a little more apparent. 💕

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  21. “Big boys don’t cry” . . . evidently this little boy still hasn’t grown up😊. During trials and tribulations I sometimes reach for a tissue, finding comfort in knowing “This too shall pass“, knowing He’s always there collecting my every tear in a bottle.

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  23. I’m sorry Wynne that your frustration made you cry but that is often when it happens to me too. I just can’t process these unreasonable emotions and I can feel the emotion rising up in me literally until it starts gushing out of my eyes. It’s the strangest thing and one I don’t often succumb to but I agree, it cleans out the emotions, making room for something else and it’s certainly worthy to write about. Hugs, C

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  24. Oh you give me some things to think about and come back to Wynne. I tend to go a long time before I cry (you know, the manly thing – and yes, I’m being sarcastic there) … but when it hits me, it really hits me. Gotta think more on this. And I’m with Miss O. I’m shocked us humans don’t cry more often.

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  25. What a wonderful line about you appreciating the tools that your kids use about being human. Crying to trying, indeed. My crying times tend to be around frustrations, as well as nostalgia (an effect of my daughters being out of the house and in college).

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  26. Children are such wise teachers and free spirits, aren’t they. 🦋 I suppose I would blend with a frequent crier club as I can well up easily with the happy and sweet moments and of course the sad ones too. Thanks for the thoughtful share, Wynne. 💗

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  28. I am a cry baby. I always feel better when I cry, it helps me let it all out. My family are used to it now. I guess my body is used to it too, because why the overflow of tears just cause of a late submission! 😂

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  30. I once heard a person say, a good cry is cleansing from the soul, and I couldn’t agree more. I also love the opening post of this quote. Thanks for sharing!

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